The Batman (June 25, 2021)

[matticus]

I watched it, finally.

It starts off really clunky. The scene in the beginning where Battinson STARES with his BAT-STARE at the ORPHAN because they're BOTH.ORPHANS.MEANING.THEY.BOTH.HAVE.NO.DAAAAAAAAAADS(althoughthekidhasamumstillbutwhatever) was held too much. Honestly, his Batman was written like an angsty 15 YO who tries to be as cringy as possible. He's not a Gothic Brooder, he's literally every parody about Batman being an autist personified. It gets better as it progresses, and apart from a few jarring shots I can't find any technical flaws that stick out that much. The problem for me is that it tries to be uber-serious and create an atmosphere, but the dialogue and writing are so cheesy, the entire thing is such a PG-13 Fincher rip-off, and Riddler is so hilariously (badly) overacted, that it turns into some sort of forgotten late-90s Law & Order: Gimp Edition special episode. It both feels too boring and drawn out, and at the same time it doesn't immerse you in the world because it's a constant rotation of about 5 sets. The aesthetic is just throwing red overlays over dark lighting conditions.

It's not the worst thing ever, but it literally is "dood, Batman, but, like, it's directed by Fincher cuz he did, like, Se7en bro!11", just tacked on with a bunch of [current day] politics and then rounded up with bad cheese that doesn't even let the film be a genre-noir rip-off. The speech at the end is ridiculous, but then again so was most of the dialogue. Really, a "you're not my dad Alfred, because MY DAD IS DEAD" line 5 seconds after the guy walks in? And then you follow it up with "uwu awkward uwu" bonding/make-up? In a 3 hour movie you couldn't find time to let that breathe? It's filled with such nonsensical scenes and everyone generally seems as if they're working in a B-Movie from the late 90s.

Riddler... Jesus. This is the guy people found scary? This is the guy women on Twitter and Tumblr are thirsting for? Why you call him an incel I don't understand. I get that this place is full of 50 YOs who get their news from second-hand sources (not judging, just saying that I don't expect people here to be keeping up with trends as they evolve in the interwebs), but incel was a term created by lonely autists on the internet to describe themselves. The balding-at-20-while-being-5'5" crowd just gathering to find some company in self-pity. That's what the term was, before mass media and social media turned into the new version of the "virgin" insult. That's all it is. Everything else is out-of-context second-hand nonsense. It grew beyond that, but that's the term's origins.

I mention that not to get into a social discussion, but just to show that Riddler wasn't that and I don't get why every news site treats him as a "real problem". He was literally just an overacted zany killer with a motif and a generic political angle. There's been countless of politically-angled killers both IRL and in fiction, and nothing makes this one [current year], or incel-y or whatever else. Even the usual "REEEEEEE F*MALES REEEEE" definition of "incel" doesn't apply, as he's literally just angry at "corruption" and "lies". None of that has anything to do with the incel/virgin/woman-hater narrative. He could be an asexual furry with gender dysphoria or whatever else; nothing about his sexuality/romantic life is brought up. But moving beyond that, he was just cringy. I felt like I was watching the Riddler version of the Jokah Baybee. How Dano was reduced to this I don't understand. He wasn't intimidating, he wasn't "chilling" in his "realism", he was a true crime caricature that's a dime a dozen in fiction, and came off as an unhinged manchild who watched too much anime and tried to scare his bullies with gerbils, instead of an unhinged motivated sociopath on a crusade. His outbursts and mannerisms broke all immersion of this "dark noir epic". Sure, he caused a lot of damage so he was effective but his portrayal, not his actions, was laughable.

I can theoretically see why people would like this, but I just found it rather mediocre. It tried to do a couple of things but it was an amateurish approach. Oz was fun and I found Gordon likeable, but I think that's mostly because I like Farrell in general and also enjoy Wright very much and find him a "relaxing" actor. Kravitz was pretty good, Turturo is always enjoyable, Serkis wasn't given anything to do and that's pretty much it. Pattinson seemed as if he was regretting every single minute he was playing dress-up and just went into automode to deal with the awkwardness. How much is his fault and how much is the silly writing's I don't know, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

From the way this turned out and with Reeves' comments on hypothetical sequels, I doubt I'll be buying any dollies from the entire saga, unless they do some great translation of the Owls and the Talon(s) costume-wise. I'm mostly waiting for QS/IA to get the Arkham license and give me a great Ras tbh. I've said it before but I mostly enjoy the Gothic aspect of Batman, and this is full-on "neo-noir" pastiche, so I doubt I'll find much to interest me. I'll probably buy a Battinson down the line if they give him a better costume, if only just to have a Battinson, but all in all, my hype went to 0 and I have little interest in any follow-ups, bar seeing Pattinson again.

THE PHYSICAL SCARS OF THE PHYSICAL WOUNDS WE SUFFER IN OUR DAILY LIVES, SUCH AS FROM A PAPERCUT OR AN ACCIDENT WITH THE HAMMER AS WE TRY TO HANG A FRAME, MAY HEAL, BUT THE METAPHORICAL SCARS IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS AND SOULS, WHETHER THESE BE REAL OR IF THIS MEAT BE ALL THAT WE ARE, WILL NOT SO EASILY HEAL, AGAIN, METAPHORICALLY FOR THEY ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE PHYSICAL SCARS MENTIONED BEFORE, SO WE NEED HOPE AND NOT VENGEANCE, FOR THE FORMER IS HOPEFUL AND BRINGS COMMUNITIES TOGETHER WHILE THE LATTER IS APPARENTLY AND SURELY A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE CRUSADE THAT HAS NO EFFECTS BECAUSE OF REASONS, SO FROM NOW ON I WILL BE NOT VENGEANCE BUT HOPE AND WILL HEAL BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOSPIRITUAL WOUNDS IN BOTH ME AND MY CITY, WHICH OF COURSE IS COMPROMISED OF SEVERAL PEOPLE WITH BOTH PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOSPIRITUAL WOUNDS WHOSE LIVES I WILL AIM TO TRULY IMPROVE BY ACTING AS A BEACON OF HOPE AND CHANGE.

-Batman's Hopeful Journal, Entry 19/04/2022

PS: Acne Joker is still ridiculous, and the scene with him and the Riddler is one of the worst acted pieces of film and tv I've seen. I could grab random theater kids and they'd do better. I don't know what it is about this movie and having talented actors deliver such lukewarm to bad performances.

Spoiler

Now bring on Doctor Chad.

I know Victor really loves this film. He is just working out his feelings right now:

 

[Victοr]

I know Victor really loves this film. He is just working out his feelings right now:

I honestly forgot about it the next day. If they continue like that, at least I’ll save money on the dolls…

 

[matticus]

I honestly forgot about it the next day. If they continue like that, at least I’ll save money on the dolls…

I can see that on the villains, but I love my Battinson.

Btw, seen a Mads Thrawn custom figure on a FB group yesterday.

 

[jye4ever]

 

[Darth Snoopy]

Snyder > Reeves

lol

Some Freaks would say that's blasphemy and that you have no taste.

I have no problem with Snyder.

For the record, the only Bat director I dislike is Joel Schumacher. Sorry, Jye.

​

 

[ironwez20]

This movie really divided the fans . Weird. I think it’s such a good Batman movie. I don’t know what people wanted. Maybe the next film they will do it better to get people together. A lot of people keep saying it’s slow but that’s why I like it. I guess it’s just to slow for people ?

i still think it’s good.

 

[ironwez20]

Some Freaks would say that's blasphemy and that you have no taste.

I have no problem with Snyder.

For the record, the only Bat director I dislike is Joel Schumacher. Sorry, Jye.

​

I don’t have a problem with Snyder either but his fanbase is some of the most obnoxious/toxic people I’ve seen.

 

[matticus]

 

[Victοr]

I can see that on the villains, but I love my Battinson.

Btw, seen a Mads Thrawn custom figure on a FB group yesterday.

I’ll buy a Battinson at some point, but I’m waiting for the sequel suits. I love me some Pattinson.

His brother Lars is probably going to play live-action Thrawn. Me, I’m rooting for FB3 Jude & Mads figures. Who knows when there’ll be a good Hannibal figure, and they’ve both been wasted in the MCU.

 

[loki2371]

I still can't seem to care about this movie..

Last night I was looking through my streaming services and thought maybe I'll watch this on HBOMax... Then I thought nah, I'd rather watch Wrath Of Man on Amazon Prime...

And then I even tried watching The Marksman afterwards, as the 2 movies runtime combined would be almost the same as attempting to watch Batinson.. I enjoyed Wrath Of Man, gave up on The Marksman and scanned through most of it..

I just know I'm not gonna like this. And I'm tired of watching movies that get me angry. I may never watch this. Maybe if the eventual sequel looks good then I'll be tempted to go back and watch this.

 

[Khev]

This movie really divided the fans .

Did it though? The praise seemed pretty deafening and universal when it hit theaters. The only negativity I seem to notice are from a few naysayers who never really wanted to watch it in the first place and are just chiming in now that it's on HBO.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Cling to Nolan, they will. As those who clung to Burton before them. Yes, yes, but now... we must eat. Come, come...

 

[jye4ever]

I still can't seem to care about this movie..

Last night I was looking through my streaming services and thought maybe I'll watch this on HBOMax... Then I thought nah, I'd rather watch Wrath Of Man on Amazon Prime...

And then I even tried watching The Marksman afterwards, as the 2 movies runtime combined would be almost the same as attempting to watch Batinson.. I enjoyed Wrath Of Man, gave up on The Marksman and scanned through most of it..

I just know I'm not gonna like this. And I'm tired of watching movies that get me angry. I may never watch this. Maybe if the eventual sequel looks good then I'll be tempted to go back and watch this.

Oh gosh yes yes…

 

[ironwez20]

Did it though? The praise seemed pretty deafening and universal when it hit theaters. The only negativity I seem to notice are from a few naysayers who never really wanted to watch it in the first place and are just chiming in now that it's on HBO.

I mean there is this group on Facebook I’m in where people are basically crying about “twilight Batman” or it being to long. It’s honestly strange. I think most people like it but you have a group who either are fans of one type of Batman or think every superhero movie now must be a cgi comedy fest with bright colors like thor.

 

[Captain Clown]

 

[ironwez20]

Watched the film again. Still so good and atmospheric. It would be a solid 10 if it were 2 hrs.

 

[Captain Clown]

Yeah, I think It would definitely be a 10/10 if it were tightened up a bit. The first hour, from the beginning to after Alfred opens the mail bomb, is fantastic and had me on the edge of my seat. It feels like that’s the point where it slows down, although it’s still good.

Waiting for the physical release to see this again. Not a fan of HBO Max on PS4.

 

[matticus]

I mean there is this group on Facebook I’m in where people are basically crying about “twilight Batman” or it being to long. It’s honestly strange. I think most people like it but you have a group who either are fans of one type of Batman or think every superhero movie now must be a cgi comedy fest with bright colors like thor.

Question is why are you still a part of this group?

Yeah, I think It would definitely be a 10/10 if it were tightened up a bit. The first hour, from the beginning to after Alfred opens the mail bomb, is fantastic and had me on the edge of my seat. It feels like that’s the point where it slows down, although it’s still good.

Waiting for the physical release to see this again. Not a fan of HBO Max on PS4.

Same here. Cannot wait to get a 4k copy. I just wish everything had Imax ratio instead of the black bars.

 

[Captain Clown]

Yep. It sucks how the IMAX ratios get shafted so hard. We just recently got BvS with the IMAX ratio.

Do we know if this’ll come with the IMAX ratio? I actually never caught this in IMAX, so I guess I wouldn’t know what I was missing.

 

[jye4ever]

Yep. It sucks how the IMAX ratios get shafted so hard. We just recently got BvS with the IMAX ratio.

Do we know if this’ll come with the IMAX ratio? I actually never caught this in IMAX, so I guess I wouldn’t know what I was missing.

I don’t believe they filmed with Imax ratios.

Ok is everyone sitting.

Everyone I mean Star Wars fans specifically Khev lol

I just read that the cinematographer for the Batman was the cinematographer for Rogue One and he said that he specifically wanted to light The Batman like he lit Vader in RO!