What's the point of Marriage?

[customizerwannabe]

My wife was fat before I married her and she's still fat so... My kids are the love of my life though. The best thing that ever has or will happen to me. Rory likes to stir ^^^^ even more than me!

 

[El Roranous]

Let's take a poll and see, shall we? I am willing to bet the vast majority of people in this thread married for love and no other reason.

As to your misunderstanding of the difference between contracts and licenses, well, I can only assume you don't drive.

What people admit and what people really think are two completely different things sometimes.

I am willing to bet a lot of people here married due to societal obligation, having children, or some other reason. Love is just one small factor in a sea of other random variables. The thought of marring only for love is way too simplistic and highly unlikely. We are all complicated beings that are capable of more than one emotion or reason for doing things.

You are a female aren't you. Your romantic view of marriage gives you away I think. If you sign up to get married- you are legally bound at that point. That is a contract that must be fulfilled and carries penalties if broken.


For your reference-
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/contract
1 a: a binding agreement between two or more persons or parties; especially : one legally enforceable b: a business arrangement for the


Sounds a lot like stepping into a marriage. I don't see love mentioned in the legal documentation of marriage. To get married you must either legally be married or religiously be married. If you do it with the latter boy you better believe God has a contract on your union.

 

[El Roranous]

My wife was fat before I married her and she's still fat so... My kids are the love of my life though. The best thing that ever has or will happen to me. Rory likes to stir ^^^^ even more than me!

Great post Ed, seriously.

 

[El Roranous]

Marriage defined!!!!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marriage

1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>


Oh snap. I see the word contractual involved but nothing regarding love.

 

[Hew]

A definition = class + differentials

Probably love was left out 'cause it's more abstract.

You don't have to be married to be in love, IMO

 

[Eli26]

Marriage defined!!!!



1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>


Oh snap. I see the word contractual involved but nothing regarding love.

You don't need a certificate/license to tell you that you're in love with your partner. I think marriage is superficial. You need no piece of paper telling other's that's your woman or your man. People know real love when they see it. Appearance and how people project themselves towards their loved ones is the real deal when it comes to validation of love.

You can be in a loveless marriage. Love and marriage are separate things IMO. Marriage is just a contract that legally binds two people together. I am not for or against marriage, but to me... love is a thing all to its own. I am referring unconditional love for another human being, that isn't platonic... the love which makes your heart skip a beat or two when you see that special someone. That kind of love that makes you do anything and everything for that person.

That last paragraph was brought to you by the kind people of HALLMARK.

 

[barbelith]

What people admit and what people really think are two completely different things sometimes.

Why bother starting this thread if you're not going to take what people say at face value?

If you sign up to get married- you are legally bound at that point. That is a contract that must be fulfilled and carries penalties if broken.

The state provides a license for marriage. It is not a contract and includes no obligations or penalties. The only other time the state is involved is in the separation of assets and designation of childcare in the event of a hostile divorce. The license conveys on its holders a series of privileges - just like a driver's license. In fact this is why it is called a license! The state is licensing you a privilege (a line of inheritance, the ability to drive a car etc)!

 

[Adoptedscot]

Well, as much as you dislike the notion of marriage etc pal, you should consider yourself lucky that should you choose to get married, you can.
Some of us don't even have that option.
x

 

[Eli26]

Well, as much as you dislike the notion of marriage etc pal, you should consider yourself lucky that should you choose to get married, you can.
Some of us don't even have that option.
x

Get married in Canada Scot. We allow same sex marriage here.

 

[El Roranous]

Why bother starting this thread if you're not going to take what people say at face value?



The state provides a license for marriage. It is not a contract and includes no obligations or penalties. The only other time the state is involved is in the separation of assets and designation of childcare in the event of a hostile divorce. The license conveys on its holders a series of privileges - just like a driver's license. In fact this is why it is called a license! The state is licensing you a privilege (a line of inheritance, the ability to drive a car etc)!

You are contracted to take a drug test if suspected of driving intoxicated. Holding that license contracts you and binds you to obey the laws of the road and to submit your car for registration and inspection. You are legally bound to having to pay your fees, such as registration or tickets. If you hold a license it sure sounds like a contract to me.

Same with marriage. You get married and if it ends, then they can hold you to the letter of the law, same as with a contract. You can't just walk away without penalty, just like driving a car and doing something illegal.

I am listening to what you have to say but debating on your points. That's a discussion in my opinion.

 

[Eli26]

By the way, Rory is a nice person, but he is the King of stirring up the pot. If people play along, it gives him that high. Don't give him that high people. Just pretend he doesn't exist.

Wow, making fun of Rory is taking my mind off of the loss of Moses.

You are good for something after all Rory! Thanks!

 

[SKARY]

I met my ONE and one thing I love is it's not about money and personal items with her it's so much more. Your still young and your whole world view on marriage will change once you meet your ONE. We just found out we are having our first child and I am looking to pop the question to her in the fall.

 

[El Roranous]

Well, as much as you dislike the notion of marriage etc pal, you should consider yourself lucky that should you choose to get married, you can.
Some of us don't even have that option.
x

Believe me when I say I wish any one who wanted to get married could. It's not fair but tradition is stopping some people from getting married as well. You should be allowed to sign that contract that entitles you to certain things if you so wish.

 

[El Roranous]

By the way, Rory is a nice person, but he is the King of stirring up the pot. If people play along, it gives him that high. Don't give him that high people. Just pretend he doesn't exist.

Wow, making fun of Rory is taking my mind off of the loss of Moses.

You are good for something after all Rory! Thanks!

Man, that kind of hurts bro....

 

[Eli26]

Man, that kind of hurts bro....

Nah, I liked your PMs. You actually got me off the computer yesterday. I thank you for that. I just had to get my mind off of my brother, but at the same time, I was disallowing myself to be apart of his company. Man, I miss him so much. I even woke up today hearing his meows. Or so I thought I did. Not making it up. Maybe I am so used to him meowing in the morning I wanted to hear that.

 

[El Roranous]

I met my ONE and one thing I love is it's not about money and personal items with her it's so much more. Your still young and your whole world view on marriage will change once you meet your ONE. We just found out we are having our first child and I am looking to pop the question to her in the fall.

See, I don't buy this argument. Why isn't my GF the one? Because she doesn't make me want to get married and have children? Isn't that the logic in that argument?

I have been with her for 8 years now and I couldn't be happier. She thinks as I do and we get along so well. Why do I have to want to marry someone? Why can't I believe that marriage is unnatural without hearing I am young and will change my mind?


This post isn't necessarily directed at you Skary, just to all. I don't understand why so much emphasis is put on age and not experience.

 

[barbelith]

You are contracted to take a drug test if suspected of driving intoxicated. Holding that license contracts you and binds you to obey the laws of the road and to submit your car for registration and inspection. You are legally bound to having to pay your fees, such as registration or tickets.

Not everything you say here is true, but let's focus on the gist of your argument. I'd like you to try to define a license in your own words, because you seem to think a license cannot include any concessions or agreements in exchange for the privilege of holding the license.

You get married and if it ends, then they can hold you to the letter of the law, same as with a contract. You can't just walk away without penalty, just like driving a car and doing something illegal.

There are no legal penalties for ending marriage. There is a licensed framework for separating assets (in fact the recent prevalence of the 50:50 split is specifically to avoid the perception of unfair penalties in asset allocation). Parenthood is a separate issue and unmarried parents are equally legally obligated to their offspring as married parents.

I've started a poll for our married members. Let's see how it shakes out, and whether you are man enough to modify your view should the results not conform to your previously stated view of marriage.

 

[Eli26]

This post isn't necessarily directed at you Skary, just to all. I don't understand why so much emphasis is put on age and not experience.

Whether you agree with Rory or not, he makes a very valid point. Age has nothing to do with it. I seen a 20-year-old who is much more mature than a 47-year-old. It all comes down to each individual, their life experiences, and how they see things. Didn't a wise man or woman once say, age is just a number? Where have we heard that line from?

 

[barbelith]

See, I don't buy this argument. Why isn't my GF the one? Because she doesn't make me want to get married and have children?

You've already said you'd walk away if she pushed marriage. By definition you do not love her unconditionally and I think it's probably fair to suggest she's not really the one after all in that case.

 

[El Roranous]

Not everything you say here is true, but let's focus on the gist of your argument. I'd like you to try to define a license in your own words, because you seem to think a license cannot include any concessions or agreements in exchange for the privilege of holding the license.



There are no legal penalties for ending marriage. There is a licensed framework for separating assets (in fact the recent prevalence of the 50:50 split is specifically to avoid the perception of unfair penalties in asset allocation). Parenthood is a separate issue and unmarried parents are equally legally obligated to their offspring as married parents.

I've started a poll for our married members. Let's see how it shakes out, and whether you are man enough to modify your view should the results not conform to your previously stated view of marriage.

A poll really won't prove who is right or wrong in such an argument? There are way too many extraneous variables that can't be accounted for. Some people will never admit even to themselves that they married for other reasons then love. Psychologically and scientifically speaking, your poll can not accurately measure or record the actual truth in the matter.