Why the F do girls have this much effect on people???

[Voorhees27]

This is the best advice I can give:

Whores
Drugs
Alcohol
Crime
Throw something at an old lady

After that i'm not sure.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Well at least your accepting this is prolly happening, I have had friends before who have held on and held on for YEARS without making the realisations that you are now...TBH it sounds like the relationship is over, that doesn't mean it will be over forever, just for now.

By the sounds of it she is blaming you for leaving so she can alleviate the guilt she is feeling for not feeling the same way about you. But like I said there is no saying it is over forvever, but it does sound like it is over for now, move on and enjoy your summer, I am sure it is beautiful weather over there, meet new people and go out with your friends., not to forget here but simply not to dwell on her

That's what EVERYONE is saying, including HER! That FOR NOW we have to let it go...... And MAYBE MAYBE we will be together in the future. It's really hard to see that as of right NOW, but I guess it's always a possibility. Just really tough to let go, even from ACROSS the COUNTRY!

But yeah, she also seems to use the fact of me leaving being a BIG cause for all this loss of feelings...... I can almost bet MONEY that if she sees me physically that feelings will come rushing back I've predicted SO many things happening, and I've been right almost EVERY time!

But thanks guys, you've been SUPER helpful I'll keep you guys posted. I think this thread has gotten AMAZING response and AWESOME advice and insight

 

[Valfar]

Problem is people don't understand relationships. Real love doesn't exist any more. I think we may have lost the capacity to love. Yeah, people have sex, but love? It's sad but that kind of relationships our parents have isn't there any more.

I totally know what you mean..people these days are jaded due to past relationships and too occupied/worried about their career getting messed with due to a potential lasting relationship that could present itself at any time.There are lots of single women here 25-45ish range that are fine with just the pub nights with friends and back to work in the office all week, random sex with select friends, avid travelers/backpacking etc..hippy-like...the list goes on and its usually the common people that are like this. They all like the same movies and music, shop at the same stores and wear the same style of clothing..sheltered somewhat and only care to know whats thrown in their faces on visual adds and television...due to the career taking up most of their natural life i guess.

 

[Skiman]

That's what EVERYONE is saying, including HER! That FOR NOW we have to let it go...... And MAYBE MAYBE we will be together in the future. It's really hard to see that as of right NOW, but I guess it's always a possibility. Just really tough to let go, even from ACROSS the COUNTRY!

But yeah, she also seems to use the fact of me leaving being a BIG cause for all this loss of feelings...... I can almost bet MONEY that if she sees me physically that feelings will come rushing back I've predicted SO many things happening, and I've been right almost EVERY time!

But thanks guys, you've been SUPER helpful I'll keep you guys posted. I think this thread has gotten AMAZING response and AWESOME advice and insight

Stick to plan... if u don't I predict doom. Focus on what you have control over which is urself.

This will not be resolved quickly as in feelings, time, energy and resolution. Do NOT keep pushing the button and u will come back on top.

Negate any of this... and I'll feel

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Stick to plan... if u don't I predict doom. Focus on what you have control over which is urself.

This will not be resolved quickly as in feelings, time, energy and resolution. Do NOT keep pushing the button and u will come back on top.

Negate any of this... and I'll feel

True..... very true..... And I'm just getting my bearings back after the latest unexpected speed bump (her contacting me almost in the regretful/sappy way) I had my momentum going as far as moving on, but when she comes back giving me all the mushy stuff that I've kinda been wanting to hear, it makes it harder to stick to the plan...

But I'm getting back in the mode.... Of being in control

 

[GondorGirl]

True..... very true..... And I'm just getting my bearings back after the latest unexpected speed bump (her contacting me almost in the regretful/sappy way) I had my momentum going as far as moving on, but when she comes back giving me all the mushy stuff that I've kinda been wanting to hear, it makes it harder to stick to the plan...

But I'm getting back in the mode.... Of being in control

Good to hear you've got yourself into the more controlled position...keep it going, but remember if you do slip up don't beat yourself up, take a deep breath and get back into that zone

I know a lot of people have been 'ragging you' (I, again, hope I am using that term correctly? ) but I can see that there are a few of us pulling for you to deal with this situation and to see you do that is great

 

[KBA]

That's what EVERYONE is saying, including HER! That FOR NOW we have to let it go...... And MAYBE MAYBE we will be together in the future. It's really hard to see that as of right NOW, but I guess it's always a possibility. Just really tough to let go, even from ACROSS the COUNTRY!

But yeah, she also seems to use the fact of me leaving being a BIG cause for all this loss of feelings...... I can almost bet MONEY that if she sees me physically that feelings will come rushing back I've predicted SO many things happening, and I've been right almost EVERY time!

But thanks guys, you've been SUPER helpful I'll keep you guys posted. I think this thread has gotten AMAZING response and AWESOME advice and insight

New to this thread, there is plenty of priceless advice. But in the end it's up to you.

This is how it starts: Your air plane is going down. You don't know it yet. You look out the window, all you see is dark clouds, oblivious that if you don't get your ass off the plane pronto, you'll be dead. Once you take a closer look, you realize your plane is in fact taking a nose dive. The problem lies right before your eyes. But you're not out of the woods yet. You're in shock that this is happening and you panic; becoming light headed. You can't think straight. You try your hardest to focus.. and it becomes clear what to do! You get out of your seat and find a parachute. You put it on, open the hatch and look out. Freedom from the chaos is near. But there's a dilemma: there's actually someone else with you in the plane that is this crashing relationship, and only one parachute. You need to make a decision; to take the parachute and survive. Or die.

While it may seem like the honorable thing to do in your situation is stay in the situation, that is to remain in contact with her, you need to truly get out and leave her behind. In her plane crash scenario, she already did and the mind games are only residual from her immaturity - pay them no mind. If you don't you'll hit rock bottom and be worse off than ever before. The initial incident awakened you to how unhealthy the relationship has become: you saw through the dark clouds. You didn't know what to do but with some honest realization and help from friends you knew you had to get out. You have the answers, strapped on the parachute and now it's up to you to ignore the ghost of a dead relationship and make the jump

 

[Skiman]

New to this thread, there is plenty of priceless advice. But in the end it's up to you.

This is how it starts: Your air plane is going down. You don't know it yet. You look out the window, all you see is dark clouds, oblivious that if you don't get your ass off the plane pronto, you'll be dead. Once you take a closer look, you realize your plane is in fact taking a nose dive. The problem lies right before your eyes. But you're not out of the woods yet. You're in shock that this is happening and you panic; becoming light headed. You can't think straight. You try your hardest to focus.. and it becomes clear what to do! You get out of your seat and find a parachute. You put it on, open the hatch and look out. Freedom from the chaos is near. But there's a dilemma: there's actually someone else with you in the plane that is this crashing relationship, and only one parachute. You need to make a decision; to take the parachute and survive. Or die.

While it may seem like the honorable thing to do in your situation is stay in the situation, that is to remain in contact with her, you need to truly get out and leave her behind. In her plane crash scenario, she already did and the mind games are only residual from her immaturity - pay them no mind. If you don't you'll hit rock bottom and be worse off than ever before. The initial incident awakened you to how unhealthy the relationship has become: you saw through the dark clouds. You didn't know what to do but with some honest realization and help from friends you knew you had to get out. You have the answers, strapped on the parachute and now it's up to you to ignore the ghost of a dead relationship and make the jump

WOW Awesome analogy, wow.... I've become the chosen one by reading this

 

[ChrisCJ99]

New to this thread, there is plenty of priceless advice. But in the end it's up to you.

This is how it starts: Your air plane is going down. You don't know it yet. You look out the window, all you see is dark clouds, oblivious that if you don't get your ass off the plane pronto, you'll be dead. Once you take a closer look, you realize your plane is in fact taking a nose dive. The problem lies right before your eyes. But you're not out of the woods yet. You're in shock that this is happening and you panic; becoming light headed. You can't think straight. You try your hardest to focus.. and it becomes clear what to do! You get out of your seat and find a parachute. You put it on, open the hatch and look out. Freedom from the chaos is near. But there's a dilemma: there's actually someone else with you in the plane that is this crashing relationship, and only one parachute. You need to make a decision; to take the parachute and survive. Or die.

While it may seem like the honorable thing to do in your situation is stay in the situation, that is to remain in contact with her, you need to truly get out and leave her behind. In her plane crash scenario, she already did and the mind games are only residual from her immaturity - pay them no mind. If you don't you'll hit rock bottom and be worse off than ever before. The initial incident awakened you to how unhealthy the relationship has become: you saw through the dark clouds. You didn't know what to do but with some honest realization and help from friends you knew you had to get out. You have the answers, strapped on the parachute and now it's up to you to ignore the ghost of a dead relationship and make the jump

VERY good analogy! And I totally see what you're saying..... In talking to a friend of mine, I'm seeing how selfish and immature this girl really is. But at this point, I'm saying F this. It's BS. Someone shouldn't be dragging this out this long.... So to have me on a string for this long it just WRONG! I was under the impression that this girl was more NICE and caring than THIS! She always proclaims that she "cares" about me, but when she obviously sees that this is crushing me and just kinda strings me along, F that!

So I guess I just have to get in the mindset of "Forget that B***ch", because that's what she's being right now..... (No offense ladies) But she obviously just uses me as a "comfort blanket" to know that she has me on a string and can fall back on me just IN CASE her "quest for life outside of me" isn't as rosy and shiny as she thought it would be.... I've been in those shoes before, where I think life will be better without someone and realize later that it's just as stinky in different ways...

People can be so evil and selfish and that's sad, when you're under the Impression that they're "in love" with you......

 

[The Ween]

Ween, I had. She took her own life.

I firmly believe we only fall in love once. That's the person we grow old with. The person we never abandon, & if it means having to bathe & change someone, then we do it.

People see relationships as business partnerships now. Less concern with love than with appearances & cash. Sad, but it seems to be true

Women
Only a coward would hurt em, or a fool would desert em

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how hard it would be. I had a relationship end that felt like a death and I knew what it physically felt like to actually have a broken heart. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I hope this incident didn't cause you to shut yourself off from feeling love again. I'm sure she wouldn't want that.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Sooooo. Don't worry guys. I haven't been contacting the ex at all....

Buuuut. I did want to ask a personal opinion....

I know it may sound lame, but how soon did any of you jump into ANYTHING after a long term break up. Reason why I ask is that it just feels weird even seeing anyone in that light.... And NO I don't just want to go out and hook up just to get my mind off of things. Been there, done that. It's just that I've spoken with a couple girls but it just feels odd even just talking to anyone else that may have an attraction, ya know?? Of course it's obvious that this is all fresh, but many people just say to live it up and forget about the past.... But we all know that's easier said then done when you get walked away from someone special...

Whatcha guys think??

 

[The Ween]

You'll know when you're ready. It's different for everyone. It took me a real long time to even look at another guy.

 

[black cat]

So I just figured "what the F" and wanted to vent a little....... So I moved out here to San Francisco from Tampa, FL in January of this year to pursue my second bachelors degree in web design and new media. I've been with my girlfriend of 3.5 years (off and on) and she apparently proclaimed that I was her best friend and her first love... I was her very FIRST boyfriend, first everything. I moved out here to pursue a better career and wanted to stay with her, eventually make her a wife. She's a great person, very kind and religious. But apparently I've been "too grouchy" because I complain too much about the change in culture and lifesyle out here. So she apparently doesn't want to deal with the "burden and responsibility" of having to listen to my frustrations all the time. There isn't any other guy involved, because I talk to her family... But she apparently just "wants her alone time". She says she feels pressured because she feels responsible for my happiness and she can't exactly offer than since were thousands of miles away... So she just decided to call it quits and wants to "see how life is outside of me"......

I'm super ticked, and just wanted to reach out to some fellow freaks for some type of esteem booster. yeah, F the hoes.....

She wanted you to go out with her but that was almost a given that she wanted to roam free. I am so sorry to hear this and it's better to know that now then later, I know it doesn't seem like it.

 

[black cat]

Don't jump in the scene again just to jump in and have someone there or to use another girl as a rebound. You will know when the time comes that you are ready for another real relationship. If it helps you any I sent bad karma her way. I think your ex had that planned all along sweetie.


I seen some posts about "alone time" and I still want some alone time from my boyfriend but the is only like a few hours and then it's back to normal.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Don't jump in the scene again just to jump in and have someone there or to use another girl as a rebound. You will know when the time comes that you are ready for another real relationship. If it helps you any I sent bad karma her way. I think your ex had that planned all along sweetie.


I seen some posts about "alone time" and I still want some alone time from my boyfriend but the is only like a few hours and then it's back to normal.

Yeah. Whenever I tried breaking up with her before it only lasted hours, or a day or two at MAX.

But thanks for the words I wish u the best in your relationship

 

[black cat]

I think "alone time" means different things to different people. Alone time to me means that I just need to get away and do something by myself for a couple of hours or something (some me time).

 

[Skiman]

I think "alone time" means different things to different people. Alone time to me means that I just need to get away and do something by myself for a couple of hours or something (some me time).

and that means it' over for me

 

[Skiman]

Like everyone else is saying Chris, it's different for different ppl, I probably dated off and on for 6 months for settling down again with my fiancee the year I met her but nothing serious and just mainly going out with friends.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Well I'm not saying any type of serious dating ya know? I was just curious what other people's personal experience was in regards to that

But yeah, I'm def not looking to jump into anything AT ALL.... Just wanna meet people

 

[ChrisCJ99]

I think "alone time" means different things to different people. Alone time to me means that I just need to get away and do something by myself for a couple of hours or something (some me time).

But to comment on this, I think this is the most confusing "alone time" I've ever seen in my life...... The girl swears she needs "alone time" but yet she lives across the whole country!!! How much more alone time do you need?? Just proclaims that she needs to "see" how life is outside of me. Without having the "obligation and responsibility" of talking to me on the phone..... Too see if I'm more than just "a habit"..... Pretty crappy if you ask me. But just to fill you in a bit