We are in agreement when it comes to Luke's sacrifice in TLJ mirroring that of Kenobi's in ANH. That's one of the aspects I love about it. And I agree with you that some fans' perception of Kenobi's sacrifice as heroic, while simultaneously ridiculing Luke's as him being a "loser," can be considered incongruous.
I also agree that Luke had perceived a potential flaw in the Jedi way, in recognizing that the rise of the Sith had been too closely connected with the Jedi in an almost repetitive and futile way.
Where we disagree is in what Luke ultimately believes is the best way forward. From my point of view, Luke has passed the torch to Rey by the end of TLJ. In the pivotal (and for some damn reason, deleted) scene in TLJ where Rey bolts to go defend the Caretakers, Luke tells her at the end of the scene that her fighting-spirit approach will better serve the cause than a failed old Jedi religion that is overly obsessed with "balance."
Here's the scene (the pivotal part being what Luke says at the end):
If anything, my interpretation of this scene (and I could be grossly wrong) is that Luke is telling Rey to do the opposite of being passive - and certainly the opposite of being pacifistic. And his point resonates with me in this way: if "balance" is a goal for the Jedi, then they'll always be allowing darkness to rise in order to balance the light. I see it as almost becoming perpetual victims of their own restraint and deference to fate. Rey's approach, in contrast, is to just go help those in peril (destroying their attackers if necessary). He explicitly tells Rey that her approach is what the Resistance needs.
But, after his talk with Yoda, Luke seems to merge his different beliefs (both his long-held attachment to Jedi philosophy, and his newer partial rejection of it). He re-embraces the basic value of Jedi wisdom, but trusts Rey to take it to the next (and hopefully more effective) level with more freedom to do things a new way (learning from past failures). As Yoda said, "Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the true burden of all masters.”
