Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Dec 15th, 2017)

[Chakor]

Any POTC film > TLJ

Even At World's End, the weakest of the Pirates movies, is an Oscar compared to TLJ... or any SW movie after 1983.

 

[TaliBane]

Damn wish they left this in the film

Party night for the fish nuns?

Maybe it's the Annual Lactating Seacow Festival. Green-blue milk flows until dawn.

 

[Khev]

Hahaha ... but just so you know us 'Haters' aren't really haters, our problem is that we care way too much about Star Wars. We enjoy the lore, like the characters that we have grown up with and just want to see good Star Wars movies that don't retroactively take a cow pat on the previous movies. So I guess you could say we are... the 'Lovers' ... no wait that came out wrong... um my point is that um yeh those cows in a field have good sense is all.... so there [phew really showed Khev how wrong he was]



I totally get where you are coming from and can understand why you enjoyed the movie. You went into TLJ with an open mind and were happy to sit back and watch little Rian play with his Luke Skywalker action figure in the Star Wars sand pit.

BUT...[sorry I didn't mean to shout], this is where the problem lies for most of the 'Haters' dammit I mean 'Lovers' ... I mean, aw forget it. Luke is a character that we have seen grow and evolve through three movies. Many of us read the EU books, comics, played the games or even had our own adventures with kenner Luke. I'm sure a lot of us spent hours chatting with friends, speculating how episodes 7,8 and 9 might turn out. Therein lies the first problem, for a lot of us long time fans it's hard to do a 'Khev' (sorry I didn't mean to make that a thing lol) and leave our own personal baggage at the door when we see these movies. We all have expectations of how we want to see the character served and with Luke Skywalker it's even more prominent than all the others including Han Solo. I believe the reason for this might be because for many of the older male fans, Luke is 'us' in the Star Wars universe.

Now I'm sure we all wanted to be Han because he gets the girl, has a cool ship, his hairy dog is his sidekick, he kicks back in cantinas, dabbles on the wrong side of the law (but not too much), is sarcastic, has a great dress sense (haha), shoots first, is mysterious and is an all round cool guy.

BUT...[sorry keep shouting] we may have wanted to be Han but we weren't, we were Luke. Han was confident, had already been off adventuring and knew how to chat up the ladies. As kids, most of us were on a moisture farm looking out at the twin suns, full of hope and optimism, a bit awkward but couldn't wait to go off on our own adventures.

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We watched Luke get swept up in the greatest adventure of all and we went with him. We saw him grow from a wide-eyed kid into a Jedi Master. He made life long friends who he never gave up on and who never gave up on him. He repeatedly got knocked down and things didn't always come easy to him. But Luke worked hard, never gave up and always looked for the good in people (even when they didn't deserve it). He learned from his failures, earned his victories and by the end of the OT he was a strong, confident young man. He appeared to be at peace with himself and he was content with his place in the universe. He was who we wanted to be once we had grown up. [Man the OT had some good life lessons and role models I wonder if those are in the ST ]

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So here is the catch... for many older fans, 'we' were Luke Skywalker or he represented our hopes and dreams as kids. TLJ takes Luke and says but yeh that guy ended up as the biggest failure of all. He gave up on everyone, his friends, his nephew, his students and himself. He wanted to die but couldn't even do that right so now he is milk slurping hermit weirdo.

This just seems so far out of character, not only to the Luke of the OT but also to the Luke of the EU and the Luke of our imaginations. It is also deliberately the opposite of what fans wanted for Luke... why do that? As it is a conscious decision to treat Luke in this way, on some level TLJ is actually insulting. Not only because it disregards our role model as a complete loser but as Luke represents 'us' it implies that LFL thinks that 'we' (it's older loyal fan base) are also hermit milk slurping losers too (we probably are to some extent haha but we don't want Star Wars to tell us that) and that we should just force evaporate away.

I made some assumptions here when I spoke for the other haters but this is how it is for me (I suspect it might ring true for other people too). Even though I like the force projection scene (it's a really neat Luke thing to do), I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to accept that this Luke is the same character as the one I have known for most of my life (I saw Star Wars young!). TLJ looked pretty and sounded good (fun with Rose and Finn is the worst part of any Star Wars score ever) but it got a lot wrong. Whilst I can forgive most things (I like the prequels A LOT) I apparently draw the line at LFL taking a cow pat on Luke Skywalker.

So I bid you good day sir [slurps green milk, wipes excess from beard whilst pulling face at Khev and stomps off out of the thread].

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[I can't leave this thread really it's too fun, now I'm force ghost Bravomite - hanging around zapping things with lightening]

This is an excellent post; insightful as well as entertaining to read. It deserves a lengthy reply D) but right now I'm beat after a long day and will come back to it within the next couple of days.

 

[Darth Skywalker]

I read that they cut that new scene out because it made Luke even MORE stupid.

THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST!!!

 

[YoNoSe]

I bet it made him the stupidest worst garbage evahz.

 

[Darth Skywalker]

They could have made him a hermit doing nothing and the reason being that he’s busted his *** saving the galaxy for 50 years and he’s lost his connection with the force. He thinks good vs evil is neverending and just running in circles and it drained him. Working with Rey lets him tap back into the Force somehow.

ANYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN WHAT WE GOT.

I would have rather seen Chewie keep his loyalties to Luke and stay on the island while Rey sneaks out and raises the Xwing from the water and takes off to help the resistance. Then Luke knows she’s in over her head and goes on the Falcon and saves her *** along with everyone elses!!!

HE’S FRICKIN LUKE SKYWALKER! We needed him to be awesome!!!!!!! How do you have the return of the LEGEND who went through hell and busted his *** and Mark Hamill looking awesome and bringing his A-game and you have a 200+ million dollar budget and then you completely BLOW IT?! UGGgHHhhH!

 

[YoNoSe]

I don't think Johnson or Kennedy would've had the balls to treat Harrison Ford the way they did Hamill. If Han lived and Ford disagreed with Han's character, you damn well better believe they would've listened to him. But Hamill has no Hollywood weight or the celebrity status & history of Ford, soooo... No need to appease him.

They treated Ford the same. He signed a contract and they paid him to act and promote the movie.

They even broke his leg and he still whined about it less than Hamill.

He did the same for Crystal Skull. He knows what he’s there for.

 

[Darth Skywalker]

How did you not have Luke battle the Knights of Ren?! The First Order’s troops and weapons and giant vehicles? Kylo Ren for real? And a super duper force battle against goldfinger SNOKE?! Rian Johnson is the king of *********!

 

[loki2371]

They treated Ford the same. He signed a contract and they paid him to act and promote the movie.

They even broke his leg and he still whined about it less than Hamill.

He did the same for Crystal Skull. He knows what he’s there for.

Ford could care less about the Han Solo character. He wanted him to die in ESB in 1980. So to him it was nothing more than a payday. He doesn't need SW, and a bad movie would never effect his career.

 

[TaliBane]

This is an excellent post; insightful as well as entertaining to read. It deserves a lengthy reply D) but right now I'm beat after a long day and will come back to it within the next couple of days.

That is SO Khev to respond to a post about what it means to "do a Khev" by warning that's he's about to... do a Khev.

They treated Ford the same. He signed a contract and they paid him to act and promote the movie.

They even broke his leg and he still whined about it less than Hamill.

He did the same for Crystal Skull. He knows what he’s there for.

Yeah there is absolutely no comparison between $20m man HF and "first major payday in like 30 years" Hamill. Not even close.

 

[YoNoSe]

That is SO Khev to respond to a post about what it means to "do a Khev" by warning that's he's about to... do a Khev.



Yeah there is absolutely no comparison between $20m man HF and "first major payday in like 30 years" Hamill. Not even close.

If being the richest is what you’re concerned with.

If you believe everything Hamill says, he only signed on because he thought Ford wouldn’t and it would never happen.

Hamill doesn’t “need” SW. But it helps.

 

[Darth Skywalker]

So yeah why did Luke’s robot hand disappear with him. When Anakin appears as a ghost at the end of Jedi he has his real arms and legs again. So will Luke get his real hand back?

Now that I think about it, I don’t care anymore.

 

[YoNoSe]

So yeah why did Luke’s robot hand disappear with him.

Now you’re talking.

It should have fell from the cliff and destroyed another nun wagon.

 

[Darth Skywalker]

It should have crawled away and piloted the xwing and killed every last survivor in the movie, then gave us all the finger.

 

[YoNoSe]

Maybe a rectal exam? Could be something spikey up there.

 

[TaliBane]

If being the richest is what you’re concerned with.

If you believe everything Hamill says, he only signed on because he thought Ford wouldn’t and it would never happen.

Hamill doesn’t “need” SW. But it helps.

This is Hamill's last great hurrah - as an actor, and financially.

Unfortunately, in so doing, he was asked to betray everything he created in the iconic character he is inseparable from.

That... is what they call a dilemma.

And he did what most people in dilemmas do: tried to have his cake and eat it too.

It should have crawled away and piloted the xwing and killed every last survivor in the movie, then gave us all the finger.

Honestly, the way things went down in TLJ, nothing would have surprised me.

 

[YoNoSe]

This is Hamill's last great hurrah - as an actor, and financially.

Unfortunately, in so doing, he was asked to betray everything he created in the iconic character he is inseparable from.

That... is what they call a dilemma.

And he did what most people in dilemmas do: tried to have his cake and eat it too.

His last dilemma cake. Back to the obscurity of a voiceover career actors would kill for and the exposure of a near-unanimously praised performance. With only one more likely appearance in another guaranteed blockbuster.

RIP, Mark Hamill.

 

[Otomofan]

Why was his robot hand showing at all? He never bothered to get the fleshy part fixed after they blew up the second death star?

What did he do....pick at it til all that was left was exposed robotics? That's disgusting.

 

[Adolfo]

Only death can save Star Wars

 

[xipotec]

Why why why.....


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