Kids Say the Darndest Things

[thenammagazine]

Oh noes teh waterboarding!!!

Beats getting your head sawed off.

I've been waterboarded. It's not a very pleasurable experience. It works though!

That wasn't meant as any slam to anything bud. I actually believe in those types of interrogation methods. I also think that while those tulip tiptoeing methods work, matching the enemy's brutality would get us a hell of a lot farther.

 

[devilof76]

I wasn't taking it as one. I have a bit of excess lip to work out since I quit smoking, so if I'm firing off more unsolicited opinion than usual, take it with a grain of salt.

 

[thenammagazine]

I wasn't taking it as one. I have a bit of excess lip to work out since I quit smoking, so if I'm firing off more unsolicited opinion than usual, take it with a grain of salt.

I'm tellin ya man, get some Dum Dums.

And that wasn't for you per say. I just didn't want anybody else going on a tangent about it and getting the thread closed with political diarrhea.

 

[devilof76]

I'm tellin ya man, get some Dum Dums.

My brain doesn't know what to do with all of this oxygen. I have to do something before my head spontaneously combusts.

 

[thenammagazine]

My brain doesn't know what to do with all of this oxygen. I have to do something before my head spontaneously combusts.

7-11?

 

[toylion]

The other day, I was showing my daughter (3 years old) my 1/6 figures and called them "action figures."

She looked straight at me and said "Those aren't action figures! Those are dolls!"

Out of the mouth of babes. Reminds me of the Emperor's new Clothes. Only the children would cry out the truth

 

[devilof76]

7-11?

____ no. They sell cigarettes.

On topic, I think it's the darnedest thing that my niece has completely failed to notice that I'm not smoking. Sometimes, it's the things they don't say.

 

[AllisonAmy]

My kids just ran through the house with their school backpacks on and their toy airsoft guns chasing the cat, which had a toy backpack tied to it...and the kids were screaming about catching the suicide bomber before it was too late.

That is hilarious.

 

[Darth Cruel]

We are having a thunderstorm today. And being a very dry area, we have a few fires started by lightning. One just two streets south of us, and a pretty major one to the west of us.

My kids saw that there are 5-6 helicopter tankers fighting the fire and two airplane tankers.

I walked out front and the kids were running the garden hose. I asked them why and they told me they thought the tankers were having a hard time finding water and they wanted them to see the water from the hose so they would be able to get water to fight the fire from us.

At least their hearts are in the right place even if they don't quite grasp the concept yet.

 

[AllisonAmy]

My five year old took her kindergarten placement test, today. My four year old asked her, "Can you read, now?"

 

[Darth Cruel]

My five year old took her kindergarten placement test, today. My four year old asked her, "Can you read, now?"

LOL...Good stuff!

 

[AllisonAmy]

The four year old at breakfast, today: "I'm retiring."

 

[Darth Cruel]

The four year old at breakfast, today: "I'm retiring."

LOL...nothing like being ahead of the game!

 

[AllisonAmy]

She meant she was getting tired, again.

 

[Doctor Who]

I was babysitting this morning and me and the 4 year old twins were talking about Harry Potter. They were talking that they're like Fred and George and suddenly one of them pulled on the others ear saying "You can't have that!" and I laughed my ass off. Later, one of them realizes that SPOILER ALERT Fred dies and he hugged his brother and said "You can't die, I still need you." and it was the cutest thing ever.

 

[AllisonAmy]

The 4 year old asked what terrified meant. I said when you are terrified, that means you are really, really scared. She said she was terrified today because she watched a haunted Wonder Pets and it was really, really haunted.

 

[Doctor Who]

Today I was babysitting again on a 5 year old girl, we watched some light horror-y movies because it was halloween (some halloween themed cartoons mostly) and she said it was boring, she stood up and went into my DVD cabinet and she picked Friday the 13th Part 3, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Frankenstein (original), Dawn of the Dead 2004 remake, Zombieland and Rob Zombie's Halloween. I didn't want to put those movies on, as they'd be a bit.. bad for a kid. But she started to cry and I said "oh well, if it gets too scary I'll turn it off" and we watched them all, the kid didn't even have a single scare! She even said she was hungry when she saw a zombie nibble on some guts! Most awesome kid ever. A psychopath in making..?

 

[AllisonAmy]

Today I was babysitting again on a 5 year old girl, we watched some light horror-y movies because it was halloween (some halloween themed cartoons mostly) and she said it was boring, she stood up and went into my DVD cabinet and she picked Friday the 13th Part 3, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Frankenstein (original), Dawn of the Dead 2004 remake, Zombieland and Rob Zombie's Halloween. I didn't want to put those movies on, as they'd be a bit.. bad for a kid. But she started to cry and I said "oh well, if it gets too scary I'll turn it off" and we watched them all, the kid didn't even have a single scare! She even said she was hungry when she saw a zombie nibble on some guts! Most awesome kid ever. A psychopath in making..?

That's awesome.

 

[AllisonAmy]

The four year old: "My tummy is crying out for just one more piece of candy."

 

[Darth Cruel]

LOL...good stuff you guys!