Need advice on anger and rage.

[devilof76]

I've never had rage issues. There's plenty that makes me mad, and I get really angry, but it's more of a flash than a process of escalation towards loss of control. Once I've identified what makes me mad and why it's wrong, the anger changes. Knowing that something is wrong and that I'm right to be angry goes a long way because once it's identified, what to do about it becomes the next step. Since the solution is never to freak out and destroy things, I never get to that point. Never have.

Also, having a sharp tongue has always given me a way to release steam immediately. If someone makes me angry, I give it right back to them. A quick wit is the perfect way of saying, "No thank you," to those who have a habit of making a gift of anger. Even if whatever you come up with of the top of your head in that moment isn't enough to rile the person trying to get a rise out of you, so long as it makes you laugh, that's really all you need. Make it smaller than you and you'll always be above it.

Just ask Bugs Bunny.

 

[creecher]

Managing anger takes practise. You can listen to councillors etc and it can easily go in one ear and out the other. Even if something they say sounds stupid, you're best to give it a try, and by try I don't mean once or twice and say sorry it didn't work for me. Use this board for practise. Surely some things here get you riled. The point of practising is to get your mind and body used to the process. Very boring and pointless until one day it snaps into place and you find it easy to maintain your disposition. Even then you need to keep up the practice because you'll easily fall back into your old ways. You'll start getting more confident until you start to pick fights just to feel good about being able to remain calm and composed. That's when you've gone too far. Just keep it in mind how you 'trick' yourself or reach your composure using mental projection and run through the process now and then.

 

[dansdinosaurs]

What you are experiencing is a very common thing that many people struggle with. You may find it helpful to seek psychological treatment, if you have not already. Drug therapies are not meant to be a quick-fix of course, but you may find it extremely helpful throughout the course of a treatment regimen.

 

[mr.thrifty]

First off I would have to ask ... are any of these people "setting" you off directly related to you're income/living??

2) if not?? they hold no power over you

3) are you helping these people out of some type of guilt/pretense??

4) if so... do it because you want to... not because you FEEL you HAVE to..

5) do you feel a need to be in "control" ?

6) if so... and #1 does not apply... just let go of the idea of being "correct"

7) stop trying to be the one in control, correct, on top...

you'll find that what you repress .. you will project...


and the hardest thing to learn...........







































get over yourself.....

 

[creecher]

There's always the possibility that the quickest and easiest solution has been overlooked.

Try these.

 

[Eli26]

There's always the possibility that the quickest and easiest solution has been overlooked.

Try these.

*shudders*

Oh nos.

 

[devilof76]

You'll start getting more confident until you start to pick fights just to feel good about being able to remain calm and composed. That's when you've gone too far.

That is an easy trap to fall into.

 

[jinxx]

Finding the root of your anger helps. Doing something about it is another...Me?...oh, I don't hate....I retaliate!

 

[The Ween]

There's always the possibility that the quickest and easiest solution has been overlooked.

Try these.

awwwwww.....you can feed your worms candy and they get all happy!

 

[Skiman]

Controlling the outcome of the situation. Use the agression in your workouts. Belittle the situation like some said make it smaller than you. You are the bigger picture here, you are better than them, don't take abuse and just walk away, therefore you avoid a angry blow up and whomever is making you angry should realize that whenever you are not treated with respect. They should now that next time you will not help them if they don't listen to you and if they don't then they are really not looking at what is best for you.

 

[creecher]

awwwwww.....you can feed your worms candy and they get all happy!

That's right. When they stick their heads out wanting more, you chop them off.

 

[Adoptedscot]

Martial Arts

Used to work for me, thats one of the reasons I loved it so much.

Hope you feel better and calmer soon mate
x

 

[Batty]

Stop taking steroids.

 

[Eli26]

Stop taking steroids.

Just because I have muscles? Dammit! I am clean! No creatine or growth hormones in me either.

 

[Dash]

<a href="https://s516.photobucket.com/albums/u326/snakepitfletcher/?action=view&current=the-emperor.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="https://i516.photobucket.com/albums/u326/snakepitfletcher/the-emperor.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
Yes... I feel your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servent.

 

[uglyloco]

Half hour on a punching bag and you will be ok.

 

[devilof76]

Martial Arts

Used to work for me, thats one of the reasons I loved it so much.

Hope you feel better and calmer soon mate
x

Yes.

But, I've also known people who became more paranoid and genuinely dangerous once they began learning, so it's not a universal cure. Insecurities tend to become magnified in people with certain self-esteem issues. Whether Eli has those or not, I couldn't say.

Drinking tea helps too. White is best (and if you were to throw a bud or two in the strainer, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt). Just watch out for the caffeine.

 

[Valfar]

Yes.

But, I've also known people who became more paranoid and genuinely dangerous once they began learning, so it's not a universal cure. Insecurities tend to become magnified in people with certain self-esteem issues. Whether Eli has those or not, I couldn't say.

Drinking tea helps too. White is best (and if you were to throw a bud or two in the strainer, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt). Just watch out for the caffeine.

White is best for?(nevermind i had it its ok,has the highest amount of antioxidants due to being picked early in season) but, IMO.. Oolong is best(tasting) followed by Green tea and not that Lipton/Tetley white people brand asian rip off crap, i am talking tea imported from Fujian.To mellow out though, i would suggest chamomile or something with cat nip in it.

 

[devilof76]

Silver needle jasmine white tea. With honey. And yeah, IMO.

Never had oolong. Don't like darjeeling. I like assam though.

 

[thedarkknight]

This might sound silly, but have you tried scented oils. Lavender is very calming for me.

Go ahead make fun of me. I can take it.