Why the F do girls have this much effect on people???

[Skiman]

See, alot of the things you guys are saying, I, and I'm sure some of the other ladies, have said the same things about men.

Nice guys finish last, well, I could say the same thing about me. I've been told by men that I've been involved with that I'm too nice.

I've dated guys that wanted me to be their mama. Tell them what to do, when to do it. My brother is kinda that way. He married a woman who controls him, and he likes it that way. Some people thrive on drama, I'm just not one of them.

There's someone for everyone out there, we just have to jump through hoops and get our hearts broken to find them. That's the sucky part.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

This girl is confused about what she wants. Best just to leave her alone. She asked for space. Give it to her.

That's the thing.... I DID give her some space. And what do you know, she came TO ME pouring her heart out, saying how she misses me and adores me. How is that NOT confusing to ME???

 

[GondorGirl]

That's the thing.... I DID give her some space. And what do you know, she came TO ME pouring her heart out, saying how she misses me and adores me. How is that NOT confusing to ME???

Just don't answer the phone/respond to the email/or answer the Text etc...honestly some of my girlfriends are like this, they thrive on the drama and routine they have built, the only way to break it and move away is simply to ignore and don't buy into the drama they crave...it is harsh but really the only way to do it

Such a shame your having to go through all this though You have my fullest sympathies

 

[Skiman]

That's the thing.... I DID give her some space. And what do you know, she came TO ME pouring her heart out, saying how she misses me and adores me. How is that NOT confusing to ME???

nd u listened.... How did that phone get in ur hands... Yes I'm asking the tough questions here because to my logic the phone shouldn't of never made it in ur hand! :emperor

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Just don't answer the phone/respond to the email/or answer the Text etc...honestly some of my girlfriends are like this, they thrive on the drama and routine they have built, the only way to break it and move away is simply to ignore and don't buy into the drama they crave...it is harsh but really the only way to do it

Such a shame your having to go through all this though You have my fullest sympathies

Thanks for the support

nd u listened.... How did that phone get in ur hands... Yes I'm asking the tough questions here because to my logic the phone shouldn't of never made it in ur hand! :emperor

I know... But the thing is, I thought this girl was different. And she is, but man she's becoming toxic!

Her claim is "I didn't think it would hurt to let you know how I feel".....

Are you kidding??? You're telling the guy you dumped that you're really sad and that you really love so many things about him...... But please, don't let that confuse you and make you think I want to be with you.....

It's just ridiculous... How someone can be this confused...... I just figured that if she came to me that we could talk, but now I see what kind of anguish it's causing.

And I hate to say it, but I really feel like the distance is what's REALLY causing all this headache. If I were in town and physically in front of her, then the conversation would be MUCH different.....

 

[knucklefunger]

Ween is sadly right though on her assessment of some men, ok, lots of us. Many want a woman that takes care of them like their Mommy. MAN UP! Some guys are real Nancies

I personally like women that are strong & independent. They don't NEED me, they choose to be with me.

I'm more interested in what's in a woman's head & heart than what's in her skirt

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Ween is sadly right though on her assessment of some men, ok, lots of us. Many want a woman that takes care of them like their Mommy. MAN UP! Some guys are real Nancies

I personally like women that are strong & independent. They don't NEED me, they choose to be with me.

I'm more interested in what's in a woman's head & heart than what's in her skirt

I agree, it's all about what their morals are and their personality.... Granted the good looks is a DEF plus though

But I also like a girl that can make her own RESPONSIBLE decisions, but also make me feel wanted! Like they need me (not entirely dependent, but you know what I mean)

Funny thing is, this girl was SOOOOO dependent on me at first since I was her first everything. But it seems like NOW (all of a sudden) that she doesn't need me at all..... And I think she's seeing this since I've moved away.

Has any females here done long distance with a SERIOUS relationship?

 

[-Super Hans-]

I'm more interested in what's in a woman's head & heart than what's in her skirt

 

[GondorGirl]

Funny thing is, this girl was SOOOOO dependent on me at first since I was her first everything. But it seems like NOW (all of a sudden) that she doesn't need me at all..... And I think she's seeing this since I've moved away.

Honest question: Does it bother you that she doesn't depend on you now?

 

[The Ween]

That's the thing.... I DID give her some space. And what do you know, she came TO ME pouring her heart out, saying how she misses me and adores me. How is that NOT confusing to ME???

Yes, and she basically told you the same thing she said before! I have a hard time convincing friends, both men and women that they have control over someone getting a hold of you. If you don't want to talk to her, you don't have to. You don't answer your phone or emails, or you block her all together. If you don't want the drama, you don't have to have it.

Next time she texts or calls, tell her you're giving her the real space she's asking for and that you are AFK.

 

[Skiman]

Yes, and she basically told you the same thing she said before! I have a hard time convincing friends, both men and women that they have control over someone getting a hold of you. If you don't want to talk to her, you don't have to. You don't answer your phone or emails, or you block her all together. If you don't want the drama, you don't have to have it.

Next time she texts or calls, tell her you're giving her the real space she's asking for and that you are AFK.

Ween is on the right track again... He won't listen to me Ween, cuz I'm male. I know these THANGS..... EXPERIENCE SON :emperor:emperor:emperor

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Honest question: Does it bother you that she doesn't depend on you now?

Well, yes and no. When she depended on me, it REALLY got annoying at first. Because she couldn't focus on ANYTHING. She would just revolve EVERYTHING she did around only me. But that came with the inexperience, and immaturity. But she eventually detached herself a little bit after time, although I DID love spending a lot of time with her... But unfortunately all that time spending ALONE with each other basically made BOTH of us only familiar with a world that only consisted of the two of us.... So any time anyone came into our world it was uncomfortable.... Sad, I know

The thing is, she CAN'T depend on me now anyhow because I'm so far away. She was forced to seek her independence. But now that our relationship has changed so much, and we haven't been able to physically see each other like we always HAVE it makes everything much more complicated.....

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Yes, and she basically told you the same thing she said before! I have a hard time convincing friends, both men and women that they have control over someone getting a hold of you. If you don't want to talk to her, you don't have to. You don't answer your phone or emails, or you block her all together. If you don't want the drama, you don't have to have it.

Next time she texts or calls, tell her you're giving her the real space she's asking for and that you are AFK.

I don't think I'll be hearing from her anyways... I angrily told her to leave me alone if she doesn't know what she wants
Basically I was trying my 150% to be there for her, but if it's not good enough then she needed to leave me alone....

Ween is on the right track again... He won't listen to me Ween, cuz I'm male. I know these THANGS..... EXPERIENCE SON :emperor:emperor:emperor

Oh but I DO listen to you man! And everyone else for that matter..

But let me ask you a personal question Ski, at what point did you realize that your fiance was the one for you? I mean, I know every relationship is different but I'm just not sure of what's a good relationship anymore? I'm just so skeptical as what's right for me..... I had one of my close friends PROMISE up and down that this girl he only knew for a few months was THE ONE. He just said "when you know, you just know".... Well a year after their wedding they were already getting divorced. See where my skepticism lies?

 

[Skiman]

I don't think I'll be hearing from her anyways... I angrily told her to leave me alone if she doesn't know what she wants
Basically I was trying my 150% to be there for her, but if it's not good enough then she needed to leave me alone....



Oh but I DO listen to you man! And everyone else for that matter..

But let me ask you a personal question Ski, at what point did you realize that your fiance was the one for you? I mean, I know every relationship is different but I'm just not sure of what's a good relationship anymore? I'm just so skeptical as what's right for me..... I had one of my close friends PROMISE up and down that this girl he only knew for a few months was THE ONE. He just said "when you know, you just know".... Well a year after their wedding they were already getting divorced. See where my skepticism lies?

Well for my fiance, I knew that she was the one whenever we moved in together and started living our lives as one. I know there's a different know when you know for everyone but I've dated every different type of woman out there and I can tell you from the experiences that I'd had on all different types. The shy ones where they are the good girl and sheltered (twice), the bad grl rebellion partying it up living the life on the edge, the dorking (nerdy) grl... Of course all these girls were attractive but that's just not everything, it really does matter what is on inside and who you can live with for the rest of ur life.

I've seen or been through it several times where stuff has gone south, I've been lucky to be the dumper than the dumpey but still I've seen the road to havoc and right before it gets there... and know whenever to jump ship. Some of them are completely crazy at the end whenever the break up is going through it's natural highs but you can say the same thing for guys. The illusion of love or attraction makes us this way and emotions will more than likely cloud the judgment.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Well for my fiance, I knew that she was the one whenever we moved in together and started living our lives as one. I know there's a different know when you know for everyone but I've dated every different type of woman out there and I can tell you from the experiences that I'd had on all different types. The shy ones where they are the good girl and sheltered (twice), the bad grl rebellion partying it up living the life on the edge, the dorking (nerdy) grl... Of course all these girls were attractive but that's just not everything, it really does matter what is on inside and who you can live with for the rest of ur life.

I've seen or been through it several times where stuff has gone south, I've been lucky to be the dumper than the dumpey but still I've seen the road to havoc and right before it gets there... and know whenever to jump ship. Some of them are completely crazy at the end whenever the break up is going through it's natural highs but you can say the same thing for guys. The illusion of love or attraction makes us this way and emotions will more than likely cloud the judgment.

And may I ask how long did you guys date before you popped the big question?

This girl just apparently says that "I've had my chance... And after 3 years I should have know by then...."

But to me it just wasn't that easy..... I still felt like she had a lot of growing up to do, and so did I...

 

[Skiman]

And may I ask how long did you guys date before you popped the big question?

This girl just apparently says that "I've had my chance... And after 3 years I should have know by then...."

But to me it just wasn't that easy..... I still felt like she had a lot of growing up to do, and so did I...

All but one girl friend I've been with 3+ years...

1.5 years grl was psycho

 

[GondorGirl]

Well, yes and no. When she depended on me, it REALLY got annoying at first. Because she couldn't focus on ANYTHING. She would just revolve EVERYTHING she did around only me. But that came with the inexperience, and immaturity. But she eventually detached herself a little bit after time, although I DID love spending a lot of time with her... But unfortunately all that time spending ALONE with each other basically made BOTH of us only familiar with a world that only consisted of the two of us.... So any time anyone came into our world it was uncomfortable.... Sad, I know

The thing is, she CAN'T depend on me now anyhow because I'm so far away. She was forced to seek her independence. But now that our relationship has changed so much, and we haven't been able to physically see each other like we always HAVE it makes everything much more complicated.....

I totally understand what you mean by this, I had a relationship that almost exactly mirrored this. The reason I asked is because your gonna have to start sharing some of the 'blame' for keeping this going and not being able to let go...in other words you are both contributing to the complications that are happening now. It may well be time to 'man up' (I hope I am using this term correctly? ) and just be honest with yourself and her and decide exactly what you want! If you don't want the relationship, break ALL contact, if you want it too work then good communication is the key in a long term replationship...that will involve being completely honest in telling her how you feel, not just saying what you think see may want to hear.

Good luck buddy, I know its tough but this situation won't last forever

 

[Skiman]

I totally understand what you mean by this, I had a relationship that almost exactly mirrored this. The reason I asked is because your gonna have to start sharing some of the 'blame' for keeping this going and not being able to let go...in other words you are both contributing to the complications that are happening now. It may well be time to 'man up' (I hope I am using this term correctly? ) and just be honest with yourself and her and decide exactly what you want! If you don't want the relationship, break ALL contact, if you want it too work then good communication is the key in a long term replationship...that will involve being completely honest in telling her how you feel, not just saying what you think see may want to hear.

Good luck buddy, I know its tough but this situation won't last forever

 

[ChrisCJ99]

I totally understand what you mean by this, I had a relationship that almost exactly mirrored this. The reason I asked is because your gonna have to start sharing some of the 'blame' for keeping this going and not being able to let go...in other words you are both contributing to the complications that are happening now. It may well be time to 'man up' (I hope I am using this term correctly? ) and just be honest with yourself and her and decide exactly what you want! If you don't want the relationship, break ALL contact, if you want it too work then good communication is the key in a long term replationship...that will involve being completely honest in telling her how you feel, not just saying what you think see may want to hear.

Good luck buddy, I know its tough but this situation won't last forever

Thanks Gondor

Yeah, I've expressed on NUMEROUS occasions that I do want this to work... Only one problem, she does NOT. She has this OVERWHELMINGLY strong urge to really see if she CAN live her life without me...... Yet everytime we speak she seems to battle this decision she made. She proclaims that she's prepared to be disappointed if she comes back around one day and I've moved on....... I just try to save her from that kind of mistake because I've DEF done that and it's a heavy feeling of guilt you carry on your shoulders for a LONG LONG time....

But that's another good point. Communication..... For us this department has ALWAYS lacked and been sluggish. Granted it's gotten "better" over time, but I do notice that we have the most UNPRODUCTIVE arguments EVER. Has anyone ever been with someone that NEVER takes responsibility for their actions and can never admit when they're wrong in the heat of the moment?? Yeah, this would be her.... LITERALLY every time I call her out on any kind of fault or something she may have done/said wrong she immediately retreats and says that "I'm totally misinterpreting what she said"..... I know it's hard for you guys to understand since you don't hear our conversations, but for example in a convo she would mention "I just want to go out and have fun" but then you would mention that later in the convo and her response to that it "I never said that..... You're just misinterpreting what I said....."

Anyone ever dealt with someone like that? Crazy, I know.....

But thanks for the tips guys..... I'm always curious to hear other people's personal experiences and how they handled the situation themselves

 

[knucklefunger]

Problem is people don't understand relationships. Real love doesn't exist any more. I think we may have lost the capacity to love. Yeah, people have sex, but love? It's sad but that kind of relationships our parents have isn't there any more.