Thanks guys. Thanks Seb. You are the man these days. The real flag bearer.
Mom. Not sure yet. Waiting for info on that. Just trying to remain calm and keep my head. At least I have cleaned lately, and can do what I need, where I need for all the issues I am having.
I got a very reasonably stated PM from a disgruntled person awaiting their stuff. To all of you in this quandry, I feel your pain more than you know. Man, I do. I am probably the most impatient person on this board so I would know.
I have come to the realization, that one of the greatest (but simple, and unintended) mistakes I ever made, was to openly share what I did and could do, way back, in total ignorance, thinking I could handle any of the business and whatnots as it came.
Immediately upon arrival I was layered with heady, mind altering accolades for the quality of my work. I began to think I could do it all. I was on top of the world. And I made a lot of great friends.
Then when things got bad for the family, all things I have openly shared here already, feeling you all deserved to know why I was getting slow (this was back in 08) all that time thinking, it will be over soon, you can take more work, you are the FIGUREMASTER! And all the time, losing ground. To you all I can't apologize enough still.
I did another foolish thing. In my pride, I thought I could not take more work, or get another job, and just catch all that up. Well, that didn't work either. That was pretty dumb.
When the figures or funds ran out, I ran out of ideas, and am now having to file bankruptcy, only due to how every single month, the minimums on my maxed out cards were so high, I could no longer keep up. I couldnt keep on taking new jobs. Morally, I couldn't and literally. But, I needed money, and there was none, so bankruptcy became my only recourse. I did take a couple of jobs, thinking, it's just one more head....
That is all taking it's toll. I plan to work it all out. It is the hardest thing I have ever been though, worse in some ways than my mom's period of hell, in that this is MY FAULT. So, this is me trying to correct it. And move on, and finish all the work I owe all of you.
Many of you, most of you, have been unfathomably patient. Those that haven't, I can't blame. I deserve all the scorn and irritation. In my ignorance of business, and lack of going for help, I heaped that on myself, and by default, you.
But, as I have said before, and will say again, I am doing all in my power to finish all of it, and then....not sure. Will I ever come back to this? Not sure I should. Not without some SERIOUS supervision! But for now, all I want in my life, is to finish what I started. It's almost all I have left. If I were to lose everything, I would still want the work completed. It's why I refuse to give in.
We are defined in life by what we did. I can paint. OK. great. but I can screw up businesswise pretty bad. The only way I can erase that is to FINISH.
It is literally all I have left to live for.
I am not married. Don't own my own home. Don't have a car worth the banks to take. Am not in school. Don't have a 9 to 5 (working on that!) and don't have a plan much for what I will do after I am caught up. BUT I DO HAVE A PLAN TO CATCH UP!
I do not want to be remembered like Chris Howes will be. I can't. I won't. I will die working before that happens. I may not be who I was to this community, but BY GOD, I won't go down a wimp, or a loser or a quitter. I started this, I will finish it.
Thanks and know, I am still here. I will not go down without a fight.
You all are the best. Thanks for the support, and for worrying about my family. Sorry to even bring that in. I will try to be more professional from now on and not do that anymore. You all deserve the best for how you have treated me. I have to remember that.
Les
Thanks Reiny!
Also, I find it somewhat therapeutic to clean up a space as a way to prepare (or maybe put off for just a bit 
