Unconditional love, is it real?

[YoNoSe]

Well, it all depends on your definition. What you may say are many kinds of love I wouldn't consider love at all.
If your attitude is "I'll love you unless..." then, IMO, you're saying "I enjoy being with you while you behave the way I want you to."
I wouldn't put "all things love" into one category. I would say there are many things and categories that people call "love" that actually aren't.

 

[pixletwin]

Well for you personally Rory, I believe you have exceptional circumstances and I believe it may be easier in order to feel unconditional love for someone you have to have been unconditionally loved by someone else.

Again, Unconditional love does not equate to permissive attitudes.

 

[Voorhees27]

It absolutely is imo. I know this because I have always had people in my life that "should" have moved on during my tough times but they didn't. I can name plenty of people too, the human heart is truly a remarkable thing.

 

[El Roranous]

To those that don't think unconditional love exists, consider this...

Lionel Dahmer, father of a boy by the name of Jeffery loved his son all the way up until the end.

Each side could bring up case after case to prove their own points though. I can definitely understand the way you feel however, this may be just as pix said-more of a to each their own thing.

I don't believe that it's a negative decision either way.

As long as it's a choice, it's a good thing.

 

[pixletwin]

I think a relationship with unconditional love is much richer than one without.

 

[wofford29]

Each side could bring up case after case to prove their own points though. I can definitely understand the way you feel however, this may be just as pix said-more of a to each their own thing.

I don't believe that it's a negative decision either way.

As long as it's a choice, it's a good thing.

But its not a matter of if each side can bring up a case. If only one case of unconditional love exists its the answer to the topic of the thread.

 

[Bannister]

But its not a matter of if each side can bring up a case. If only one case of unconditional love exists its the answer to the topic of the thread.

 

[El Roranous]

Part of my mind is focusing on the idea of love, it's already such a convoluted feeling- well at least for me. The world is so gray and nothing is ever just black and white. This is why even if I did believe that unconditional love could exist, it would be flawed. I kind of view unconditional love as the "perfect" love. It can't be altered or broken, it is in essence black and white.

This is where I am coming from. Humans in my opinion are definitely not perfect. Even if we think we are, there is so much hidden from ourselves, by ourselves. To believe in perfect love is to believe that we are capable of perfection and I just honestly don't believe perfection really exists.

But obviously, all will vary. Your religion, of which I don't really have could definitely impact your way of thinking on this subject.

 

[The ill Jedi]

I think a relationship with unconditional love is much richer than one without.

No doubt! You can always be yourself, laugh uncontrollably or cry like a baby, behave like a fool or be a total bore and you will still be loved.

 

[Bannister]

Part of my mind is focusing on the idea of love, it's already such a convoluted feeling- well at least for me. The world is so gray and nothing is ever just black and white. This is why even if I did believe that unconditional love could exist, it would be flawed. I kind of view unconditional love as the "perfect" love. It can't be altered or broken, it is in essence black and white.

This is where I am coming from. Humans in my opinion are definitely not perfect. Even if we think we are, there is so much hidden from ourselves, by ourselves. To believe in perfect love is to believe that we are capable of perfection and I just honestly don't believe perfection really exists.

But obviously, all will vary. Your religion, of which I don't really have could definitely impact your way of thinking on this subject.

Just go talk to shrink already. Quit trying to get free therapy here.

 

[The ill Jedi]

But its not a matter of if each side can bring up a case. If only one case of unconditional love exists its the answer to the topic of the thread.

Bingo!! :chew

 

[El Roranous]

But its not a matter of if each side can bring up a case. If only one case of unconditional love exists its the answer to the topic of the thread.

Not really since all cases are subjective to the perceiver and not the subjects. What is true for one, might be a lie for another. If you aren't the person impacted, how can you tell what is?

 

[pixletwin]

Just go talk to shrink already. Quit trying to get free therapy here.

 

[Kabukiman]

Lionel Dahmer, father of a boy by the name of Jeffery loved his son all the way up until the end.

Do you also believe that children unconditionally love their parents?

I really don't know how to answer that. You just broke my brain. I'll have to reboot and get back to you on that. The original question was "Is unconditional love real?" and I can answer that easily because, I myself, experience it. The question you pose requires getting into the head of others and much more philosophical thought.

 

[El Roranous]

No doubt! You can always be yourself, laugh uncontrollably or cry like a baby, behave like a fool or be a total bore and you will still be loved.

Could you slit the throat of one of your loved one's loved ones? Could you say the most hurtful thing you could possibly conjure up to their face and truly mean it? Could you completely change and lose touch with all that you once had in common? Could all of this happen and their love and your love would still be the same?

Just sayin, it's not all giggles and puppies.

 

[wofford29]

Not really since all cases are subjective to the perceiver and not the subjects. What is true for one, might be a lie for another. If you aren't the person impacted, how can you tell what is?

Then I would say the perceiver has an entire set of different issues that don't involve love. Truth for one whether excepted by one or all is still truth to someone and therefore exists.

 

[pixletwin]

Man Rory, you have had a screwed up life.

 

[galactiboy]

I think the definition of what unconditional love really means is important to look at. To many that equates to an almost an unchanging level of love and positive regard for someone no matter what it is they are doing, have done or will do in the future. Honestly its a pretty unrealistic expectation and fairly foolish.

People, situations and everything changes. I think that one can still have genuine concern, interest and even some measure of love in the face of many issues, but that is not to say that they may or may not love them less. Kind of like that old cliche, "I love with them, I'm just not in love with them".

As a therapist I see a lot of people struggle with not loving their parents and feeling guilty or ashamed, or struggling because they still love their parents (to some extent) even though they may be toxic to one another. My belief in that is that you really can't control who in your life you are attracted to or have concern for so its better to get an understanding of some of the "whys" involved and help to normalize the conflict and to figure out what is the healthiest balance for the client. Its not uncommon to have a conflicting approach and avoidance feelings with those we "should" consider loved ones.

 

[El Roranous]

Just go talk to shrink already. Quit trying to get free therapy here.

Your mind is incredibly closed off. You are hostile. No matter how many smiley faces you put after your text, your true intentions show through. If you dislike my threads and my comments there is a block feature that you can use. Also, you don't have to come into these threads and add comments if you feel as you do. It's a choice you can make for yourself.

I don't harbor any resentment towards you but please just chill out man. I am just trying to have a meaningful discussion.

 

[Bannister]

Then I would say the perceiver has an entire set of different issues that don't involve love.

I already knew that the perceiver(Rory) was ^^^^ed up. He just needs some unconditional love and he will be fine. We all love you Rory, unconditionally. I don't care how broken, sad, and pathetic you are, I still love you. Make no mistake, you are all these things and I still love you. You're welcome.