Star Wars: Episode IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

[TaliBane]

Once you show people neutralizing thousands of ships with their bare hands and the smallest of fighters following ships they're chasing through multiple hyperspace jumps you get to a point where the stories just keep getting crazier and crazier now that those particular cats are out of the bag.

Palps using his hands to simultaneously down thousands of spaceships from miles away is one of those jump the shark moments in terms of powers.

And yeah - forgot that hyperspace skipping thing with the TIEs - I wasn't even sure what I was watching there.

 

[Prime Clone]

At least we finally know what he was on about here:

 

[TaliBane]

At least we finally know what he was on about here:

Late Sunday night in Exogol, workers just trying to get some shut-eye: "Ah jeez, looks like Palps couldn't sleep again..."

 

[Prime Clone]

 

[jye4ever]

At least we finally know what he was on about here:

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[SvenDokki]

All of Palpi’s grandsons, granddaughters, grand clones and Grand Army of the Republic descendants loved watching their favorite grand Sith lighting up his farts on burrito night with his Sith lightning!

 

[Matt S]

The one trend that needs to stop with these SW movies by Disney: read the book and all the comics to get the 'full story.'


So, am I to believe that ROTJ Palps got laid? Or did he just plant his Medichlorian seed into some woman? either way is pretty disturbing.

 

[SvenDokki]

Sex bot I8-LC extracted seed for artificial insemination.

 

[jye4ever]

The one trend that needs to stop with these SW movies by Disney: read the book and all the comics to get the 'full story.'


So, am I to believe that ROTJ Palps got laid?

Well of course he did all old ugly fat bald men with power and money get more girls than anyone else doesn?t mean the girls enjoy it they?re too busy fantasizing about their own ripped young boy toys they have on the side.




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[Asta]

The one trend that needs to stop with these SW movies by Disney: read the book and all the comics to get the 'full story.'


So, am I to believe that ROTJ Palps got laid? Or did he just plant his Medichlorian seed into some woman? either way is pretty disturbing.

Palpatine's Playboy Mansion: The Full Story

Available in both hard and soft covers.

 

[SvenDokki]

Luke got hardback.

While it's unusual for a male Sith to impregnate a male Jedi, it explains a great many things:

Why Luke disappeared.

Why Luke was so grumpy when his daugher (who had accellerated growth from all that FORCEd inbreeding) - who he and his sister Leia had dropped off on Jakku - comes back with his lightsaber. (He wasn't over the mood swings from a male FORCE pregnancy)

How Leia knew about Rey's past. (Abrams just saw Leia with Luke and assumed they were a couple - he didn't realize the horrible truth!)

And Maz was the wet nurse, which explains alot too (she is a Force-sensitive kleptomaniac with an endemic memory!)

There's much more, but I only wanted to get this rolling, all the fans will fill this in with a million more theories!

 

[xipotec]

The classic fall of so many sequels in other words - upping the ante - escalation to a point of ultimate absurdity - mileage varying between individuals.

I think the reason I like Rogue One and Solo is they were bound by the OT in most regards whereas, with the ST, Abrams just went nuts with an anything goes attitude.

Yup.

Opinions are one thing but the amount of hyperbole that TROS haters come up with is ridiculous (posting pictures of 1000 monkeys at a typewriter and then comparing it to LFL story group for example). The ST wasn't that bad at all.

Its vying for attention . Like in high school who can make the best jab at the nerdy kid.

I do admit some of it is funny. Its just a bit too much sometimes.


The ?too much politics? in SW is more of a reflection of the ?older school values? we as old guys grew up with, so it seems ?forced?.

But to the young generation its just not.

And maybe that says something about the films of the 70-80?s. We all know the alternative lifestyles did not just pop up this decade. The films made in our youth just generally ignored them, as it was too controversial for modern film at the time. Hell the films of those decades had trouble with making successful films with a black leading hero.


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[Darth Snoopy]

All right. I'll ask very politely this time. Would you please stop harassing me? I don't appreciate it.

How exactly is asking you a SW related question in a SW related thread harassing you?

Please be respectful towards one another. Some Freaks you'll get along with, others not so much.

Either stop responding to each other or put each other on ignore.

 

[Username]

Uh oh, I sense "phases" coming...

If it's done right, and we have 22 movies with different characters all with their own arcs coming together for a final movie(Or two), it could only be a good thing(Especially if Fiege is at the helm).
Here's my mantra since the special editions(All the way through the prequels till right now):

"It's Star Wars. I like it. Give me more"

 

[BoosterGold06]

This is the most hilarious troll job I've seen from the media in a while.

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/g30316032/best-star-wars-characters/

 

[Matt S]

Well of course he did all old ugly fat bald men with power and money get more girls than anyone else doesn?t mean the girls enjoy it they?re too busy fantasizing about their own ripped young boy toys they have on the side.




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Ya know, that's a backstory I may actually read!!!! LOL, I agree that if Palps was a real person, he'd definitely have some escorts on speedial

Palpatine's Playboy Mansion: The Full Story

Available in both hard and soft covers.

LOL, that would be awesome. Does Playboy still exist? As a mag?

 

[Asta]

LOL, that would be awesome. Does Playboy still exist? As a mag?

I doubt it. lol

He's a natural babe magnet. The chicks just love what he can do with his ribbed forehead...

 

[Deedzy]

Opinions are one thing but the amount of hyperbole that TROS haters come up with is ridiculous (posting pictures of 1000 monkeys at a typewriter and then comparing it to LFL story group for example). The ST wasn't that bad at all.

I take offense to the implication my monkey gif was anything other than a perfect depiction of the LFL story group.

 

[Khev]

Three big elements of the PT that were mentioned and then ignored until now:

TPM: Multiple voices telling you the will of the Force.
AOTC: Keeping people from dying.
ROTS: Palpatine's "unlimited" power.

All that plus a boy and girl facing Palps together for the final showdown like originally planned really do make TROS feel like the true culmination of the entire Saga.

 

[Deedzy]

Three big elements of the PT that were mentioned and then ignored until now:

TPM: Multiple voices telling you the will of the Force.
AOTC: Keeping people from dying.
ROTS: Palpatine's "unlimited" power.

All that plus a boy and girl facing Palps together for the final showdown like originally planned really do make TROS feel like the true culmination of the entire Saga.

I don't agree.

Unfortunately I believe that you are using your knowledge of the star wars universe to fill in the vast plot holes to cobble together a narrative that somewhat makes sense.

It would have made for a great story if that is what they had intended but c'mon man it's blatantly obvious that there was little to no plan in place and that TROS was a hail mary pass to try wrap up what was left after TLJ into a product that would appeal to and /or appease as many people as possible.

I'm honestly shocked that some of you guys feel it's a great way to cap things off. I mean life goes on and it's just a flick but I can't help but wonder what could have been....