Soooo, I saw on the 25th and I thought it was... eh. Nothing more, nothing less. I won't go "BvS in-depth", but considering just a sentence doesn't cut it around these parts, I'll go into a bit more detail. So, let's jump right in:
The Good:
-Will-Shot: He's not as bad as the trailers made, but he's not a direct translation of the comic book character. Still, he's enjoyable, Smith's good, despite the cringy and cheesy lines, the costume is bad-ass, and he's got a pretty cool emotional journey. So, yeah, he's definitely the highlight of the movie. I enjoyed the nods to his FA costume in the Batman/Daughter scene, plus the nod to his most well-known image with the bullet-rain.
-Waller: Ruthless, calculating, just a straight up "bad *****". Pretty much a direct translation from the book. So, yeah, Davis killed it. As a character, you pretty much hate her, but hey, that's the Wall... In the end, a near-perfect translation of her Pre-Nu52 self, so yeah, I'm definitely a fan.
The Average:
-Most of the Squad: Boomerang was funny, Croc was more than a dumb muscle (reminded me of Earth-1 Croc), etc, etc. They were enjoyable, just not good, fleshed out or written well enough to make it into the "Good" category. I mean, sure, Boomerang's pony was a nice touch and Croc was funny, but eh, they didn't "wow" me. The rest were forgettable, so there's that as well. Flagg was kinda cool though...
-Quinn: Robbie played Nu52 Quinn perfectly but, thing is, I... kinda hate Nu52 Quinn. She's annoying as hell and she's easily one of the most overratted characters ever. Still, she was good in it so I won't put her in the "Bad" category, but considering my feelings towards the character itself, every time she appeared on screen, I was kinda dissapointed...
-Enchantress' Weird Dance Moves: They were hawt... What? With the blue thingies and bikini she looked like an exotic stripper. Twas hawt. So, uh, yeah, that's it. Bad character, but sexy dance moves...
The Bad:
-The Pace: This felt like a 40 minute mash-up of various scenes from other movies. Badly put together, disjointed, no sense of continuity, it was generally a mess. I'm not talking about the plot here, merely about the way this movie jumped from scene to scene trying to resemblance a logical narrative. You never got "lost", but it felt as if I was reading a book and certain pages were torn.
-The Enchantress and her Brother: They're probably in the Top 5 worst villains of CBMs. Weak motivation, no characterization for the Bro, very weak performance from Delavinge, all that. She just gathers that people worship machines now, somehow that is, and her response is to create a machine, somehow, again, to wipe out humans cause she's... angry, I guess? Yeah, as far as motivations go, that's straigh-out of a Saturday morning cartoon.
-The Writting: I just... how much cringe can you pack in not even two hours? Diablo's "I've got a new family noaowh" makes zero sense. Yes, I get it, they banded together, but it's unearned. That happens in the span of a couple of hours. In movies like Lilo and Stitch it takes days or months for them to bond. Here, after exchanging a couple of words, they're suddenly "family". Give me a break...
Moving on, we have Harley's "what did the world ever do about us?"... *****, you're a psychopathic mess who killed who knows how many people, including a kid/teenager in Robin, all the while you fell in love with the worst person ever. It's not society's fault you're locked up, it's all on you. I actually cannot believe they included that. I just can't...
The chemicals scene. Did they raid a 15 year old girl's house and copy her fan-fiction? Because that part felt straight out of an internet fan-fiction about Dean Winchester in his furry form and Sherlock who's in an open relationship with the 11th Doctor and Watson... It was badly written and badly performed. So, yeah, "boooooo"...
The Awful:
-The Joker: Just... why? I mean, genuinely... why? Did Leto just find a couple of leftovers from his Dallas role and said "eh, **** it, I'll throw some akward laughing in there and I'm set". He moves like a hooker on red-bull, his laugh is horrendous, his mannerisms are straight out of an edgy 13 yer old's who like, totally listens to metal and worships, like, Lucifer, and he acts like a Joker fanboy. Seriously, there's nothing "Joker" about him at all in there. Azzarello's version was brutal, cunning and evil, so the comparisons don't work. He rubs himself on people, he uses the laughing hand way too often, he does nothing extremely vile throughout the film, and he behaves as a lovesick puppy with sexuality and identity issues.
He doesn't have the charm and playfulness of the classic Joker. He doesn't have the creep factor of the Nu52 Joker. He doesn't have the brutality of the Azzarello Joker. He doesn't have the complexity of Morrison's Joker. He's the most pedestrian version of the Joker I think. His lines are awful, Let's delivery is horrendous, his personal touches are out of place, his look is ridicullous, and so on and so forth. I'm firmly in the "worst Cinematic Joker ever" camp. Either get rid of the tats, the mannerisms and the like, or just kill him off. I'd rather have no Joker than a bad Joker...
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So, yeah, there you have it. A 5/10 and that's me being generous. Very few redeeming parts inside a pile of awfulness. If we're goign with the "this is DC's GotG" comparison, GotG smokes this in pretty much every way and it's not even a contest. For me anyway. I could see GotG any day of the week, but for SS, I think once is enough... It's a personal opinion though, so yeah...
PS: I'm sad for Slipknot. The guy who played him was a genuine fan, with a Marvel/DC pull-list and everything. I really hope Marvel snags him for a role now that he's done with DC. it's a shame that the only real fan go the short end of the stick. All the others are saying "we did it for the fans hur dur" when they haven't opened a comic book in their entire life, while the one person who did it for the fans, was wasted. Well, again, let's hope Marvel gets him for Red Wolf in AoS or something...
