Kids Say the Darndest Things

[AllisonAmy]

Hanging out at my mom's garage sale yesterday with my two-year old niece, she starts speaking gibberish as an old man comes walking through the driveway. I said to her, "Don't speak Chinese in front of strangers." She asks why. I tell her, "Because people will think you're crazy." Without missing a beat, and perfect deadpan, she says, "I am crazy. I'll kill you."

The old man didn't take very long to decide he didn't want anything.

That is freaking hilarious.

 

[AllisonAmy]

Not exactly a gut buster, but I thought this was funny:

My 3 year old was playing with something that my 4 year old wanted. My 4 year old asked me, "Can I play with that...um...thing?". My 3 year old, walking away from us carrying "it" said over her shoulder, "You mean iPad."



I also think it's funny that my 3 year old knows the difference between a flat head & Phillips head screwdriver. She always trys to change the batteries in her own toys.

 

[Darth_Fatso]

Well did she??

She did indeed.

 

[AllisonAmy]

"I found the hooker." (my three year old).

They were playing one of those games where you have to find an object in a picture with lots of objects in it.

It was an anchor.

 

[AllisonAmy]

Both of these were today:

My 4 yr old now calls my 3 yr old "Little One." (Thanks to my brother, I guess).

My 3 yr old told me that, "Daddy doesn't have to finish all of his dinner because he might keep growing and he might bump his head on the ceiling."

 

[devilof76]

So the four year old drinks scotch, and the three year old looks for hookers?

You're the fun mom, huh?

 

[AllisonAmy]

So the four year old drinks scotch, and the three year old looks for hookers?

You're the fun mom, huh?

You have no idea.

 

[jediknight120]

The other day, I was showing my daughter (3 years old) my 1/6 figures and called them "action figures."

She looked straight at me and said "Those aren't action figures! Those are dolls!"

 

[AllisonAmy]

The other day, I was showing my daughter (3 years old) my 1/6 figures and called them "action figures."

She looked straight at me and said "Those aren't action figures! Those are dolls!"

If she's in preschool, I wonder what her friends think if she told them you have dolls?

 

[Maglor]

The other day, I was showing my daughter (3 years old) my 1/6 figures and called them "action figures."

She looked straight at me and said "Those aren't action figures! Those are dolls!"

They are dolls.

 

[AllisonAmy]

Me: Why did you cut your hair?

3 yr old: Because I had the scissors.




Yes, it's true. This was Friday morning, before school. I have pictures. Thankfully, when I put her hair back in a barrette, you can't tell. Family pictures are going to be taken on 10/17.

 

[Darth Cruel]

Me: Why did you cut your hair?

3 yr old: Because I had the scissors.




Yes, it's true. This was Friday morning, before school. I have pictures. Thankfully, when I put her hair back in a barrette, you can't tell. Family pictures are going to be taken on 10/17.

LOL...this reminds me of my nephew and niece. WAAAYYY back in like 81 or 82. They got together and started playing with a hand pump on a 55 gallon drum of tractor oil on my Sister's farm. They had about 1/4 of it pumped out by the time my b-i-l found them. When he asked why they did it, without being smart ***** or anything they told him..." Because it was fun.".

 

[AllisonAmy]

LOL...this reminds me of my nephew and niece. WAAAYYY back in like 81 or 82. They got together and started playing with a hand pump on a 55 gallon drum of tractor oil on my Sister's farm. They had about 1/4 of it pumped out by the time my b-i-l found them. When he asked why they did it, without being smart ***** or anything they told him..." Because it was fun.".

It is amazing how fast they get into stuff.

Kids are just plain funny. Something new every week. Today my 3 yr old informed me that she wants to have her own little girl (that is just HERS), so we need to buy another car seat.

 

[jediknight120]

They are dolls.

You sound just like my sister.

 

[AllisonAmy]

4 yr old reminded me that she wants a surprise birthday party, next weekend.

 

[Rotfish]

The other day, I was showing my daughter (3 years old) my 1/6 figures and called them "action figures."

She looked straight at me and said "Those aren't action figures! Those are dolls!"

Dunno exactly what figures you collect, but not every 1/6 piece is a doll (unless it's a 1/6 Barbie). I urge any 3 year old to refer to these as dolls:

 

[devilof76]

My niece is 2. One of my mom's puppies went on the floor and she declared, "It wasn't me."

 

[AllisonAmy]

My niece is 2. One of my mom's puppies went on the floor and she declared, "It wasn't me."

 

[devilof76]

So is your daughter going to be surprised with her party?

 

[AllisonAmy]

I have a feeling she will ask about it. I think I'll get everyone to yell "surprise" when I go over with her. (The party is in our detached garage). We are having a dinosaur party with a triceratops pinata.


Oh, now the 3 yr old calls the 4 yr old "My Darling".