Stupid jokes

[ZaCHw117]

Oh man. My grandpa told me such a stoopid joke today.

So there's a kid who has a wooden eye. He decides to go to the school dance even though nobody asked him too. He arrives at the dance and it becomes very awkward because he's afraid to ask anybody to dance with him. He then spots a girl at the other side of the room who isn't dancing with anyone and gains enough courage to go ask her.He walks over and asks "would you like to dance?" She responds "Oh would I! Would I!" The kid gives her a snarling look and says "oh, well big nose, big nose!!" And stomps away.


Stupid I know

 

[Darthrazz]

This one takes the cake, keep in mind I was told this joke when i was 5 and have never forgotten it:

What did the dog say after he sat on sand paper? "RUFF"!

 

[Darth Cruel]

There is a bus driver who picks up a lady who speaks no English. She deposited her fare, but the driver did not see it. The driver reminded her "Lady, it is 75 cents to ride the bus."

The lady, understanding his intention by his nod toward the fare box, says to the driver "Ya la puse! Ya la Puse!"

The driver then responds "I don't care what color it is, it still costs 75 cents to ride the bus!"

 

[BuffyGirl]

I only know good dirty jokes. But my fiancee's father is the king of bad jokes.

 

[CriterionCollector]

A father is helping his son with his math homework.

The son says to the Dad, "I need to fin the common denominator."

Dad replies, "I remember looking for that as a kid. I'm surprised they haven't found it yet!"

 

[Devil_666]

Wife: "I dreamt they were auctioning off wieners. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty."

Husband: "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife: "Those they gave away."

Husband: "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off Vajay-jay's. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife: "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband: "Oh, that's where they held the auction."