(FLOSI'S Cantina) "Where everybody knows your name..."

[Kenbenobi]

And I should hope you don't have a v down there.

I knew SOMEBODY was gonna say that!

 

[Avfin]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WALLER


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[ZE_501]

And happy V-Day to everyone else! Personally, today is a depressing day, since I have no V. The one I've been working on is likely a futile effort. She won't leave her boyfriend, even though they've only been dating a few months. She's known him for years. His last wife died. He'd probably kill himself if she left him...

Not that it's any of my business but I'm gonna remark on it anyway because Internet...LOL...I would stay the hell away from situations like that. I mean...what are the chances of it working out in your favour? The woman is literally with someone else, and even if she ends it,
he's not going away and neither is the emotional fallout on her end.

It's just a bad situation. Better to find someone who actually has some space in their life situation than trying to *make* something fit, IMO. Not that I'm judging or anything -- it's just that from a purely strategic point of view this isn't a successful scenario.

I've seen dudes and dudettes do this and it never ends well.

I get that I don't know the whole story or if anything's transpired between you two, but man...she's encumbered and will be for a long time, one way or the other, am I right?

I'm not saying you don't know what's up, you basically said as much in your post...but when faced with those situations (and we all are, at some point) I've learned to turn around, and walk away without looking back. If you need to "work on" something that soon it's often ******ed.

Maybe I'm just jaded.

 

[mfoga]

www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/...ord-has-jet-run-in-at-california-airport.html

well I think have proof that Chewy is the one really flew the Falcon.

 

[Kenbenobi]

Not that it's any of my business but I'm gonna remark on it anyway because Internet...LOL...I would stay the hell away from situations like that. I mean...what are the chances of it working out in your favour? The woman is literally with someone else, and even if she ends it,
he's not going away and neither is the emotional fallout on her end.

It's just a bad situation. Better to find someone who actually has some space in their life situation than trying to *make* something fit, IMO. Not that I'm judging or anything -- it's just that from a purely strategic point of view this isn't a successful scenario.

I've seen dudes and dudettes do this and it never ends well.

I get that I don't know the whole story or if anything's transpired between you two, but man...she's encumbered and will be for a long time, one way or the other, am I right?

I'm not saying you don't know what's up, you basically said as much in your post...but when faced with those situations (and we all are, at some point) I've learned to turn around, and walk away without looking back. If you need to "work on" something that soon it's often ******ed.

Maybe I'm just jaded.

I hear ya. And believe me, I know you're right. But she literally seems to be the most perfect woman for me. And I don't mean she's super hot or anything ridiculously out of my league. We have a LOT in common, and can talk for hours without even realizing how much time has passed. I cannot imagine finding anyone else more perfect. BUT I realize that everything you said is very likely true. So I'm not trying to convince her to leave the other guy. I never even mention him when I talk to her. Right now, we're just close friends. I feel that I'm better with her in my life. IF she leaves the other guy, I'll quickly try to step up to the plate. If she doesn't, well, then we'll stay friends. At least, that's where my mindset is.

 

[Boba Ben]

I'm in a similar situation, Kenben. There's a young lady that I've developed some pretty warm feelings for over the past year or so, but she has a long-term boyfriend. In fact, he's the only boyfriend she's ever had. She's 25 and they've been together for like 9 years, so they're probably going to get married. Anyway, I've been of the same mindset as you mention here about it. I just enjoy being her friend and the time I get to spend with her. Whenever we hang out, we'll spend four or five hours just talking and she's shared some very personal stories about her life with me and I don't feel uncomfortable at all with her, which is something I struggle with when it comes to women. She's also hinted and outright stated that she is unsure if things will work out between them and that her family doesn't like him and she doesn't like his family either. I've witnessed specific examples of him being selfish and unsupportive to her along with the stories she's told me that back this up as well. She chooses to stay with him, though, so I respect her choice.

My thought on the issue is that if she was my girlfriend and some guy tried to steal her away, I'd be pretty pissed off, and knowing her character, she wouldn't be very happy about me trying to do something like that either. Additionally, I've had a lot of really horrible experiences with women which have made it very difficult for me to pursue women confidently and I've never really had a girlfriend or anything, so that's made me super sensitive and empathetic to other people's relationships as I've never been able to find anything like that in my life. I figure if she decides on her own to end the relationship, I won't really feel bad for him and I'll likely tell her how I feel about her if it feels right, but if she stays with him, I have to respect it and hope that she's happy. If something comes along in the meantime that's more available to me, I might pursue that too. Not counting on it, though.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I kind of know how you feel, Kenben. I wish it were easier, but you're a good dude and I hope you find somebody, whether it's someone else or an opportunity arises with this one.

 

[Boba Ben]

And, your friendship with her and any romantic relationship you might have with her in the future will better for it if you respect her current relationship and don't try to break it up. I think it builds trust and shows that you respect her choices. I've never had anybody though, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

 

[FLOSI]

KenBen, best to you... You'll be in my thoughts, my friend.

As for the "girls with boyfriends" thing, drop it, guys.... move on. You're simply engaging in a distraction. There's very little to no real opportunity there, which might well be the reason you're entertaining it, as there's no real risk. If you really wanted a relationship you would be searching it out in all kinds of different avenues.

Just my two cents…. It took me over two years to get my mind and heart ready to date again, but once I was there it just happened. If you’re not truly putting out effort to find someone you may well not be wanting to in the first place… if that’s the case just focus on yourself.

 

[Kenbenobi]

And, your friendship with her and any romantic relationship you might have with her in the future will better for it if you respect her current relationship and don't try to break it up. I think it builds trust and shows that you respect her choices. I've never had anybody though, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

KenBen, best to you... You'll be in my thoughts, my friend.

As for the "girls with boyfriends" thing, drop it, guys.... move on. You're simply engaging in a distraction. There's very little to no real opportunity there, which might well be the reason you're entertaining it, as there's no real risk. If you really wanted a relationship you would be searching it out in all kinds of different avenues.

Just my two cents…. It took me over two years to get my mind and heart ready to date again, but once I was there it just happened. If you’re not truly putting out effort to find someone you may well not be wanting to in the first place… if that’s the case just focus on yourself.

Good points, guys. I will try to convince myself to stop pursuing the impossible. The sucky part is they started dating basically the exact same week I met her. I don't know which happened first, but it was within a few days. It just bothers me thinking that if I had asked her out first, perhaps I wouldn't be in this debacle...


Anyway, moving on to other non-pleasant topics... I got my blood results back. Everything was negative. So I don't have any horrible auto-immune disease, but they still don't know what I have, and at this point, they have no ideas on what else to test for. They said I should make a follow-up appointment in a few months, to see if anything looks worse. So for now, I just have to put up with the throat issue, like I have been for the last 4-5 months...

 

[TonTon]

Sucks they can't track it down but that's good to hear it's nothing horrible!

 

[jffhdgs345]

Yeah glad it's nothing awful man but I hope they figure out whats up.

 

[Mad Old Lu]

Glad they ruled out the auto-immune stuff, Kenben! Sorry you still have to deal with figuring out what's wrong. The older I get, the more I see how frustrating doctors and the medical profession can be in trying to figure out what's wrong. Unfortunately there's no real-life House out there. Honestly, I've seen so many doctors (dealing with different family members) act dismissive, or simply not try very hard and give up after their one "guess".

Also to chime in about your lady-troubles, I'll also reiterate to cut your losses. I've wasted so much time pursuing women who were either attached or just stringing me along. And that's all it ever was--a waste of time, when I could have been looking for better options. I know it feels like you'll never find anyone who is a better match, but trust me you will. Just focus on yourself and your real friends and family for now. The love stuff will happen eventually.

 

[Kenbenobi]

^ Thanks, Lu. Yeah, I'm sure you guys are all right... There was a point a few weeks ago where she said she thinks she's too old to have a baby (she'll be 36 in a few months). I told her how my sister just had a baby at age 48, so she's definitely not too old. I then offered to prove it, by trying to put a baby in her...

OK, fine, that last sentence isn't true, but that is what I was thinking at the time!

 

[Aliaz]

OK, fine, that last sentence isn't true, but that is what I was thinking at the time!

 

[Avfin]

^ Thanks, Lu. Yeah, I'm sure you guys are all right... There was a point a few weeks ago where she said she thinks she's too old to have a baby (she'll be 36 in a few months). I told her how my sister just had a baby at age 48, so she's definitely not too old. I then offered to prove it, by trying to put my baby ***** in her...

OK, fine, that last sentence isn't true, but that is what I was thinking at the time!

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[furystorm]

I'd guess Ken has cooties, but that's highly unlikely, since he never gets the V...

 

[TurdFurgusonsHat]

 

[mfoga]

Did they gets for yellow Fever? I mean you were pretty yellow last time I saw you

 

[Darth Waller]

Some ****ing tool on eBay purchased a sealed vinyl record from me and submitted a return request because there was a scratch on it.

 

[mfoga]

Do you say you accept returns? I guess next time you put in the description that it's factory sealed and not responsible for any unknown damage.