Happy trees. Dancing bear. You guys!
On a serious note, I was out with Ma to lots of places today. Two doctors and to a nursing home, where we are applying for her to live. yep, finally, we are taking action.
Despite my best efforts, due to her slowly deteriorating health, it looks like she's going to have to have better care than I can do for her. I have tried so hard, and for so long, and to be honest, I am almost relieved that better care can be provided for her. I won't lie, it's a tough emotional period for me, has been for weeks. She's had a lot of anxiety and all and this just has to happen for us all. Now that I have accepted it, I kind of feel a sense of relief. Sad, but relief nonetheless.
I am still working, and to anyone asking still,
hang on! I am so working on so many heads! Every day I try to get to a point where I can post something finished, and I am close so much, but since I don't like to rush anything, and the last week or so has been so stressful that it taxes my "creative flow" I have really had to persevere to get any of the work done that I have.
So, I know this is so old and ongoing, I am even tired of repeating it, but try to remember that when I stopped to break for a while, in early April, I had done that whole run of Jokers and a lot more. If I hadn't stopped, I might be much further along, but it may have cost me more than just delays. At least I am quite rested paintwise, and have a smashingly cool work area now, so it is better for me (and all of you!) for having taken the break.
I just had no idea when I stopped that this period would become what it has.
How can anyone know something like this is coming?
Anyway, I actually look forward to her going. I will miss hell out of her of course, and it will change everything here at home in some major ways. But, one of the good ones will be, I won't have to worry about her as much on a daily basis, and another is that I can finally soar unabated with my work! That I assure you is something I need, want and desire, and so does she, for me. That has always been a factor, her sense that she was keeping me slowed and it has worn on her as much as me.
So, that's what's up now. I know I spell out more details than I should here, but all you guys have been so incredibly patient and kind and sharing with me over these last few months, and I feel I owe you all so much. I
will deliver! I need to say that. I know you all are caring and will be with me in spirit with this, but I feel I have to keep on reassuring you all, for my own sake, so I can keep my own spirits up and keep my work on point during this period.
This period will pass and I will persevere.
I just needed to let you all know that finally, steps are being taken, real steps, to see to my home issues, and my Mom's health, so that they are no longer in the way of my dreams and desires for my art and my future, but in a way that is best for all in my family that cares for her.
Any prayers and thoughts for her will be appreciated, as it's not all worked out yet, and I ned all the support I can muster. You all literally keep me smiling and upbeat, and that is something I am not sure my meager art can really repay, but I am damn sure trying!
More soon, videos, COMPLETED paintups, and so much more!
And again,
Thanks. I mean it. Thanks for letting me share this. It helps me to know you know.
More cool stuff to come!!!