By brunch a-dev be like…
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Speaking of cats.
Long ago, a guy I used to be friends with had a son, who was about 7-8 years old back then. And he had a cat that he inherited from his sister. Mean cat. So in the kitchen, the little boy and the cat were going at it or something. The cat scratched at the kid with it's claw. And he got some meat at least on the hand or arm. Then the kid did a snapping punch and punched the cat in the face. Like a Bruce Lee type of lightening strike. Then the kid and the cat just glared at each other.
Now I love animals. I really do. Am I a cat person? No, not a cat person. But I also understand that some crazy mean cat can actually do some real damage to a little kid. So I thought to myself, "If this cat lunges at this kid again, I might actually have to suplex this cat" Or do the People's Elbow, like The Rock. Something.
Then I thought, what if I have to drive this kid to the hospital, if they fight, and some doctor or some nurses asks me what happened and what happened to the cat. And I say I had to suplex the cat. Then they go into hysterics because they are some kind of wacked out furry activist type. Then I have to start doing some Bruce Lee snap punches to the face to get the kid out of there.
So here's the thing, if I am being fair. The guy I used to be friends with, his son was a little punk. I wouldn't say he was a bad seed kind of kid, like a future Damien from The Omen. But he was definitely a little punk. And this cat should have been cast in Mean Girls, as the meanest of mean. Also a punk. And so I had to wonder if I was essentially watching two little punks find some kind of begrudging mutual respect for each other.
So I'm actually thankful. That the cat didn't go full Logan, and shank the kid in the throat with it's claws. Of course it was interesting that when the cat got punched in the face, that it had this expression like "Why did you do that for?"
And that's why I never got married. Because everyone I know who got married and knew them long enough had that situation. That "look" Like they did something vile or ruthless or just plain mean and then wondered why the other person filed for divorce or kicked them out or separated or moved out, etc, etc. "Why did you do that for?"
Do I ever say "What did you do that for?" Really only in one instance. When people send a Xmas card, and inside it is a printout with an itemized list of what the family has achieved that year. We just bought a new house! Junior did great in the 4th grade! I won the official Scott Tenorman Chili Cookoff! And I think to myself, why did you send this to me? This canned photo op in a picture where this nuclear family is grinning like Dirk Diggler on coke. Why did you send me this updated resume style Xmas card / letter / checklist? What did you do that for?
Is the Mandalorian a cat person? Or a dog person? Would he suplex a cat to save Grogu?
Maybe that's how Mandalore got wiped out. Maybe Bo Katan sent a Xmas card with this arrogant schmaltzy checklist update, and then someone like Moff Gideon said, 'What did you do that for? Let's carpet bomb that place!'
What if Mando sent an update Xmas card to people? And talked about how he registered on Plenty Of Fish. And the struggles of dating as a single dad who is also a bounty hunter who likes long walks on the beach. Well endless sand dunes of Tattooine. And he says, "Please no cat people. Also no Sullustians. Thanks." If I was Sullustian, I might be offended. This guy will suck face with a smoker, but not a bona fide high value charming Sullustian?
What were we all talking about again?
