Question for married couples/serious relationships

[Eli26]

My wife can do whatever the hell she feels like, and she trusts me to do the same.

An interesting thing how that word "trust" always comes back.

Trust is key.

Trust and respect. Also, it doesn't hurt if you're blessed in the important areas...

WHAT NOW?!

 

[The Chaver]

Clubs are for kids!

 

[ProgMatinee]

If you take a thief somewhere where they can't steal are they still a thief? Or are they someone with thiving tendencies that just doesn't have opportunities?

I say doesn't matter as long as they don't do the deed. Removing alchohol from an alchoholic's house isn't cheating the recovery process.

 

[The Chaver]

And your name is Trustey?

 

[Shropt]

See to me this is a cop out. This is saying you don't trust her without saying you don't trust her. Its takes two to cheat, plain and simple. If she gets hit on and flirted with and just shoots them down, then what is the harm? I trust my wife completely, she goes out and I don't need to check on her, I don't care if she heads out with all single women or not.

It takes 2 to cheat, but only 1 to get raped/robbed/drugged. When you are married you don't only think about cheating.

I don't know where you guys live but here in Florida its not a safe thing to go clubbing and run around as a woman.

 

[Khev]

This kind of thing brings up an interesting question. Are you avoiding the possibilty of becoming a statistic or just not a statistic? If you take a thief somewhere where they can't steal are they still a thief? Or are they someone with thiving tendencies that just doesn't have opportunities?

All I know is better men than me have failed their wives through cheating or disrespectful flirtations. We decided at the beginning of our relationship that the best way to beat temptation is to just nip it in the bud. Small sacrifice since the club scene really isn't all that anyway.

 

[The Ween]

My ex-boyfriend liked it when I went out with the girls because I always stopped at his house later half corked and horny as hell.

 

[Eli26]

All I know is better men than me have failed their wives through cheating or disrespectful flirtations. We decided at the beginning of our relationship that the best way to beat temptation is to just nip it in the bud. Small sacrifice imo since the club scene really isn't all that anyway.

Again, so you guys don't have 100 percent trust in yourselves... Hmmm...

That's what I get from that. Don't go because you don't like the scene, but if you're not going because of fears you'll be tempted, then I say trust is an issue with you guys.

 

[Trustey]

It takes 2 to cheat, but only 1 to get raped/robbed/drugged. When you are married you don't only think about cheating.

I don't know where you guys live but here in Florida its not a safe thing to go clubbing and run around as a woman.

Thats a very good point. Women can holler about being strong independent women all day, but sometimes its nice to have a guy who actually gives a damn about something other than screwing you watching your back.

 

[ProgMatinee]

Again, so you guys don't have 100 percent trust in yourselves... Hmmm...

That's what I get from that. Don't go because you don't like the scene, but if you're not going because of fears you'll be tempted, then I say trust is an issue with you guys.

Trust is obviously important, but that doesn't mean you should test the trust or test the relationship.

If you are truly secure in your relationship, then you wouldn't have the desire to go to clubs alone' which I think would create a shadow of a doubt in a lot of people.

A having trust in B is crucial, but B should respect A and not put that trust to test.

 

[Voorhees27]

I trust my wife with whatever she chooses to do with her friends. We both have no interests in clubs though, hell I outgrew that many years ago and she never really cared for them in the first place.

Still I can see where some men may feel uncomfertable about their wives going to clubs. I know when I was young I was looking to bang anything that moved. Yes I was that kind of guy.

Still if you REALLY do trust your wife you will also trust her judgement too. If you don't then you either have a insecurity issue or don't have that great of a bond in your relationship.

Just my 2 cents

 

[The Chaver]

My ex-boyfriend liked it when I went out with the girls because I always stopped at his house later half corked and horny as hell.

That's always nice...

 

[Kabukiman]

Still if you REALLY do trust your wife you will also trust her judgement too.)

Truly the wisest words ever spoken by someone with a killer robot avatar.

 

[The Ween]

I always went to rock clubs where you watched bands and sat around and drank. I haven't been to one of those in years. Now biker bars, there was some fun.

I'd rather go to dinner or something.

 

[ProgMatinee]

Thats true, a lot of people have insecurity issues that are wholly unrelated to the trust level they have with their spouses. That doesn't make your trust in your spouse weak, its just psychology. Especially if you've been cheated on before in previous relationships.

If you're able to put 100% trust in your spouse, I say you've either never been cheated on or you never found out about it. Because once being cheated on there is no 100% trust ever again.

 

[mr.thrifty]

I'm not attracted to the type of woman who needs/wants to go to clubs or the like. so as far as I'm concerned the question is null and void for me as I wouldn't be in the situtation in the first place. some people like to go out and do the club thing and such and some are more or less homebodies; which ever you are more power to ya.

now if you're in a relationship where the two of you are on different sides of the equation, then I would say you either need to have full trust or gtfo.

 

[BadMoon]

I don't care what my girlfriend does. She always asks me to go out with her and her friends and occasionally I go. However, she knows its not really my thing and doesn't care if I go or not. She always offers though and always goes out with a bunch of her girlfriends. Wait a minute what am I thinking! I should go more often.

Edit:
Now my Ex-Wife I always hated it when she would go out. I thought she acted like a whore when she got drunk and would always flirt with guys and stuff. Guess I was right about one thing she did end up being a whore and I had every reason to get upset when she wanted to go out.

 

[Eli26]

It takes 2 to cheat, but only 1 to get raped/robbed/drugged. When you are married you don't only think about cheating.

I don't know where you guys live but here in Florida its not a safe thing to go clubbing and run around as a woman.

Then women should never leave their houses. All the girlfriends I had in the past went with large groups of friends. If you can trust your gf to go out with your friends, and as long as she's with a group, like mine is... then you should have nothing to sweat.

I don't concern myself about what ifs. You can't control situations out of your grasp... I will leave my house, despite the fact that yeah I could get hit by a car, someone could shoot me... nobody can predict these things. But you need to trust that things will be alright.

My friend got punched in the face the other day for walking down a street minding his own business. This wasn't in a bad neighbourhood or near a club. ^^^^ happens. Living under a rock isn't always the best solution, because that rock could smush you. Smush you good.

 

[Eli26]

Truly the wisest words ever spoken by someone with a killer robot avatar.

I agree, and the fact it came from a guy from Edmonton is mindboggling. MINDBOGGLING!

 

[The Mike]

I say doesn't matter as long as they don't do the deed. Removing alchohol from an alchoholic's house isn't cheating the recovery process.

Granted but if they never take a drink do you know they are an alcoholic or just doing the "Just in case" which is in itself implicit of a non trust relationship.

It takes 2 to cheat, but only 1 to get raped/robbed/drugged. When you are married you don't only think about cheating. I don't know where you guys live but here in Florida its not a safe thing to go clubbing and run around as a woman.

Rapes, Robberies and Drugs can occur anywhere in all reality. Do they happen at Clubs or I should say in the after more often yes of course but if we are bringing worst case scenarios, which is the first rule of high school debate to bring your point to its farthest common denominator and expect your opponent to concede, a lazy tactic at that, then one could argue that Rapes occur in people's houses. There was a home invasion that occurred on the news not too long ago where a woman was raped, does that mean I can't leave my wife home alone? There was a string of Craig's List robberies that occured in the past month where someone was having meeting places in obscure spots and then robbing and at times beating them, does that mean I shouldn't let my wife participate in that site? Ridiculous.

The OP was eluding to worries about Rapes, Drugging and Robberies, lets keep perspective and not bring ^^^^^^^ debates into this.

All I know is better men than me have failed their wives through cheating or disrespectful flirtations. We decided at the beginning of our relationship that the best way to beat temptation is to just nip it in the bud. Small sacrifice imo since the club scene really isn't all that anyway.

So you are avoiding temptation in the guise that you are unsure, both of you, that someone wouldn't crack? The Club scene is just a template for behavior but most adulterous relationships begin in places overtly innocent like the Supermarket or the Park watching the kids....remove the club scene where people are worried about alcohol creating liquid cheaters and is the stance the same?