Official Transformer Movie Review Thread!!! - Spoiler Free until July 4th!

[Jair]

Give it up Douglas. Independence Day is a piece of crap brought to you by one of the biggest f'n hacks on the planet: Roland Emmerich. He is a plagiarist who has ripped off more successful films than any other director: Universal Soldier: Terminator, Stargate: Raiders of the Lost Ark/Star Wars, Independence Day: Star Wars/Close Enounters/War of the Worlds/E.T./Top Gun, Godzilla: Jurassic Park, Moon 44: Alien

How this guy AND Michael Bay AND Brett Ratner continue to make films is astonishing.

Lotta movie anger there

Glad I just go to a movie, enjoy my time, buy it on DVD if I like it and thats it.

its entertainment, I think thats what does it for me and for the record I liked Stargate, ID4 and Transformers.

Evan

 

[IrishJedi]

Every time someone watches ID4 an angel loses its wings and a baby kitten dies.

Just so ya know.

 

[King Darkness]

Every time someone watches ID4 an angel loses its wings and a baby kitten dies.

Just so ya know.

Really??

I'm gonna start watching ID4 5 times a day, I ****ing hate angles and kittens!!

 

[nash]

Lotta movie anger there

Glad I just go to a movie, enjoy my time, buy it on DVD if I like it and thats it.

its entertainment, I think thats what does it for me and for the record I liked Stargate, ID4 and Transformers.

Evan

Id have to agree

 

[tomandshell]

Let's say, for example, that the US military actually opened fire on the helicopter from the intro at some point before allowing it to land on our base unchallenged. I assume that's how it would happen in real life, but this way we got a cool action scene with shockwaves and explosions and running and shooting and stuff. This was was more fun.

(Also, I have never seen an eBay auction that featured a big picture of the seller like that.)

But hey--remember the part where Optimus Prime turned his hand into a big sword and shoved it up into the head of that bad robot? That was cool! My son's gonna love it!

He was asking me all about the movie today. "Will I see the helicopter? What about the jet? And the good truck? And the yellow car?" Etc. We got him a Bumblebee Transformer at Target and he has been changing it back and forth 100 times a day since then and he can't wait to see his robot up on the big screen. He doesn't care about a credible plot or believable situations or sympathetic and realistic characters. He wants to see robots that fight and change into vehicles.

 

[IrishJedi]

I ****ing hate angles and kittens!!

Are round corners and puppies okay?



Alright, how's about this: Every time someone watches (and enjoys) ID4 a Darkness statue breaks in the SSC factory.

 

[tomandshell]

I prefer:

Every time somebody watches ID4, Gentle Giant excludes another state from their next Premiere Guild raffle.

 

[IrishJedi]

Let's say, for example, that the US military actually opened fire on the helicopter from the intro at some point before allowing it to land on our base unchallenged. I assume that's how it would happen in real life, but this way we got a cool action scene with shockwaves and explosions and running and shooting and stuff. This was was more fun.

(Also, I have never seen an eBay auction that featured a big picture of the seller like that.)

But hey--remember the part where Optimus Prime turned his hand into a big sword and shoved it up into the head of that bad robot? That was cool! My son's gonna love it!

He was asking me all about the movie today. "Will I see the helicopter? What about the jet? And the good truck? And the yellow car?" Etc. We got him a Bumblebee Transformer at Target and he has been changing it back and forth 100 times a day since then and he can't wait to see his robot up on the big screen. He doesn't care about a credible plot or believable situations or sympathetic and realistic characters. He wants to see robots that fight and change into vehicles.

Tom, I took my 4 year old to see the movie and he LOVED it.

Even cooler, we literally passed a blue and red Peterbilt truck (no flames, though) on the way home after the movie and he flipped out!! I'm sure I would have too were I his age.

Prime vs Bonecrusher, while short, is the coolest FX sequence in eons, imho. ILM wins another Oscar this year.

 

[King Darkness]

But hey--remember the part where Optimus Prime turned his hand into a big sword and shoved it up into the head of that bad robot? That was cool! My son's gonna love it!

He was asking me all about the movie today. "Will I see the helicopter? What about the jet? And the good truck? And the yellow car?" Etc. We got him a Bumblebee Transformer at Target and he has been changing it back and forth 100 times a day since then and he can't wait to see his robot up on the big screen. He doesn't care about a credible plot or believable situations or sympathetic and realistic characters. He wants to see robots that fight and change into vehicles.

And thats what makes this a great film.

Its fun, kids love it, and it makes you feel like a kid again.

 

[IrishJedi]

I prefer:

Every time somebody watches ID4, Gentle Giant excludes another state from their next Premiere Guild raffle.

Wait. That might actually explain their irrational behavior.

 

[King Darkness]

Are round corners and puppies okay?

angels

Alright, how's about this: Every time someone watches (and enjoys) ID4 a Darkness statue breaks in the SSC factory.

 

[dekadentdave]

Do popcorn movies have to be dumb?

Puzzled by Transformers’ mostly favourable reception, our film editor asks what constitutes a good popcorn movie, and wonders whether some critics might live to regret their positive reviews

by: Kris Ashton 03/07/2007


Following my unfavourable Transformers review, I’ve elsewhere noticed a widespread and baffling (to me, at least) leeway afforded the movie’s myriad shortcomings – even from critics who would normally turn their noses up at such an offering. Evan Williams’ review in the Weekend Australian (June 30) is a good example. It features lines like, “Of all the big, silly pictures of 2007, Transformers may prove the biggest and silliest” and “It’s not difficult to be impressed by Transformers. All you need is relatively good eyesight. To enjoy Transformers is more difficult.” Yet he, and plenty of other critics with even worse things to say about the film gave it three stars or more. It got me thinking about popcorn flicks, and what people expect from them. Why should this brand of action movie get special consideration? Why has mediocrity become acceptable in action films and nowhere else?


Whenever a movie like The Day After Tomorrow or Armageddon gets a review that questions its intelligence and/or originality, there’s always a host of message board phantoms who refute the review with an argument that goes like this: “It’s a popcorn movie, you idiot! Who cares if the plot doesn’t make sense and there are factual errors? You’re supposed to switch your brain off and just go along for the ride!”

Now I have no argument against stuffing your face full of junk food and letting your brain have the night off. In fact, I do it all the time. But I believe there’s a difference between a movie that doesn’t tax your mind and movie that insults your intelligence.

So what is that difference? Well, let’s compare and contrast to make the distinction. Spider-Man 2 and Transformers are both popcorn movies. They’re heavy on special effects, the dialogue doesn’t need much analysis, and what themes they have sit on the surface in easy reach. Yet, one of these movies I enjoyed immensely and the other one irked the hell out of me.

The devil is in the details. Spider-Man 2’s dialogue can be cheesy at times, but it doesn’t sound like it was cut-and-pasted from a bad romance novel. The dialogue in Transformers is one cliché after another, each one triter and cornier than the next. Spider-Man 2’s characters have depth (admittedly courtesy of Stan Lee) and we care for Peter Parker, Mary Jane and company. In Transformers, people are almost incidental to the story, despite Michael Bay’s protestations that he told his story from the human perspective. Think I’m exaggerating? If you can name more than two human characters one week after seeing Transformers, I think you’ll be doing better than the average viewer.

For me, anyway, a popcorn movie with a bad script, lifeless characters plot holes galore achieves the opposite of its stated desired effect: it switches my brain back on. Just as I’m sliding into the fantasy world and the room around me is fading away, some pretty actor will cough up a hackneyed line – and suddenly I’m aware of the dolt kicking my seat or the rain pattering on the roof. And that’s the best case scenario. At worst, I’m slapping my forehead or covering my eyes and wondering how on earth a production company ever green-lighted such rubbish.

Before you accuse me of being a typical elitist snob critic, I should point out that I loved the following movies: Commando, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Lone Wolf McQuade, Daredevil, Bloodsport, Roadhouse, Jurassic Park and Terminator 3. I don’t think you’d call any of those brain-busters, not even with the quasi-science of Terminator 3 and Jurassic Park thrown in. Yet, as well as being entertaining romps, each of those movies offers something other than shiny lights, big explosions and glib dialogue spouted by this year’s hot new talent.

When Patrick Swayze says “pain don’t hurt” in Roadhouse or Jesse Ventura says “I ain’t got time to bleed” in Predator or Arnie says one of his numerous corn-fed lines in Terminator 3 … none of these is as bad as the mawkish exchange in Armageddon when William Fitchner says to Bruce Willis, “You swear on your daughter’s life … on my family’s, that you can hit that mark” and they do not elicit the same cringe that comes in Transformers when Megan Fox takes time out from a gigantic military conflict to tell Shia LaBeouf, “I’m glad I got in the car with you.” Fitchner, Willis, Fox and LaBeouf are all competent actors in their own rights, but no actor can overcome poor characterisation. Some might accuse me of splitting hairs, but I think that’s the difference: the viewer is more forgiving of bad dialogue or improbable scenarios when he or she cares about the people he or she is watching.

And damn it, popcorn movies can have elegant dialogue. Take this simple exchange in Spider-Man 2:

Mary Jane: “Do you love me or not?”
Peter Parker: “I … don’t.”

It’s the most basic language imaginable; a first grader could explain what it means. Yet in terms of emotional effect, it blows “I’m glad I got in the car with you” right out of the water. Admittedly some of the credit should go to director Sam Raimi, but the power was also inherent in the script.

In a good popcorn movie, unbelievable things happen to believable characters. In a bad popcorn movie, unbelievable things happen to unbelievable characters – or worst of all, non-entities. And as I discussed in my review, Transformers is full of non-entities.

I think some of the critics who have afforded Transformers 6 out of 10 or more (or three stars or more) in the heat of the moment might rue the decision when they catch the film again on DVD six or 12 months down the line. I had a very similar experience with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen a few years ago. It’s like waking up next to that guy or girl who looked really hot on the dance floor last night but is not so flash in the bright morning sun. Away from the cinema’s deafening sound and dim lighting, Transformers’ myriad flaws will become embarrassingly apparent.

 

[nash]

Do popcorn movies have to be dumb?

Puzzled by Transformers’ mostly favourable reception, our film editor asks what constitutes a good popcorn movie, and wonders whether some critics might live to regret their positive reviews

by: Kris Ashton 03/07/2007


I think some of the critics who have afforded Transformers 6 out of 10 or more (or three stars or more) in the heat of the moment might rue the decision when they catch the film again on DVD six or 12 months down the line. I had a very similar experience with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen a few years ago. It’s like waking up next to that guy or girl who looked really hot on the dance floor last night but is not so flash in the bright morning sun. Away from the cinema’s deafening sound and dim lighting, Transformers’ myriad flaws will become embarrassingly apparent.

So basically EVERYONE's wrong and this proverbial nobody is right in her opinion and reviews.

Sure.


I want some popcorn with my beer now.

 

[dekadentdave]

So basically EVERYONE's wrong and this proverbial nobody is right in her opinion and reviews.

Sure.


I want some popcorn with my beer now.

How bout some cheese with that whine?

 

[nash]

How bout some cheese with that whine?

no thanks, ill stick to popcorn and beer

 

[Dusty]

I actually really liked that 'glad I got in the car with you' line. Because the movie's all about adventure and believing in giant alien robots who transform into machines, not about whether she's in love with Sam or not. She could have easily turned tail and ran and lived in blissful ignorance, but instead she chose the adventure and wonder of the unknown. I don't know, I liked it... if that makes me a bad person in some people's eyes, so be it.

 

[dekadentdave]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwziN4H35Kw

 

[Jair]

Movies are pretty subjective...you can get into the technical aspects, you can talk about the actors skills, the lighting, the mood, the precision but honestly it all comes down to a few things... did you enjoy it and did you get your money's worth.

I've seen many movies worse then Transformers and many better movies than Transformers but it boils down to the two things I look for, did I enjoy it,yes, did I get my money's worth, yup.

Back in college many years ago, I took a few film classes here and there, took a course on directing, had some space to fill, and the only thing I found out after all that time is either you like it or don't, I can certainly tell from these posts who does and doesn't like Transformers.

On another note, I'd love a PF of Optimus Prime :chew


Evan

 

[King Darkness]

Edited

 

[DouglasMcc]

How bout some cheese with that whine?

Okay, I am done debating this issue, because all Dave wants to do is insult the ones of us who liked Transformers. HOWEVER, the line above is the most hypocritical bit of BS I have every read here ... and I was around when Melvin Pelayo was doing his thing. Dave has been whining since he illegally downloaded the movie ... and he hasn't stopped since. Now, he has the audacity to complain about someone else? Hmm, reminds me of something: