I don't think Falcon knew about Tony's parents, at all. The only ones I feel knew were Cap and BW, because they were the ones in that underground bunker where Zola showed them what happened throughout the years. What I gleaned from his letter at the end, it's not that Cap didn't want to tell Tony, he just thought he was doing what was right in protecting his friend (Tony), in the same way that he was protecting Bucky. He knew how much pain it would cause Tony to tell him that his parents were actually murdered after he believed for so long that they perished in a car accident. Not only that, also throwing his best friend under the bus (Bucky) at the same time by saying it was actually him as Winter Soldier that was the murderer. I felt Cap was put in between a rock and a hard place in this film because I truly felt he was trying to do what he felt was best for the protection of both of his friends. He even acknowledged in his letter that he should have told Tony, but that he hopes that one day Tony could understand why he just couldn't bring himself to do so.
Tony directly didn't make Cap's team get thrown into prison, no, but Secretary Ross did essentially insinuate that if he could have his way, they would ALL (including Tony) be thrown into prison. Once at the beginning when he labeled them all as "dangerous" and gave his, "What do you call a group of....", speech, and then towards the end when he told Tony, "You're lucky you're not in one of these cells."
Tony was initially being loyal to him, but it sounds to me like Ross had his own agenda and was only feigning loyalty to Tony because Tony's opinion played into his agenda and he just used Tony to help him round up the rest of the Avengers, and once Tony had done that, wanted to incarcerate him also. So in that sense, who was actually right about these groups being run by people with agendas?
here is Mackie and Stan talking about it, funny interview but check out 3:33 for romance with Black Widow
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