Unconditional love, is it real?

[pixletwin]

Rory has mental problems.

 

[El Roranous]

Rory has mental problems.

There is no such thing as normal. There is traditional but I wouldn't even consider that a degree of normal. Varying shades of colors, no superiority.

 

[pixletwin]

Rory you are starting to sound like Creech. This is scary.

 

[creecher]

Rory has mental problems.

Rory you are starting to sound like Creech. This is scary.

You were right the first time. Uhhh, both times. Okay, I have problems, but they're my problems, no need to call them names.

 

[pixletwin]

 

[El Roranous]

Rory you are starting to sound like Creech. This is scary.

I take that as a compliment.

 

[Eli26]

I take that as a compliment.

creecher and rory... address... you... me...Hulk PF... BAM!

 

[Bannister]

Rory has mental problems.

We all have mental problems. Reading some of the stuff here(I am not talking about Rory, I am talking about the board in general) sure makes me feel like my mental problems aren't near as bad as I once thought.

 

[-Super Hans-]

"Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating"
"nope...must some weird alien emotion"

 

[Skiman]

I say yes as well. My parents weren't there once they split, my Dad went one way and my Mother the other. They both delved into drugs and alcohol, and were so wrapped up in their lives that they didn't really pay much attention to me. My Mother died and my Dad only got worse.

He bribed me into allowing him to stay with a woman whom he KNEW was abusing me, he shut me down on every occasion that I had something to be proud of, he told me my dreams were impossible to achieve, and when I needed him to be there he never was. He missed my graduation in Boot Camp, which is far more devastating if you have ever been there. I needed him dearly then, but he crushed my soul underfoot by not attending. He didn't even bring an empty card to my Wedding.

But I love him. I may not spend much time with him, and I may still be very wounded from the years of pain, but I still love him. He's my Dad.

I am sure I will be the same with my kids, it's a bond that can't be erased.

WOW, if I thought I was wasn't reading my own story here, my parents weren't into drugs well I guess alcohol is a drug so my father was a addict. My parents split and went their separate ways whenever I was 8. I was a army brat basically and we moved a lot across the country until I was going into school, then I guess they decided to stay in one state or country for that matter. My father basically married my mother in Panama City (Central America) and brought her over to the US in their mid twenties, she new very little english and was self taught. Anyways my father basically left us dry whenever I was 8 and just didn't really say why or where he was going. He left my mother with a child to bring up in a foreign country. While the short time he was in my life anything I ever did was not good enough, with my art, with my learning skills, athletic ability/sports... he always critized but in a not growng/good way. It was more of a put down that I would never succeed...

As I grew of was blessed that there were others that wanted to take care of me and show me the ways even his own side of the family, his brothers and sisters supporting me and giving help when needed. I had many friends from school, especially with being a sports kid, I knew that was the ticket to success if I did well in school or sports maybe there would be a chance of a scholarship. My mother made many friends along with watching my games throughout summer ball and high school sports. Anyways I did very well that I earned some rides/full scholarships to many colleges and was consider a scholar athlete to schools across the US. I didn't want to leave my mother alone in the state so I chose colleges and Universities that were close or within driving distance to my mothers house. I ended up graduating with my Computer Science bachelors/masters degree and I guess I got into computers early since my father was an Army Intelligence Officer(very smart intelligent man but lack for social skills I would say and also work was above anything else including his family) and had lots of the equipment/PC's around whenever I was young and I guess I took to a liking on making it a career.

Throughout all these years, I hated him, for what he done. For leaving my mother and I alone all these years without any communication but this hate fueled me for all those years on accomplishing everything that I have today. I will never listen to anyone that says you can't do something or that it's just impossible to make anything of your life. All I needed to do was think about him and constant put downs and let downs and I knew I needed to strive at anything to become successful to prove him wrong. To this day it still strived my amateur bodybuilding career!!! I will never raise my family and treat my wife as he did and the cycle stops here at my generation. My kids will be unconditionally loved and never feel the struggle that I once had growing up with my mother struggling to make ends meet.

Well after all that background on my childhood, guess what he's back.... This year he came back into my life. Sick, ill, almost on his death bed. I'm not sure what is going on with his health but my fathers side of the family is very big and he came home to his sisters home for his own well being. All the family members were in distress about what would happen, if I were to able to see him again. Does he want to speak to his only child.... I made the decision to go see my father this year after 23 years of neglect, my future wife to be at my side (brave sole she is) which is my partner in life forever which I can probably write another if not longer message about her (never will I meet another soul like her). My father all weak and battered, frailed and skinny sickly looks into my eyes and just breaks down unconditionally with remorse, regret and apologizies..

I forgave him, a moment that I will never regret and will never forget. Some how I still love this man and I have become the bigger/stronger(not physically but mentally/spiritually) man. Even my mother was happy that I at least went up to him and talked, to maybe squash all this tension, bless her soul as well, I'll always be there for her!

Sorry for making this long but I can relate to loving someone that has done terrible things.

On a happier note I know that my cat Sadie loves me unconditionally along with Sideshow shippers.

 

[Skiman]

Dogs RULE.

Cats RULE

COFFINS!!!!!!! (inside joke between me and Ill Jed)

 

[BuffyGirl]

I believe in it. I am completely and unconditionally in love with my sweetheart.

Now from what Jen wrote...are you sure we aren't from the same family???

 

[Morbach]

had to say yes. My sister has always been there for me and basically raised me. She's the closest family I got. so if she commited a murder or something horrible I would be disapointed in her but I could never turn my back on her. She's always been there for me.

 

[El Roranous]

That was a beautiful story Skiman- I am really glad you grew up alright and that you were able to forgive your father. A lot of people wouldn't have made it through that mess successfully.

Cats do rule!! Wish I could have one but my GF is allergic to them.

 

[Skiman]

That was a beautiful story Skiman- I am really glad you grew up alright and that you were able to forgive your father. A lot of people wouldn't have made it through that mess successfully.

Cats do rule!! Wish I could have one but my GF is allergic to them.

Thank you Rory

Yeah I kind of joke around with it now and relate it to Star Wars if anyone asks, of course me being Luke

He'll be invited to the wedding this year in Oct.

 

[The Mike]

Funny thing is you can't apply logic to love, I've never seen or read of an emotion causing so many illogical and irrational actions and reactions. Any who really try to logically explain the in and outs of love should just save themselves the headaches and just bang their head against a wall.

 

[creecher]

creecher and rory... address... you... me...Hulk PF... BAM!

Yeah yeah yeah your mom. So when are you sending her over with Hulk Pfffff? Hmmm. When? Gimme da BAM!

 

[Shatterer of Dreams]

I feel Jeff Dean'd.

wow i have my own action now.......

 

[Shatterer of Dreams]

i can't except unconditional love, others can believe in it and ultimately it comes down to personal experinces. In my life i have never seen anything remotely close to what "unconditional love" is supposed to be.

I can't back the parent/child theroy because of my own parents...they threw me to the side when I became inconvienient for them. I still do not talk to my mom (she has said some outright lies to my sister so that my step-father looked good in her eyes) and my dad recently started to make amends, but those wounds are deep and their examples show me that love is not unconditional.

does this make make me a cold-hearted jerk for not being a bigger person than they were and loving them unconditionally? I really don't know.

We all have our own ideas as towhat love is and if it can be unconditional and it is impossible to make one answer be a catch-all.

 

[The Mike]

i can't except unconditional love

Of course not, you shatter dreams for a living.