Noticed many old members banned. What happened actually?

[MeatHookGekko]

I also recall when Henry Morgan pretended to be a dude in the Marvel section and catfished a few guys into falling in love with him. Allegedly, he self-banned after he was called out on it.

Wait. Wouldn't it be more likely that someone would pretend to be a woman, because they typically are so much rarer in communities like this ( to be fair, the old Warrior Forum and OSW had like 2 or 3 total over how many years but I recognize this place has far more) and then get guys to fall in love with them.... Or....

Yeah, this is one of those cases where I'd like to know more.... LOL.

 

[Sachiel]

 

[MeatHookGekko]

It was what happened at Rebelscum and it was what happened here. I don’t have experience with the Spawn board to know one way or another, but that does sound remarkably like the narrative which the persecuted children at both of the boards I did know used to nail themselves to their own crosses.

When you deal with a community of young men, in any format, it's actually healthy, but not politically correct to say, that sometimes it just balances things out when people are allowed to fight. What I mean is at the SDCC, people find an isolated part of a parking lot, then just go at it. Get it all out of their system.

The only other person here who has talked about martial arts is @ZE_501 IIRC. I think he said he did Muay Thai or maybe MMA. The point being, once you are around combative sports, it becomes clearer and clearer, IMHO, that sometimes two people just need to fight it out. Oddly enough, when I did Muay Thai, most people were chill, but the most psychotic unhinged tyrants were in Brazilian Jujitsu. Almost as a rule. But that was my experience. It's good for the soul to learn how to take a hit. And to give one.

Most people have an "On/Off" switch when it comes to violence. And most are socialized to not understand the calibration of when Off goes to On, when and where it should in most cases and how to defend your practical boundaries. I was not born with an Off switch. My switch is permanently turned on. Which can be both good and bad depending on the situation. So I'm actually not an ideal candidate to fight in a parking lot. I can, if I had to do it, but I'd end up slaughtering someone as a matter of personal principle. That's not some tough guy routine, it's just that people have to come to terms with their own base nature. I'm a good hobbyist, I strive to be fair and decent in this community as a fellow collector, but I'm not a good person. It took me a good long time to come to terms that I enjoyed hurting people who I felt deserved it, I was good at it and there was a lot of money in it.

But for most people, they should just fight. Literally and physically throw punches at each other. ( Obviously I'm not encouraging anyone to use this forum and openly set up logistics to start a Fight Club at SDCC...) It's not politically correct by any stretch to say out loud. And we live in a society that abhors the idea of normalized low level violence as a social lubricant. So I don't know what happened at the Spawn forums, or Rebelscum or even here since I was gone for many years, but the occasional brawl reminds people not to say anything period that you wouldn't say to someone's face.

When anything ( including being in a forum) becomes part of your "identity", then that's when hard blood can set in. When it becomes more than personal. IMHO, it helps to practice detachment. That everything ends and nothing lasts forever and most things in your life are only small fragments of a much larger collective. When you embrace that people come and go in your life and that you'll likely lose everything at some point, it's liberating. What people say and do means less and less.

 

[Solidus]

Do you remember Crix?

The name sounds familiar. What did they do?

 

[Solidus]

Wait. Wouldn't it be more likely that someone would pretend to be a woman, because they typically are so much rarer in communities like this ( to be fair, the old Warrior Forum and OSW had like 2 or 3 total over how many years but I recognize this place has far more) and then get guys to fall in love with them.... Or....

Yeah, this is one of those cases where I'd like to know more.... LOL.

Sorry, I miswrote. Henry Morgan pretended to be a girl and strung some guys along in the Marvel section. It was crazy. One guy in particular was in utter denial and kept lamenting all over the board that he lost the love of his life lol. Henry came back under a few secondary accounts but never stuck around.

 

[potato]

community note: "Neo nazis are not running New Zealand. The lack of prosecution action in regard to Nazi war criminals alleged to have settled in New Zealand at the end of World War 2 is based on New Zealand law and should not imply in any way a legislative or executive accommodation of Nazis in that country."

i dont know about history, but judging purely how how the 2 countries were managed during covid19. Really resembles wwii nazis but less brutal but with the same totalitarian.

 

[devilof76]

The name sounds familiar. What did they do?

Catfish. Got called on it early, then hysterically campaigned for guys to be her hero in private messages. Spring 2008 or so. It was dramatic and hilarious. The impressive part was how quickly people figured it out and shut him down.

 

[devilof76]

When you deal with a community of young men, in any format, it's actually healthy, but not politically correct to say, that sometimes it just balances things out when people are allowed to fight. What I mean is at the SDCC, people find an isolated part of a parking lot, then just go at it. Get it all out of their system.

The only other person here who has talked about martial arts is @ZE_501 IIRC. I think he said he did Muay Thai or maybe MMA. The point being, once you are around combative sports, it becomes clearer and clearer, IMHO, that sometimes two people just need to fight it out. Oddly enough, when I did Muay Thai, most people were chill, but the most psychotic unhinged tyrants were in Brazilian Jujitsu. Almost as a rule. But that was my experience. It's good for the soul to learn how to take a hit. And to give one.

Most people have an "On/Off" switch when it comes to violence. And most are socialized to not understand the calibration of when Off goes to On, when and where it should in most cases and how to defend your practical boundaries. I was not born with an Off switch. My switch is permanently turned on. Which can be both good and bad depending on the situation. So I'm actually not an ideal candidate to fight in a parking lot. I can, if I had to do it, but I'd end up slaughtering someone as a matter of personal principle. That's not some tough guy routine, it's just that people have to come to terms with their own base nature. I'm a good hobbyist, I strive to be fair and decent in this community as a fellow collector, but I'm not a good person. It took me a good long time to come to terms that I enjoyed hurting people who I felt deserved it, I was good at it and there was a lot of money in it.

But for most people, they should just fight. Literally and physically throw punches at each other. ( Obviously I'm not encouraging anyone to use this forum and openly set up logistics to start a Fight Club at SDCC...) It's not politically correct by any stretch to say out loud. And we live in a society that abhors the idea of normalized low level violence as a social lubricant. So I don't know what happened at the Spawn forums, or Rebelscum or even here since I was gone for many years, but the occasional brawl reminds people not to say anything period that you wouldn't say to someone's face.

When anything ( including being in a forum) becomes part of your "identity", then that's when hard blood can set in. When it becomes more than personal. IMHO, it helps to practice detachment. That everything ends and nothing lasts forever and most things in your life are only small fragments of a much larger collective. When you embrace that people come and go in your life and that you'll likely lose everything at some point, it's liberating. What people say and do means less and less.

Sure. But I think a fight is more often than not the easy way out.

Interesting thing with Rebelscum is that the adults just made their own forum. At first it was a secret base of sorts, to confer privately on how to deal with expected bs from one day to the next. It evolved into a private club where they could just have their conversations without having to deal with the bs at all. In the end, it was its own vBulletin forum with sponsorships and a guiding philosophy of mature individuals who needed no moderation or censorship, who dealt with their own inter-personal conflicts, and who tolerated no mindless disruptions in the form of entitlement, disrespect, or outright nonsense.

It did endure a period of trial by fire where resentment from the old forum was turned into a tool for persecuting those who were members of the new one, but once all ties were cut, the new forum became exactly what those guys wanted out of Rebelscum to begin with. Bantha Skull has a direct relationship with Hasbro and were instrumental in making things happen that would not have otherwise (Jabba’s Sail Barge being the big one).

A fight kind of assumes that it’s all just ego and point of view, and someone proving they can kick your ass will settle it once and for all. Except, every disagreement is not Hatfields and McCoys. Sometimes there’s a right side and sometimes there’s a wrong, and it’s pretty rare that a verbal disagreement can be justly resolved through a display of brute force. More often than not, the bigger thug just gets away with their bs and will continue to ruin whatever he touches. And when he inevitably meets the greater force, it isn’t the actual wrong which gets corrected. It’s just a new escalation of a cycle in which no one has the balls to make an intelligent, principled stand for what’s right.

Am I making sense? Because what happened here was wrong, and how it was dealt with was wrong, and while I would have been more than happy to watch some of those mf’s pick their teeth up off the parking lot, it would have given me zero satisfaction in the end.

Justice is never merely a beat down. That’s why the Nuremberg Trials happened.

 

[xipotec]

When you deal with a community of young men, in any format, it's actually healthy, but not politically correct to say, that sometimes it just balances things out when people are allowed to fight. What I mean is at the SDCC, people find an isolated part of a parking lot, then just go at it. Get it all out of their system.

The only other person here who has talked about martial arts is @ZE_501 IIRC. I think he said he did Muay Thai or maybe MMA. The point being, once you are around combative sports, it becomes clearer and clearer, IMHO, that sometimes two people just need to fight it out. Oddly enough, when I did Muay Thai, most people were chill, but the most psychotic unhinged tyrants were in Brazilian Jujitsu. Almost as a rule. But that was my experience. It's good for the soul to learn how to take a hit. And to give one.

Most people have an "On/Off" switch when it comes to violence. And most are socialized to not understand the calibration of when Off goes to On, when and where it should in most cases and how to defend your practical boundaries. I was not born with an Off switch. My switch is permanently turned on. Which can be both good and bad depending on the situation. So I'm actually not an ideal candidate to fight in a parking lot. I can, if I had to do it, but I'd end up slaughtering someone as a matter of personal principle. That's not some tough guy routine, it's just that people have to come to terms with their own base nature. I'm a good hobbyist, I strive to be fair and decent in this community as a fellow collector, but I'm not a good person. It took me a good long time to come to terms that I enjoyed hurting people who I felt deserved it, I was good at it and there was a lot of money in it.

But for most people, they should just fight. Literally and physically throw punches at each other. ( Obviously I'm not encouraging anyone to use this forum and openly set up logistics to start a Fight Club at SDCC...) It's not politically correct by any stretch to say out loud. And we live in a society that abhors the idea of normalized low level violence as a social lubricant. So I don't know what happened at the Spawn forums, or Rebelscum or even here since I was gone for many years, but the occasional brawl reminds people not to say anything period that you wouldn't say to someone's face.

When anything ( including being in a forum) becomes part of your "identity", then that's when hard blood can set in. When it becomes more than personal. IMHO, it helps to practice detachment. That everything ends and nothing lasts forever and most things in your life are only small fragments of a much larger collective. When you embrace that people come and go in your life and that you'll likely lose everything at some point, it's liberating. What people say and do means less and less.

Sorry man, not sure why you feel this way, but from my experience, this view is not normal.

 

[xipotec]

Sure. But I think a fight is more often than not the easy way out.

Interesting thing with Rebelscum is that the adults just made their own forum. At first it was a secret base of sorts, to confer privately on how to deal with expected bs from one day to the next. It evolved into a private club where they could just have their conversations without having to deal with the bs at all. In the end, it was its own vBulletin forum with sponsorships and a guiding philosophy of mature individuals who needed no moderation or censorship, who dealt with their own inter-personal conflicts, and who tolerated no mindless disruptions in the form of entitlement, disrespect, or outright nonsense.

It did endure a period of trial by fire where resentment from the old forum was turned into a tool for persecuting those who were members of the new one, but once all ties were cut, the new forum became exactly what those guys wanted out of Rebelscum to begin with. Bantha Skull has a direct relationship with Hasbro and were instrumental in making things happen that would not have otherwise (Jabba’s Sail Barge being the big one).

A fight kind of assumes that it’s all just ego and point of view, and someone proving they can kick your ass will settle it once and for all. Except, every disagreement is not Hatfields and McCoys. Sometimes there’s a right side and sometimes there’s a wrong, and it’s pretty rare that a verbal disagreement can be justly resolved through a display of brute force. More often than not, the bigger thug just gets away with their bs and will continue to ruin whatever he touches. And when he inevitably meets the greater force, it isn’t the actual wrong which gets corrected. It’s just a new escalation of a cycle in which no one has the balls to make an intelligent, principled stand for what’s right.

Am I making sense? Because what happened here was wrong, and how it was dealt with was wrong, and while I would have been more than happy to watch some of those mf’s pick their teeth up off the parking lot, it would have given me zero satisfaction in the end.

Justice is never merely a beat down. That’s why the Nuremberg Trials happened.

YeH , sorry this persecution complex shared by the "alpha males" is nothing more than people having intolerant and crappy positions on other people and cultures, then get mad when they are called out on it....

What happened here was not some glorious fight for freedom or war against censorship , it was the exact opposite, it was a group who go together and decided they didnt want to be badgered daily with garbage rhetoric that derailed the point of the forums. Thats not censorship, its removing people who break the rules, which are stated clear as day, and were continually warned over and over in each thread they infected.

The "adults" that left clearly wanted safe space for them to push their conservative conspiracies and rhetoric , in an echo chamber , and ignore most of what THIS forum was supposed to be about. Want to talk politics AND dollies and media? Find a forum that focuses that on the main ideals. This forum repeated over and over again that that behavior was NOT what the forum was for. People want a place to discuss their hobby without having to wade through pages of some political garbage ideals.

It literally taking over large swaths of our society. People now think, due to some famous folks bad example, that you can be a ****** and spout hateful rhetoric and the rest of us will stand by and "take it". The persecution is simply the school yard bullies being taken down by the rest of use who want an inclusive society. Because thats the only way society WORKS.

I am glad most of those people left.
The mostly did nothing more than derail anything in the forum they "disliked" and were always trying to shove thier warped view of "manly man" down everyones throats.

They were always obviously scared and insecure people who felt they were somehow saving the country from some horrible future.....

Good riddance.

Yeah and we all know some of them worked their way back here under different names and still attempt to start crap.

 

[ZE_501]

When you deal with a community of young men, in any format, it's actually healthy, but not politically correct to say, that sometimes it just balances things out when people are allowed to fight.

I've been in full contact martial arts (training, fighting, cornering/coaching) for more than half my life now although it's been years since I fought. I've seen many types of people come and go.

I can say that this is the best decision I have ever made for my life. I can say that for certain types of people, fighting within a controlled environment is a healthy and even necessary outlet.

It can teach you a great many things, humility and manners not least amongst them.

For some people, it teaches them that fighting is not for them and that's also valuable.

What I mean is at the SDCC, people find an isolated part of a parking lot, then just go at it. Get it all out of their system.

As entertaining as that sounds, I tend to agree with @devilof76 's point of view from their post above.

The only other person here who has talked about martial arts is @ZE_501 IIRC. I think he said he did Muay Thai or maybe MMA.

Mostly Muay Thai, plus a little wrestling and boxing.

The point being, once you are around combative sports, it becomes clearer and clearer, IMHO, that sometimes two people just need to fight it out. Oddly enough, when I did Muay Thai, most people were chill, but the most psychotic unhinged tyrants were in Brazilian Jujitsu. Almost as a rule. But that was my experience.

I haven't talked to a lot of BJJ practitioners but the majority of people I've met that stay in martial arts are generally chill. Like anything else, there are always egos, bad apples, lost souls ... but that's life.

It's good for the soul to learn how to take a hit. And to give one.

I concur.

[...] but the occasional brawl reminds people not to say anything period that you wouldn't say to someone's face.

While I don't agree with Nerd Fight Club ... I do agree that people run their mouths out of a sense of safety and complacency. But if I punched every idiot I met in the big city I'd be in jail and/or the hospital within short order. It's just too bad really, that our current human paradigm doesn't seem to scale well. I don't know where it's going to go.

IMHO, it helps to practice detachment. That everything ends and nothing lasts forever and most things in your life are only small fragments of a much larger collective. When you embrace that people come and go in your life and that you'll likely lose everything at some point, it's liberating. What people say and do means less and less.

I concur.

 

[xipotec]

I've been in full contact martial arts (training, fighting, cornering/coaching) for more than half my life now although it's been years since I fought. I've seen many types of people come and go.

I can say that this is the best decision I have ever made for my life. I can say that for certain types of people, fighting within a controlled environment is a healthy and even necessary outlet.

It can teach you a great many things, humility and manners not least amongst them.

For some people, it teaches them that fighting is not for them and that's also valuable.



As entertaining as that sounds, I tend to agree with @devilof76 's point of view from their post above.


Mostly Muay Thai, plus a little wrestling and boxing.


I haven't talked to a lot of BJJ practitioners but the majority of people I've met that stay in martial arts are generally chill. Like anything else, there are always egos, bad apples, lost souls ... but that's life.


I concur.


While I don't agree with Nerd Fight Club ... I do agree that people run their mouths out of a sense of safety and complacency. But if I punched every idiot I met in the big city I'd be in jail and/or the hospital within short order. It's just too bad really, that our current human paradigm doesn't seem to scale well. I don't know where it's going to go.


I concur.

LOL, this is kinds my point, I work in retail and believe me, MANY people need a shot to the lip, but that solves nothing for those types, regardless of what your Dad might told you, they will not learn a "lesson" it just serves to make someone feel better.

Personally I find the idea of needs fighting at a convention over dollies and movies quite ridicules and sad.

 

[devilof76]

YeH , sorry this persecution complex shared by the "alpha males" is nothing more than people having intolerant and crappy positions on other people and cultures, then get mad when they are called out on it....

What happened here was not some glorious fight for freedom or war against censorship , it was the exact opposite, it was a group who go together and decided they didnt want to be badgered daily with garbage rhetoric that derailed the point of the forums. Thats not censorship, its removing people who break the rules, which are stated clear as day, and were continually warned over and over in each thread they infected.

The "adults" that left clearly wanted safe space for them to push their conservative conspiracies and rhetoric , in an echo chamber , and ignore most of what THIS forum was supposed to be about. Want to talk politics AND dollies and media? Find a forum that focuses that on the main ideals. This forum repeated over and over again that that behavior was NOT what the forum was for. People want a place to discuss their hobby without having to wade through pages of some political garbage ideals.

It literally taking over large swaths of our society. People now think, due to some famous folks bad example, that you can be a ****** and spout hateful rhetoric and the rest of us will stand by and "take it". The persecution is simply the school yard bullies being taken down by the rest of use who want an inclusive society. Because thats the only way society WORKS.

I am glad most of those people left.
The mostly did nothing more than derail anything in the forum they "disliked" and were always trying to shove thier warped view of "manly man" down everyones throats.

They were always obviously scared and insecure people who felt they were somehow saving the country from some horrible future.....

Good riddance.

Yeah and we all know some of them worked their way back here under different names and still attempt to start crap.

I wasn’t talking about those guys.

The tools here were very much the opposite of the guys who founded Bantha Skull. The analogy to this place would sound something like: the adults left because they were tired of no one doing anything about the children, and when they left, the worst of the children (crows, Zach, WellCQ, SolidSnake, KneelBeforeZod, the Russian bsh, Gaspar) took over.

When SOMEONE tried confronting them, mods refused to take sides, let the trash have its way, and still ended up having to ban them in the end. By then, it was too late because the damage was done, and the rest is history.

 

[xipotec]

I wasn’t talking about those guys.

The tools here were very much the opposite of the guys who founded Bantha Skull. The analogy to this place would sound something like: the adults left because they were tired of no one doing anything about the children, and when they left, the worst of the children (crows, Zach, WellCQ, SolidSnake, KneelBeforeZod, the Russian bsh, Gaspar) took over.

When SOMEONE tried confronting them, mods refused to take sides, let the trash have its way, and still ended up having to ban them in the end. By then, it was too late because the damage was done, and the rest is history.

Point taken....those guys did alot of damage before they were pruned.

 

[devilof76]

Point taken....those guys did alot of damage before they were pruned.

It’s funny how naming names clears things up!

 

[xipotec]

It’s funny how naming names clears things up!

been trying to forget those names...

 

[MeatHookGekko]

Sorry man, not sure why you feel this way, but from my experience, this view is not normal.

If that's how you feel, then I respect that's how you want to feel about it. I disagree. I'd argue that some of my thoughts on this topic are simply a minority opinion in a sea of what is a growing abnormal crisis for young men/adult men in general. The kind of world I want to live in includes those who do and can disagree with me. At minimum, that's going to set me apart from whatever happened at these Spawn forums, or Rebelscum or whatever else is out there.

Some of the later replies to this thread are talking about toxic behavior, but we are also talking about communities that are predominately male and many are inhabited by young males or those who started there as younger-ish males. Obviously lots of people here are in the 40-60 range now, but many have been here long enough where they didn't start at that age either on this forum, other forums or within this hobby.

For guys period, I believe there is value in having community, shared experiences, shared hardships, skill based learning and development, competition and hard physical exercise and sparring ( that might also end up as fighting). Human beings have two biological mandates, that's instinctive to us all - 1 ) Survive and 2) Reproduce Almost all of our core behavior derives from that. We were built to run, track, fight, hunt, want to have sex, want to find good things to eat, socialize in communities and break down into different social hierarchies. Get these young kids off that damn little IPhone and away from some of those video games and have them play more sports. Get into more activities that are competitive and teach them things like team work and meritocracy. Where they can find mentorship, friendship and brotherhood. For younger guys, and younger kids, there is more of a soft landing to have a culture built around sparring, and yes even fighting, and have that be part of the learning/developmental process.

For older guys without those experiences, their options are to join martial arts, maybe join the military if they are still moderately young enough to hit the age cutoff, or come to terms that sometimes you have to fight ( i.e. just learn the hard way) I only bring up martial arts/combative sports because it's the closest socially acceptable approximate option available for males beyond their early youth years. But even that is NOT the same as a pure full on street fight.

You only learn what fighting might cost you when you've actually had to bleed in one. When there are no rules, no refs, no timer on the clock, no help coming, nothing but what you have on you and within you at the time and place to survive it. I don't believe the average guy can have that nuance ( the price of violence) without experiencing it face to face. Just like no one can tell you what it's like to drive alone in a car for the first few times until you have to do it ( it's not the same having an instructor in training sitting next to you with their own brake pedal , or watching videos or doing some written tests, some things are only learned by experience)

I see "fighting" as being in the life tool box. Should it be the first tool out of the tool box? No, in nearly all cases, it shouldn't. Am I advocating for hitting someone with a pipe wrench for bumping into your shopping cart at the grocery store? No. I'm not advocating for that either. But I also don't believe fighting should be removed from the "tool box" There comes a point when two guys have reached the point where the only resolution is to slug it out.

Sorry guys, what you see today is not reflective of all of human history. The "no fighting at all" mantras, built much around legal concerns, public education bureaucracy and understandable risk aversion in modern parents, are abnormal to the way young men through most of time have been socialized. Where low level fighting, brawling, wrestling and rough play were normal. And yes even men older than that, fighting was much more normalized. Some of you will say that was uncivilized. Well guys, how does it look around you now in current society, especially in the bigger cities and urban sprawls? Look totally civilized to you? I see roving packs of predators and individual sadists out there with a majority of our society conditioned to be prey.

Well, the conversation certainly has gotten more lively, has it not. If you disagree, that's OK, I'm perfectly fine with some back and forth dialogue on this if you want. My positions require some more context, because they are politically incorrect, but I see them as different, not better than yours, not worse than yours, but just different. The stuff that happened on Rebelscum or Spawn boards or here, there is IMHO a larger framework behind it when it comes to men, community and being universally disaffected.

 

[MeatHookGekko]

IMHO, the many of the problems of 15-20 years ago, when you are dealing with lots of young men and even some including older men, are lagging indicators of again, what I see as larger framework problem. It's only really being explored today, these topics, which would have gotten people shamed to even begin to talk about them decades ago, because there is a clear current widespread economic impact stemming from it.

And I still hold by what I said earlier. If a dispute goes long enough and toxic enough between two guys, if they aren't willing to walk away, then I'd still advocate that the simplest solution ( maybe not the "easy solution") is to just fight it out. You don't get to not suffer. But sometimes you get to pick your suffering.

 

[DioramaMaker]

I'm not gonna lie to you, the last thing I'd tell ANY young person to do is to physically fight out their problems. We are and need to be better than that. It's the last thing I would tell a child. Physical aggression should be reserved for defensive purposes only. That virtue is widely taught in most hand to hand combat sports (citing Krav and Jiu Jitsu, personally). Defense, defense, defense.

But more importantly, as someone who's been trained, and is further training in surgical intervention in the mouth and face: you're a hair away from a TBI, lifelong chronic pain, or exorbitant financial burden because some moron thinks they need to prove themselves. The last thing a teen needs is to be coerced into believing they're an action hero who needs to John Wick their way out of situation whenever they're faced with seemingly irrevocable conflict, ESPECIALLY in a country that's not particularly kind in pursuing health care support for the aftermath. A developing brain does not make quality decisions, nor should it be damaged in the process. They don't know better, and perhaps more frighteningly, don't know when to stop.

I go back to my dad, who always told me never to start a fight, but if you find yourself one, finish it.

One can advocate for fighting out problems, but what you don't see is the poor kid who has to go through life without his front teeth, or ends up blinded in one eye. His parents can't afford dental care to fix it his smile. He doesn't get the jobs he applied to because he doesn't have genuine expression. He doesn't pursue social interactions because he is embarrassed. He becomes isolated, less successful, and then can never fully recover from that one instance where he said "I can beat you up" to prove himself...and chose wrong. His jaw aches from the fracture which he never had set, because his dad told him to suck it up, and now he lives with chronic pain and he's always in a bad mood managing the pain. Maybe he gets addicted to opioids. God forbid he gets welted over the head and gets a TBI in the process that impacts his cognition. Fast forward 15 years, and you have someone that, many, might call a burden to society, or a wasted potential...humans are mean.

This patient is real, by the way. An amalgamation of things, sure, but they're real.

I agree with you however, about encouraging young individuals to learn and grow in productive manners. Engaging in quality, enriching activities that celebrate camaraderie in ways which cater to the many different ways brains develop. Being inclusive begins at the foundation of allowing people to grow together. Being masculine and a leader comes in all shapes and forms.

 

[xipotec]

I'm not gonna lie to you, the last thing I'd tell ANY young person to do is to physically fight out their problems. We are and need to be better than that. It's the last thing I would tell a child. Physical aggression should be reserved for defensive purposes only. That virtue is widely taught in most hand to hand combat sports (citing Krav and Jiu Jitsu, personally). Defense, defense, defense.

But more importantly, as someone who's been trained, and is further training in surgical intervention in the mouth and face: you're a hair away from a TBI, lifelong chronic pain, or exorbitant financial burden because some moron thinks they need to prove themselves. The last thing a teen needs is to be coerced into believing they're an action hero who needs to John Wick their way out of situation whenever they're faced with seemingly irrevocable conflict, ESPECIALLY in a country that's not particularly kind in pursuing health care support for the aftermath. A developing brain does not make quality decisions, nor should it be damaged in the process. They don't know better, and perhaps more frighteningly, don't know when to stop.

I go back to my dad, who always told me never to start a fight, but if you find yourself one, finish it.

One can advocate for fighting out problems, but what you don't see is the poor kid who has to go through life without his front teeth, or ends up blinded in one eye. His parents can't afford dental care to fix it his smile. He doesn't get the jobs he applied to because he doesn't have genuine expression. He doesn't pursue social interactions because he is embarrassed. He becomes isolated, less successful, and then can never fully recover from that one instance where he said "I can beat you up" to prove himself...and chose wrong. His jaw aches from the fracture which he never had set, because his dad told him to suck it up, and now he lives with chronic pain and he's always in a bad mood managing the pain. Maybe he gets addicted to opioids. God forbid he gets welted over the head and gets a TBI in the process that impacts his cognition. Fast forward 15 years, and you have someone that, many, might call a burden to society, or a wasted potential...humans are mean.

This patient is real, by the way. An amalgamation of things, sure, but they're real.

I agree with you however, about encouraging young individuals to learn and grow in productive manners. Engaging in quality, enriching activities that celebrate camaraderie in ways which cater to the many different ways brains develop. Being inclusive begins at the foundation of allowing people to grow together. Being masculine and a leader comes in all shapes and forms.

Yeah totally agree. Also in medical so yeah , violence begets violence. I too have been on both sides of fights, and what I learned is winning feel worse than losing.

Being a strong male to me means never losing your temper, and only resorting to violence to protect weaker individuals in crisis. It also mean never having to prove my manhood with macho toxic stuff. I know who I am, what I mean to those around me, and what I am capeble of should the need arise. But I have also live over half a century and did not figure all of this out in my twenties .

Strength of will will always trumps strength of muscle to me.....and its what has led to almost all of my successes.

Once you resort to physical, You lose something , that something is what sets us apart from animals, the ability to reason.

All those videos are just variations on a warped theme that somehow men today are weaker. Maybe they are just smarter? And know violence rarely actually solves anything and male strength is not derived from power over others, only power over yourself,
.
Just IMO.

BTW apprciate the conversation on this civil tone.