Anyone ever have to relocate because of their spouse?

[The Craw]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

my spouse went all psycho on me and i had to relocate and change my name and everything. so yes i had to relocate cuz of my spouse? that was the question right?

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

I think it's because alot of people have read the other thread and know alot of what he's been through with this girl before.

Personally, I think he'll drop out of school and move back.

I love proving people wrong

 

[The Ween]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

I love proving people wrong

I hope you do, but it's ____ or get off the pot time. Either you move back or you break up. She's given you the ultimatum in black and white.

 

[Darth Snoopy]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

You need to dump her and go find the girl wearing this shirt...

​

 

[Vader AL]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

You need to break up with this girl once and for all, move on, don't look back and don't get all wrapped up in a relationship until you're out of college.

This girl is what is holding you back from growing into a "man". she represents your home town and your formitave/younger years. you had the courage to leave the safety of all that and go out on your own, but she obiviously lacks that ability to do that.

You keep asking for advise but fail in following it. (you've heard the saying?)..."if I only knew now what I knew then"? it's hard to do but, listen...

You know the situtation is F'd up, you knew it before and you know it now; but instead of breaking free you grabed hold of it even tighter and proposed...

It's time to cut the ties and move on. trust me... in a few years you will look back and say to yourself... "WTF was I thiking".

Do what you will......

I concur.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Well thanks again for all the advice peeps....

A final fork in the road was for sure on the horizon..... But you'd think that folks that were about to get engaged would act civil towards each other.... Apparently not...... If a man wanted to share his life with you, it's not right to treat him as if he physically beat your face in....

 

[The Ween]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?



Thank you Ween...... I know I've heard it before, but to see this was not only funny but a good literal translation of everything. Just reinforces it

 

[mr.thrifty]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Well thanks again for all the advice peeps....

A final fork in the road was for sure on the horizon..... But you'd think that folks that were about to get engaged would act civil towards each other.... Apparently not...... If a man wanted to share his life with you, it's not right to treat him as if he physically beat your face in....

So what your trying to say is .. "thank you Thrifty"

Sounds like she finally showed you the "real" her.

 

[Skiman]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

and Skidawg U DA MAN and always be DA MAN!!!!

 

[devilof76]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Thank you Ween...... I know I've heard it before, but to see this was not only funny but a good literal translation of everything. Just reinforces it

So what happened?

 

[bran-chan]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Any true wife would follow their spouse when their goals are meant to include BOTH parties. And especially when the wife doesn't have any career goals to aspire to.... If she's just dwindling in the wind, why fight the current?

I'm going to disagree with you on that. I'm a "true" wife to my husband
and I wouldn't necessarily follow him if he got a wild hair up his ass and wanted to make a big change like moving to another state. It sounds like neither one of you know how to talk and hear each other when the other speaks. It's all about finding that compromise that's crucial in a relationship. Quite honestly alot of people in this thread are right when they say you both aren't ready for marriage. You can't even decide on where to live, I couldn't imagine the two of you deciding even bigger things like budgets or how to raise kids.

Finish school, see if you still like California and more importantly if you make a living there and just take it one step at a time.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

So what happened?

Well, everyone here will most likely relate to my feelings on this..

Basically the conversation was just closure for me so I could move on. But when an insecure girl is on her high horse from getting all the "pep talks" from her friends, it's just pretty hurtful when they act like they give two craps about you..... and you JUST recently wanted to marry this girl..... And now they're treating you like dirt all because of arguing about where to spend your married life together?!?!

Anyhow, the real kicker was this...... I sold a good chunk of my collection, and some VERY dear items to me in order to fund a ring. One of the items sold was my Master Replicas Darth Vader SE helmet signed by Hayden. I spent $1200 on that and waited over a year..... And lost a TON of money when I sold it....And what was her response??? "Well, I don't appreciate you rubbing that in my face.... I didn't make you sell those things. Now that you have money go buy those statues back. You could've bought me the ring by financing it....." and the ULTIMATE kicker..... "why do I need to give you credit for sacrificing your cherished belongings just to buy me a ring?................"

Are you kidding?!?!?! I'm sure any collector here could agree that it's a pretty big sacrifice to give up things they've worked hard to get and valued a lot..... All just to show your love for a woman. And now they throw it back in your face and don't care that you gave it up?!?!

Basically, that ended the conversation with me telling her where to go and how to get there......

So what your trying to say is .. "thank you Thrifty"

Sounds like she finally showed you the "real" her.

Yeah, you've given great and wise advice. So thanks for that..... Yes, her true side came out.... She just always likes to portray herself as a martyr and a saint in the eyes of the public. I hate people like that..... She can never admit ANY of her faults. Now I know I want someone to ADMIT when they're wrong. It'll make me respect them more....

and Skidawg U DA MAN and always be DA MAN!!!!

I'm going to disagree with you on that. I'm a "true" wife to my husband
and I wouldn't necessarily follow him if he got a wild hair up his ass and wanted to make a big change like moving to another state. It sounds like neither one of you know how to talk and hear each other when the other speaks. It's all about finding that compromise that's crucial in a relationship. Quite honestly alot of people in this thread are right when they say you both aren't ready for marriage. You can't even decide on where to live, I couldn't imagine the two of you deciding even bigger things like budgets or how to raise kids.

Finish school, see if you still like California and more importantly if you make a living there and just take it one step at a time.

Yeah.... We've never had GREAT communication. It's not that I suddenly got this urge. I've been in Cali for over a year now. But just the fact that we can't even discuss this just shows what's to come down the road.....

 

[-Super Hans-]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

This girl sounds like an immature drama queen. Drop that zero and get yourself a hero

 

[Bamboota]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

OMG....Seriously. It seems to me that you have an on and off relationship with this women. I mean....I can't believe she was ungrateful when u told her about ur collectibles. I mean....u need to be with a women that understands ur hobby not treat like a joke. I'm not saying that ur completely innocent too..u know...maybe there's things that she can't relate with you...but still..... I dunno....I'm just upset of how big of a ____ this girl is.

All I'm asking is that you do not return to this girl....it' doesn't sound like you guys would last very long anywayz IMO....and besides u need to stay in LA and follow ur dream.

I'm telling u all this as a friend.

 

[The Ween]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

Well, everyone here will most likely relate to my feelings on this..

Basically the conversation was just closure for me so I could move on. But when an insecure girl is on her high horse from getting all the "pep talks" from her friends, it's just pretty hurtful when they act like they give two craps about you..... and you JUST recently wanted to marry this girl..... And now they're treating you like dirt all because of arguing about where to spend your married life together?!?!

Anyhow, the real kicker was this...... I sold a good chunk of my collection, and some VERY dear items to me in order to fund a ring. One of the items sold was my Master Replicas Darth Vader SE helmet signed by Hayden. I spent $1200 on that and waited over a year..... And lost a TON of money when I sold it....And what was her response??? "Well, I don't appreciate you rubbing that in my face.... I didn't make you sell those things. Now that you have money go buy those statues back. You could've bought me the ring by financing it....." and the ULTIMATE kicker..... "why do I need to give you credit for sacrificing your cherished belongings just to buy me a ring?................"

Are you kidding?!?!?! I'm sure any collector here could agree that it's a pretty big sacrifice to give up things they've worked hard to get and valued a lot..... All just to show your love for a woman. And now they throw it back in your face and don't care that you gave it up?!?!

Basically, that ended the conversation with me telling her where to go and how to get there......





Yeah, you've given great and wise advice. So thanks for that..... Yes, her true side came out.... She just always likes to portray herself as a martyr and a saint in the eyes of the public. I hate people like that..... She can never admit ANY of her faults. Now I know I want someone to ADMIT when they're wrong. It'll make me respect them more....









Yeah.... We've never had GREAT communication. It's not that I suddenly got this urge. I've been in Cali for over a year now. But just the fact that we can't even discuss this just shows what's to come down the road.....

Though I don't think you should be with this girl anymore, I have to wonder how it was brought up about you selling your collectibles, etc. Did you have regrets about it and showed it?

Anyway, communication is the key. If you don't have it, you never will. Take your ball (ring) and go home.

Best wishes to you!

 

[The Ween]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

This girl sounds like an immature drama queen. Drop that zero and get yourself a hero

Stop flirting, Slug!

 

[nash]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

You'll be back with this girl and create another thread about it before we know it.

 

[316what]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

See, that's what I'm talking about right there! That longing and knowing you're about to get some!



Hey, I got hands! And toys....

But do the toys convulse and throw up when shaken violently?

 

[316what]

Re: Anyone ever have to relocate becuase of their spouse?

I'm a little surprised by all the "if she can't do this for you then dump her" messages. Relationships are just that, a relationship between two people, it's not a dictatorship. I wonder if there is another internet message board somewhere with Chris' girlfriend asking a similar questions and getting responses like "well he should make this sacrifice for you and stay home, dump him."

edit: I just noticed the "another thread" in the original post. Sounds like there is more to the story than what is presented here...

I agree completely. People can be extremely cavalier with "dump her" advice when the relationship isn't theirs to lose. I wonder how many of the "dump her ass" crowd have actually participated in marriages that lasted very long at all.

Compromise is necessary ... and you cannot expect her to give and you to take every time. If she's worth marrying, she's worth moving to Flordia for ... if not, so be it.

SnakeDoc

Most of the "cavalier" responses were due to the previous threads.