Stupid jokes
- Thread starter Dr Sam Loomis
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mr.thrifty
Super Freak
A chicken and an egg were lying in bed. The egg is sitting up smoking a cigarette looking awfully smug. The chicken is glaring at the egg from across the bed. Finally, the chicken
blurts out, "At least we know the answer to THAT question!"
blurts out, "At least we know the answer to THAT question!"
fosing
Super Freak
A mouse finds a Viagra and eats it. An hour later he's running around the kitchen going "Where's the ____ing _____?"
uscmhicks
Super Freak
I knew my friend who works on the roads was stealing from work.
When I came home the signs were everywhere.
meth head
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I knew my friend who works on the roads was stealing from work.
When I came home the signs were everywhere.
meth head
Super Freak
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''Rich man and a poor man got the same wedding anniversary, every year they meet on Maddison Avenue when they are out shopping for their wives. So the poor man says to the rich man what did you buy your wife this year? He says I got her a huge diamond ring and a brand new mercedes. Poor man says what did you get her both for? Rich man says if she dont like the diamond ring she can bring it back in the mercedes and still be happy. Rich man says to the poor man what did you get your wife this year? He says I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo. Rich man says what you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo for? Poor man says if she dont like the slippers she can go f___k herself.''
Darth Vader
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lol this is a dumb joke but here goes.
knock knock who's there?
Dr.
Dr. Who?
knock knock who's there?
Dr.
Dr. Who?
Darth Cruel
Super Freak
LOL...the name of the thread is stupid jokes so have no shame. That was a good stupid joke.
Here is one that I, personally, made up.
Q: What do prostitutes and the game "Monopoly" have in common?
A: The both have pay boxes and community chests.
jonny88
Super Freak
Two eskimos are riding their snow mobiles.
The eskimo who is following his sled breaks down,
He says to himself " well l will just waite here, i'm sure my friend in front will realize l fell behind and come look for me soon".
So he grabs a sandwich from his bag and waites.
About half an hour later his friend rides up and says "there you are, what happened did you blow a seal"?
The other eskimo says "no that is just some mayonnaise on my lip".
The eskimo who is following his sled breaks down,
He says to himself " well l will just waite here, i'm sure my friend in front will realize l fell behind and come look for me soon".
So he grabs a sandwich from his bag and waites.
About half an hour later his friend rides up and says "there you are, what happened did you blow a seal"?
The other eskimo says "no that is just some mayonnaise on my lip".
Last edited:
jonny88
Super Freak
There's another one close to that.
A husband walks into the Kitchen were his wife is making dinner.
He says "so this is the pig l have been ____ing".
His wife turns to him and says "that is not a pig under your arm, that's a duck.
The husband says "l wasn't talking to you, l was talking to the duck".
Lejuan
Super Freak
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
They taste funny.
jonny88
Super Freak
I wish guns were like women.
You can trade in a used 44 for a new 22.
Guns are loud, but you can equip them with a silencer.
A gun doesn't take up lots of closet space.
A gun doesn't ask "do these grips make me look fat".
Your gun will stay with you even when you run out of ammo.
If you really like a friends gun he will probably let you try it out a few times.
A gun functions everyday of the month.
These are the only one l remember off the top of my head.
You can trade in a used 44 for a new 22.
Guns are loud, but you can equip them with a silencer.
A gun doesn't take up lots of closet space.
A gun doesn't ask "do these grips make me look fat".
Your gun will stay with you even when you run out of ammo.
If you really like a friends gun he will probably let you try it out a few times.
A gun functions everyday of the month.
These are the only one l remember off the top of my head.
**16k**
Super Freak
Okay, so let's see if humor crosses the cultural barrier...
It's Chrismas Eve and a rich man is driving home. He suddenly sees a man in rags eating grass on the border of the road.
He stops the car car and asks? What are you doing here?
Poor man: I'm eating grass, I'm so hungry and have nothing to buy food!
Rich man: Come on ,I can't leave you here! It's Christmas Eve for Christ's sake. Come to my house!
Poor man: That's so very generous of you! But I can't accept! You see, I have a wife and six kids!I just can't bother you with them too!
Rich man! Nah, don't you worry! Got plenty of grass in my garden!
Another one...
A French guy is an admirer of actress Brigitte Bardot (called BB for short). So, for his birthday, his wife wants to make him a surprise and has "BB" tatooed on each but cheek.
The guy comes home from work and his wife is there, in a nightslip with nothing underneath.
She turns, bend over, spreads her butt cheeks and says: "Surprise!"
The guy watches, dumbfounded, and asks: "Who the ____ is that 'Bob"?"
It's Chrismas Eve and a rich man is driving home. He suddenly sees a man in rags eating grass on the border of the road.
He stops the car car and asks? What are you doing here?
Poor man: I'm eating grass, I'm so hungry and have nothing to buy food!
Rich man: Come on ,I can't leave you here! It's Christmas Eve for Christ's sake. Come to my house!
Poor man: That's so very generous of you! But I can't accept! You see, I have a wife and six kids!I just can't bother you with them too!
Rich man! Nah, don't you worry! Got plenty of grass in my garden!
Another one...
A French guy is an admirer of actress Brigitte Bardot (called BB for short). So, for his birthday, his wife wants to make him a surprise and has "BB" tatooed on each but cheek.
The guy comes home from work and his wife is there, in a nightslip with nothing underneath.
She turns, bend over, spreads her butt cheeks and says: "Surprise!"
The guy watches, dumbfounded, and asks: "Who the ____ is that 'Bob"?"
Devil_666
Super Freak
barryo
Dealer of Death
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes The Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi,
you dumber than buffalo chip. It tell me someone stolen tent."
Some hours later, Tonto wakes The Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi,
you dumber than buffalo chip. It tell me someone stolen tent."
SixMillionDollarMan Guy
Super Freak
^^
jonny88
Super Freak
Darth Cruel
Super Freak
He said cultural barrier, not racial barrier. So you have to call him a culturist and then delete the post.
jonny88
Super Freak
He said cultural barrier, not racial barrier. So you have to call him a culturist and then delete the post.
Well l said cultural jokes in good taste are funny and Nam said those Jokes are racist and said if l laugh at cultural jokes it makes me a racist, but that is coming from a guy who thinks Jay Leno is also a racist.
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