Question for married couples/serious relationships

[Eli26]

Eli why the hell do you keep posting here?

Really, I have no clue. Maybe boredom. Maybe because I really do hate this thread.

 

[King Darkness]

I really hate Eli

 

[Eli26]

I really hate Eli

No you don't. Now be nice!

 

[King Darkness]

STFU Eli....

 

[creature4000]

She goes to Ladies night.. the men got to strip clubs... we all go home too each other later.

.. it's ok to go out once and a while. If they want to go out all the time.. theres a problem.

 

[Eli26]

STFU Eli....

No, you first!

 

[BadMoon]

No, you first!

Who the hell is this guy?

 

[King Darkness]

No, you first!

Eli=big caca.


Oh, and great thread for the Watchmen figure

 

[Eli26]

Eli=big caca.


Oh, and great thread for the Watchmen figure

Thank you.

You're a big caca head... and

Badmoon.... why so mean?

My Pens and Moose lost... isn't that enough?

 

[BadMoon]

Thank you.

You're a big caca head... and

Badmoon.... why so mean?

My Pens and Moose lost... isn't that enough?

Nope.......

 

[King Darkness]

You're a big caca head... and

Wrong. Didnt you hear, Chase=not a caca

 

[Darkseed]

We never go out to a "club" together, alone or with friends. It is relative to many factors the biggest is it is not part of our life style. During college before kids we went out constantly together, alone with friends because that is what we did at the time.

We are older, our friends are married with "younger" kids and it is not part of our or their lifestyle. We go out as couples to golf, dinner, movie and events (concert, sporting) etc. Sometimes we go out alone with the group to the same events but not often. We have enough responsibilities with kids, work, school and volunteer activities that we enjoy spending our free time together not alone.

 

[Shai]

Wrong. Didnt you hear, Chase=not a caca

 

[The Mike]

I love that he seals his monologues with "Gekko".

 

[nash]

I don't quite know if that's true to be honest.

Everyone has a different level of risk tolerance for their comfort level and lots of people come from diverse backgrounds. I also think age and opportunity come into play as well. The level of commitment becomes a factor as well ( i.e. someone who you live with and share bills with is a whole different ballgame than someone who shares neither of those things with you. Separating living situations and finances are a pain in the ass for lot of people upon a split)

What I think, in general, most people don't want to face is sometimes the other person has checked out emotionally and mentally and is looking for a bigger better deal. But rarely do most people want to leave one place until they have another to land on.

The truth? The hard core unfiltered truth about it all? Sometimes the person you are with doesn't think you are their first choice. Sometimes people keep other people around for the money, the sex, because they are bored, because they are afraid of being lonely, because they need validation, because they like attention, because they like someone to pack their lunches for them during the week.

To me, if you have John and Jane Average and either one of them decides to troll out there for new prospects ( i.e. "go meet new people" or "go to the club and just have some fun but not cheat" or whatever other Eskimo freezers they want to sell to people, etc, etc) , odds are they have already mentally checked out of the relationship. If a person has met their "first choice", someone they really care about and want to be with, they will naturally take fewer risks to potentially threaten that relationship.

The best test to me is this, if you are man, imagine you got into a bad car wreck and were paralyzed from the waist down for life. If you are a woman, imagine you had breast cancer and survived but you lost both breasts in the aftermath. In four years, do you honestly envision your spouse or other or boyfriend/girlfriend sticking by you? Statistically speaking, if you took 100 people, I believe 90 of them would have had their relationships dissolve before the fourth year came around.

The more you have to offer, that the opposite sex tends to value, the less people in general are going to test you and the more you can take the other person for granted and get away with it.

The less you have to offer, that the opposite sex tends to value, the more people in general are going to test you and the less you can take the other person for granted and get away with it.

I suppose many people think the top 5-10 percent of desirable men and women have it easier as well. I mean, it's true to life, if you are a rich man or a pretty woman, most people will tend to treat you better. I don't know if that's true. Ugly people, for lack of a better word, often get the truth. If no one wants anything out of you, if you can't help their life, if you don't raise their status, they have no reason to try to pretend to be nice or curry your favor or try to keep appearances with you. If you are someone's absolute first choice, then there's a good chance your are potentially several people's "first choice". You won't get as many mates trying to go club hopping on you or taking risky behavior that might kill the golden goose for them. But I suppose you might never see much of the real truth to people. Ugly people just get the straight dope from the start. If you have nothing and someone loves you, then you know they love you for you ( I mean, to be fair, what else is there in that case?)

So yes, I think some people just like going to clubs and bars and some couples have a higher level of risk tolerance than the norm for most couples and some are really happy and more power to them. If it works for those two people then great. But is that going to the majority of the cases when one partner of the two wants to go bar hopping or club ratting? Yeah, I don't know. Honestly I don't think it's the case.

So I don't know if always about insecurity. Sometimes I think people react poorly to a giant in your face kung fu style "^^^^^k You And Die". Because that's what it is really a lot of the time when someone trolls for the next bigger better deal in your face and expects you to suck it up and take it. And I think a lot of people out there, men and women alike, want to do that and try to do that if they can get away with it. No one will ever tell you that you aren't their first choice. Lot of times they will show you though.

Gekko

admittedly, the post was too long for me to read every word, i guess im just not as invested in this subject since it doesnt pertain to me or my partner at all.

The way I see it, it has a lot more to do with insecurity than you give it credit for. Im not just talking about going out to clubs/bars, some people in this thread admitted that they wouldnt even allow their woman to go out with the girls , or vice versa. The way I see it, life is too short to be putting this kind of trivial limitations on each other. If your partner is going to cheat on you, she/he will do it regardless if you restrain them from going out to a club or bar.

Granted, going to a club frequently at our age (late twenties +) isn't the norm and is not MY style either....but maybe for some people that is their escape.

You are right that everyone has their personal tollerances, and I also have mine, but I find that limiting your partner to being at home, or ONLY going out if you are there to watch their every more is a bit riddiculous.

 

[Deeznutz6]

"You are right that everyone has their personal tollerances, and I also have mine, but I find that limiting your partner to being at home, or ONLY going out if you are there to watch their every more is a bit riddiculous"

and will only bite you in the ass down the road...

 

[nash]

"You are right that everyone has their personal tollerances, and I also have mine, but I find that limiting your partner to being at home, or ONLY going out if you are there to watch their every more is a bit riddiculous"

and will only bite you in the ass down the road...

why? you live in a constant state of fear and insecurity, i think that will bite you in the ass before it does me. I'd take my life over that any day.

 

[Deeznutz6]

??
i think you mis read what I wrote dude

I was agreeing with the latter part of your post, stating that being a watch dog will only drive someone away

 

[nash]

??
i think you mis read what I wrote dude

I was agreeing with the latter part of your post, stating that being a watch dog will only drive someone away

oh, yeah i missed that. seemed like you were telling me my statement would bite me in my ass. i got ya.

 

[NASEDO]

I hate the club scene in my area. Its all dudes and maybe 5 girls. Cant stand the music either. I think most chicks go just for the attention, they need to feel special. But I'm sure the scene is different in other places. Like Vegas. That would probably be awesome or places outside the states. So I think it depends on how the scene is where u live.

But I don't see any other reason to go to a club except for trying to get in a girls pants, so its understandable to me, for a partner to be alittle aggravated.