Devil_666
Super Freak
Who doesn't love a long, hard, sweaty, naughty, dirty, mind blowing, pictures falling off the wall, neighbor's complaining, hair being pulled, ass being spanked "Date"?
Stupid jokes
- Thread starter Dr Sam Loomis
- Start date
Help Support Collector Freaks Forum:
anyone know the difference between beer nuts & deer nuts?
beer nuts are about $1.30...........and deer nuts are
under a buck
waka waka waka...............
Some funny stupid jokes here, but those two had me in stitches.
Lol, I had heard this one in these parts, but the key part was that the husband first has a__l intercourse with her in the dark and it's only when they're done and they switch on the light that the wife shows him her surprise.
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Darth Caedus
Formerly Congerking
A guy waked into a doctor's office and said "I think I'm a moth". The doctor replied "I think you want the psychiatrist's office just down the hall". The guy replied "I was on my way there but I noticed your light was on".
Darth Caedus
Formerly Congerking
he told the Dr she hurt all over,Dr asked ,what do you mean You hurt all over
She said , see here,and she touched her arm,and screamed with pain,she then touched her head and again screamed with pain.
Dr said You aren't really a Brunette are you and she said No I am a Blonde,He said I thought so,You have a broken finger.....
She said , see here,and she touched her arm,and screamed with pain,she then touched her head and again screamed with pain.
Dr said You aren't really a Brunette are you and she said No I am a Blonde,He said I thought so,You have a broken finger.....
jonny88
Super Freak
A woman has hanging skin everywhere, on her face and body.
So she goes to a plastic surgeon.
The surgeon puts turning nobs on each side of her head.
He tells her "okay now everyday give the nob half a turn and in two months or so your skin should be tighter on your body and face.
Two months later the woman comes back to the surgeon and says "l have been giving the nob one full turn a day, but now l have a goatee".
The doctor looks at her and says " you have been turning it too much, and that is no goatee that is your muff".
So she goes to a plastic surgeon.
The surgeon puts turning nobs on each side of her head.
He tells her "okay now everyday give the nob half a turn and in two months or so your skin should be tighter on your body and face.
Two months later the woman comes back to the surgeon and says "l have been giving the nob one full turn a day, but now l have a goatee".
The doctor looks at her and says " you have been turning it too much, and that is no goatee that is your muff".
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devilof76
Super Freak
Blonde and her boyfriend are watching the news, a story comes on about a Brazilian skydiver killed in a jump, and she bursts into tears. He tells her it's a risky sport and it's a chance they take. She says she knows, but it's just so tragic.
Once she calms down a bit, she turns to him and asks, "How many is a brazillion, anyway?"
Once she calms down a bit, she turns to him and asks, "How many is a brazillion, anyway?"
Darth Cruel
Super Freak
Oh, hell! This one had me belly-laughing. I love the "dumb blonde" jokes and it has been a long time since I have heard one that is new to me. Thanks for making it a good one!
devilof76
Super Freak
I was worried it was an old one. I'm not good with jokes. As a matter of fact, a friend told me that one the other day when I confessed that I only know one joke (for some reason, my brain can't retain them).
Now I know two.
jonny88
Super Freak
You want to hear a dumb blond story, this one is true and was epic.
My dad used to own a tow truck company. He got a call about a woman not able to unlock the door to her car. My dad sent a driver to her location. Once his driver came back he told us the story. He said when he got there there was a hot blond standing by her car, he said "so you locked the keys in your car" the woman said "No my remote isn't working and l can't unlock my car, the batteries must be dead" the driver said "well you just came out of Walmart (they were in the Walmart Parking lot) go back into walmart and buy the batteries you need for the remote and it will work again, but first do this", he grabbed her keys and stuck the key in the door and unlocked her car.
He said "there you go, no need for a tow truck". he said she was so embarrassed she almost started crying.
Devil_666
Super Freak
That's like people who get into an older car and can't figure out how to roll down the window because they're looking for a button/switch since they have no clue about O.G. window crank handles.
jonny88
Super Freak
That's like people who get into an older car and can't figure out how to roll down the window because they're looking for a button/switch instead of the crank handle.
It's amazing how some people can build/design skyscrapers, build houses, build something out of nothing, fix anything and some can't even drive, open a car door or roll down a window with out getting lost and confused. The human race.
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What ABB would call himself if he were a wrestler ?
-Rex Ruger (Ruger....as in the rifle he used)
Joey Gladstone sez "cut.....it....out"
-Rex Ruger (Ruger....as in the rifle he used)
Joey Gladstone sez "cut.....it....out"
.
Devil_666
Super Freak
You're gonna die in 7 days now.
I don't think so. I didn't watch the cursed video tape or get the cursed phone call
.
barryo
Dealer of Death
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........but kinda mean................
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Pretty dumb one but here it goes.
A cop sees a man driving with a bunch of penguins in the bed of his truck, when the cop pulls him over he says "you can't have all these penguins" "take them to a zoo or something."
The driver says OK and drives off.
The next day the same cop sees the same truck driving with all the penguins, this time wearing sunglasses. When the cop pulls the driver over he says "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo or something?" The driver replies, " I did, now we're going to the beach!"
stupid I know.
A cop sees a man driving with a bunch of penguins in the bed of his truck, when the cop pulls him over he says "you can't have all these penguins" "take them to a zoo or something."
The driver says OK and drives off.
The next day the same cop sees the same truck driving with all the penguins, this time wearing sunglasses. When the cop pulls the driver over he says "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo or something?" The driver replies, " I did, now we're going to the beach!"
stupid I know.
What do you call a ham and bacon sandwich with challah bread?
..
..
..
A "Conflicted Jew" (which is the actual name for of sandwich, by the way).
..
..
..
A "Conflicted Jew"
(which is the actual name for of sandwich, by the way).
Pretty dumb one but here it goes.
A cop sees a man driving with a bunch of penguins in the bed of his truck, when the cop pulls him over he says "you can't have all these penguins" "take them to a zoo or something."
The driver says OK and drives off.
The next day the same cop sees the same truck driving with all the penguins, this time wearing sunglasses. When the cop pulls the driver over he says "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo or something?" The driver replies, " I did, now we're going to the beach!"
It's not bad. I grinned when I read it.
Darth Cruel
Super Freak
You want to hear a dumb blond story, this one is true and was epic.
My dad used to own a tow truck company. He got a call about a woman not able to unlock the door to her car. My dad sent a driver to her location. Once his driver came back he told us the story. He said when he got there there was a hot blond standing by her car, he said "so you locked the keys in your car" the woman said "No my remote isn't working and l can't unlock my car, the batteries must be dead" the driver said "well you just came out of Walmart (they were in the Walmart Parking lot) go back into walmart and buy the batteries you need for the remote and it will work again, but first do this", he grabbed her keys and stuck the key in the door and unlocked her car.
This reminds me of a very embarassing story that happened to me.
To make a long story short, I had to have a tow truck open my car because I locked my keys in it. Then I did it again as he was exiting the parking lot so I had to have him dispatched back to me. It cost me 90.00 in 5 minutes to get those keys out of my car.
I was worried it was an old one. I'm not good with jokes. As a matter of fact, a friend told me that one the other day when I confessed that I only know one joke (for some reason, my brain can't retain them).
Now I know two.
I know exactly how you feel. I wanted desparately to tell the Brazillion joke to my blonde wife and could not remember it to save my life.
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