InArt: The Lord of the Rings - Aragorn 1:6

[chrisstbh]

What happened...?

He kidnapped Viggo Mortensen and forces him to stand in a large glass box in full Aragorn cosplay from dusk til dawn.

 

[Mr.E]

No. Just losing interest in the hobby, and life in general.

It isn't bringing much enjoyment any more. At best, it's a temporary (and empty) distraction from what's underlying everything else.

 

[hoodonit00]

No. Just losing interest in the hobby, and life in general.

It isn't bringing much enjoyment any more. At best, it's a temporary (and empty) distraction from what's underlying everything else.

Ugh that sounds ominous. Maybe you need to talk to someone?

 

[Mr.E]

Oh I have been.

 

[Nyhargo Dirge]

Oh I have been.

Hey man, things go in waves. I think everyone has had some pretty hard knocks recently. If you’re that down, reach out to more people and resources. No one wants you or any other SSF member go radio silent. I’ve seen you all be super supportive of the community and it’s pretty cool to see. Life can suck &$$ but dont think you’re alone.

 

[Mr.E]

That's one of those things that although people say it, "You're not alone", it's something that never seems to be reassuring enough. I've personally never felt more alone in my entire life.

It makes it all the more worse when you realize that those who you truly cared about, do not care about you. Not all, but some. And even one person, one experience like that, can destroy you.

I know in the grand scheme of things, none of this matters. Very little apparently does. It's just a painful realization, day in, day out.

 

[BrooklynWolf X]

That's one of those things that although people say it, "You're not alone", it's something that never seems to be reassuring enough. I've personally never felt more alone in my entire life.

It makes it all the more worse when you realize that those who you truly cared about, do not care about you. Not all, but some. And even one person, one experience like that, can destroy you.

Hey, if it’s alright with you and admins, I’d like to say something:

The pain that hurts the most is usually caused by those that are closest to us. I’ve been there many times before. Not knowing any details, all I can suggest is:

**** ‘em. They weren’t close to you to begin with and it’s their loss. It’s cliched AF…but it’s so true. My guy, it is SO true. We may have grown cynical or jaded to truly appreciate cliches like that, but they exist for a reason.

I don’t know you on any level, let alone personal, but you are a fellow human being and the one thing that, at the very least, connects you to me and others here is our hobby of collecting toys. That common ground means that you truly ‘are not alone’. Again, we may not be friends in real life, but we are kindred spirits. Whether that holds any significance to you or not, well, that of course is up to you…but as a fellow human being, I don’t want to see anyone, stranger or friend, in any kind of pain.

When one is suffocating in the dark, words like “you are not alone” and “we are here for you” or any other words of comfort and support will not register.

But it doesn’t make it not true…

look man, please continue with the talks you’ve been having. If you feel you’re not making any progress or the pain is getting worse, consider speaking to another professional.

no matter how bad things get, they’re never ‘that bad’ enough to do the worst thing imaginable.

Please be strong, friend.

Edit- oh and hey, any fan of David effin Duchovny, Mr Fox Mulder, Mr J.P Prewitt himself, is automatically a friend of mine!

 

[Scout Trooper]

Even one person, one experience like that, can destroy you.

Take care man.. I went through it as well. It's horrible. If you need someone to talk to, you can send me a dm.

 

[Mr.E]

Apologies for derailing the thread.

And thanks, freaks. More often than not, especially over the past eight months or so, I have felt like a freak. And not in the "old" board sense of the word.

Even in moments of clarity, seeing the truth, how some people really are beneath their masks, I find no peace in any of it. More pain. And when you spend enough time living and breathing that pain, that hurt, you tell yourself you deserve it. That they are right to cast you out, discard you, ostracize you. They're right. Even in my heart, I know they're not.

Someone who meant a lot to me, someone who I truly cared about, trusted. Called a friend. She said this to me this morning:

"I wish I never laid eyes on you".

 

[BrooklynWolf X]

Apologies for derailing the thread.

Nah man, don’t apologize.

It’s your way of ‘reaching out’ and venting.

It helps put parts of your mind and soul at ease, temporary as it may be, but any comfort is comfort. Take what you can get right?

 

[Scout Trooper]

Someone who meant a lot to me, someone who I truly cared about, trusted. Called a friend. She said this to me this morning:

"I wish I never laid eyes on you".

Somebody I knew for many years, whom I trusted, and loved, and considered as close as family, flipped a switch and turned the whole way against me one day. And they did so much to hurt me, and they did it very deliberately.

It didn't make sense. There were no signs, and no explanation. That **** will **** you up straight. Makes it hard to get too close to anyone, because you think there's always a chance they might turn out the same.

 

[Mr.E]

Somebody I knew for many years, whom I trusted, and loved, and considered as close as family, flipped a switch and turned the whole way against me one day. And they did so much to hurt me, and they did it very deliberately.

It didn't make sense. There were no signs, and no explanation. That **** will **** you up straight. Makes it hard to get close to anyone, because they might turn out the same.

It really does **** you up. It really does. I have been spiraling ever since. Functioning. But inside, a world of hurt. A day doesn't go by, without thinking about it. Going to dark places so often, it becomes, for lack of a better term, normal.

 

[Scout Trooper]

Apologies for derailing the thread.

And thanks, freaks. More often than not, especially over the past eight months or so, I have felt like a freak. And not in the "old" board sense of the word.

Even in moments of clarity, seeing the truth, how some people really are beneath their masks, I find no peace in any of it. More pain. And when you spend enough time living and breathing that pain, that hurt, you tell yourself you deserve it. That they are right to cast you out, discard you, ostracize you. They're right. Even in my heart, I know they're not.

Someone who meant a lot to me, someone who I truly cared about, trusted. Called a friend. She said this to me this morning:

"I wish I never laid eyes on you".

**** that bitch man.

Hold on to faith.

And get that Aragorn.

 

[BrooklynWolf X]

Apologies for derailing the thread.

And thanks, freaks. More often than not, especially over the past eight months or so, I have felt like a freak. And not in the "old" board sense of the word.

Even in moments of clarity, seeing the truth, how some people really are beneath their masks, I find no peace in any of it. More pain. And when you spend enough time living and breathing that pain, that hurt, you tell yourself you deserve it. That they are right to cast you out, discard you, ostracize you. They're right. Even in my heart, I know they're not.

Someone who meant a lot to me, someone who I truly cared about, trusted. Called a friend. She said this to me this morning:

"I wish I never laid eyes on you".

Reaching the point of convincing yourself you ‘deserve’ all the worst things thrown at you is definitely part ‘of the whole package’ in whatever is happening with you.

It’s dangerous and unfortunately part of the process. But it is a challenge you’ll need to overcome.

Once you get over it, then can you begin to rationalize what actions lead you and everyone to where they are now. It’s in those moments of clarity can you begin to see the bigger picture and realize MANY things.

But right now, over thinking and being overly critical with yourself will do more harm than good and I plead with you to do your best and avoid that…

Easier said than done right? Yeah, I agree. But you gotta do it. Gotta push through and really make a concerted effort to not dwell on the ‘dark’ and focus on one certainty: things will get better. And they will.

 

[Wor-Gar]

OCD can be a tragic flaw... only seeing the faults.

You definitely need to fight that urge.

 

[chrisstbh]

Apologies for derailing the thread.

And thanks, freaks. More often than not, especially over the past eight months or so, I have felt like a freak. And not in the "old" board sense of the word.

Even in moments of clarity, seeing the truth, how some people really are beneath their masks, I find no peace in any of it. More pain. And when you spend enough time living and breathing that pain, that hurt, you tell yourself you deserve it. That they are right to cast you out, discard you, ostracize you. They're right. Even in my heart, I know they're not.

Someone who meant a lot to me, someone who I truly cared about, trusted. Called a friend. She said this to me this morning:

"I wish I never laid eyes on you".

Listen, it wouldn’t be collectorfreaks without a good thread derailing.

We may not all always agree and get along on this forum but at the end of the day we’re all people here sharing common interests and passions and I’m sure no freaks wish anything like this on one another.

You’ll meet new people that truly do care and give back the same energy that you give them.

Always sucks when people show their true colours, but those that betray your trust aren’t worth dwelling on, essentially - **** them and treat yourself to a $500 Aragorn barbie - and let Viggo go.

As hard as it may be you gotta hang onto the things that do bring you joy, few and far between as they may be during hard times.

 

[Sixth Scale Man]

@Mr.E. Sounds like you need a Sam. I hope you can find a Sam. We all need a Samwise Gamgee in our lives. In the meantime, here's Sam


Hold strong, man.

 

[Mr.E]

A friend, a close friend, who you can depend on when things seem to be at their worst, is a hard thing to come by. At least, it seems that way to me.

As @Scout Trooper said, it makes it seem that getting close to someone is a bad thing. Opening up and trusting someone will only lead to hurt. Thinking that you mattered to that person and then to have that person completely flip a switch and decide that you're not worth a damn, and treat you as if you do not exist. Well, that does unbelievable damage to your sense of well-being, self esteem and it makes it seem that you will always be alone. That it will be better for everyone to be that way. That despite my best intentions, and desire to see the good in people, they will ultimately never be there when you need them. That no one can be trusted.

It breaks your spirit. It breaks your heart.

 

[Raleig.h]

Finding peace and love within yourself is the most fulfilling thing that you can have happen to yourself, when you're fully in tune with yourself not a single person can take anything away from you. Time heals all, I'm sure whatever you're going through at this moment feels like the worst thing in the world, but just keep pushin', one day you'll look back at this time wondering how you could let people who were never worth your time in the first place get you into such a dark place.

 

[Mr.E]

Finding peace and love within yourself is the most fulfilling thing that you can have happen to yourself, when you're fully in tune with yourself not a single person can take anything away from you. Time heals all, I'm sure whatever you're going through at this moment feels like the worst thing in the world, but just keep pushin', one day you'll look back at this time wondering how you could let people who were never worth your time in the first place get you into such a dark place.

I often ask myself how and why people who end up showing themselves as being not what I perceived/wished them to be, could hurt me to this degree. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, to want to see good in them. And in my heart, I did see good at one time. I did. I don't see it now, but at the time I did.

I have struggled with this sort of darkness for quite some time. And told myself years ago, that it would probably be best if I keep myself to myself. That to open up and let someone get close would be a mistake, and I should spare them my internal battle. That because of it, I'd convinced myself that despite trying to have a good heart, I wasn't meant to be known, accepted, even loved. I tell myself that, then and now.

To think that someone actually wanted to get to know me. That they cared. That I meant something to them and that I was worth something. Well, that struck a chord within me. Having denied myself for years, and then meet someone who I thought I could actually be close to, allow myself to be vulnerable with, to feel again. It felt good. It was a relief. A sense of hope and purpose. For all too brief a moment, I felt those things.