Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Dec 15th, 2017)

[Asta]

Bet feral Luke chases those frog nuns around the island all day for fun.

And if he can't catch one he consoles himself by going down to the shore to suck on some big ol' *******.

 

[Khev]

Bet feral Luke chases those frog nuns around the island all day for fun.

All right I'm sure you posted a detailed review before I joined the party but what were your main sticking points with the film? Mostly fanboy stuff "Luke would never act like that!" or were you actually put off by the filmmaking aspects of the movie (acting, writing, etc.)?

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

Love Luke or hate him in this flick there's no denying that Hamill delivered the acting goods. I wonder if that actually makes it worse for some of you, that he really made you believe that you were watching Luke himself sucking teets, contemplating murder, etc., lol.

In a way, yes. Because there was no reason to get rid of the character and it's not like Hamill wants out of SW like Harrison Ford. TLJ showed Hamill's best acting in any of his SW movies, and for what? To be pushed aside for the new Mickey Mouse club kids?

 

[Wor-Gar]

They felt it elevated Leia greatly ...

*rim-shot!*

 

[TaliBane]

if they wanted to show anyone flying with the force it should have been luke........ .

i would even take rey doing it

Are you kidding? You wouldn't have killed to have seen this flying around in space...

 

[The Clown Prince of Crime]

He's gonna have to take that Dracula mural down now.

 

[jye4ever]

All right I'm sure you posted a detailed review before I joined the party but what were your main sticking points with the film? Mostly fanboy stuff "Luke would never act like that!" or were you actually put off by the filmmaking aspects of the movie (acting, writing, etc.)?

You putting Wor-Gar up against the wall now because he can’t use the reason that they didn’t follow thru with all of those character arc wishes everyone had because he also hated TFA.

 

[Khev]

he also hated TFA.

Ohhhh okay I guess I had forgotten if he was opposed to this new trilogy from the get-go.

 

[Wor-Gar]

And if he can't catch one he consoles himself by going down to the shore to suck on some big ol' *******.

He knows that road well.

All right I'm sure you posted a detailed review before I joined the party but what were your main sticking points with the film? Mostly fanboy stuff "Luke would never act like that!" or were you actually put off by the filmmaking aspects of the movie (acting, writing, etc.)?

You missed my review long ago.

Yes, I was less put off by the fan stuff than the actual writing and terrible structure. The story is a mess -- so many useless subplots that go nowhere so you end up right back where you were. That strange 4th act. The insane running time for.... this? The entire Casino planet. The preaching. The burn-it-all down.

And then lots of little things: cheap Yoda puppet, really poorly staged Praetorian "dance", the lack of a good lightsaber fight, the lack of a good villain, the lack of a driving story, the lack of a hero with a purpose... you know, little things like that.

Luke actually was the least of my problems. Except the ***** drinking feral child. That was silly. And unnecessary.

 

[Khev]

He knows that road well.




You missed my review long ago.

Yes, I was less put off by the fan stuff than the actual writing and terrible structure. The story is a mess -- so many useless subplots that go nowhere so you end up right back where you were. That strange 4th act. The insane running time for.... this? The entire Casino planet. The preaching. The burn-it-all down.

And then lots of little things: cheap Yoda puppet, really poorly staged Praetorian "dance", the lack of a good lightsaber fight, the lack of a good villain, the lack of a driving story, the lack of a hero with a purpose... you know, little things like that.

Luke actually was the least of my problems. Except the ***** drinking feral child. That was silly. And unnecessary.

That's a pretty exhaustive list, ha ha. Okay thanks that gives me a clearer context to all of your other comments now.

 

[SNIKT1950]

He knows that road well.




You missed my review long ago.

Yes, I was less put off by the fan stuff than the actual writing and terrible structure. The story is a mess -- so many useless subplots that go nowhere so you end up right back where you were. That strange 4th act. The insane running time for.... this? The entire Casino planet. The preaching. The burn-it-all down.

And then lots of little things: cheap Yoda puppet, really poorly staged Praetorian "dance", the lack of a good lightsaber fight, the lack of a good villain, the lack of a driving story, the lack of a hero with a purpose... you know, little things like that.

Luke actually was the least of my problems. Except the ***** drinking feral child. That was silly. And unnecessary.

Don't forget Broom Boy aka ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?

 

[Asta]

More mainstream media putting the boot in.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertain...e-milking-Canto-Bight-Snoke-death-Rey-parents



Star Wars 8 The Last Jedi: The 13 WEIRDEST moments from Luke's milking to THAT shock death

STAR WARS The Last Jedi had some seriously bizarre moments, here are the highlights.

By GEORGE SIMPSON
PUBLISHED: 14:48, Sat, Dec 16, 2017 | UPDATED: 15:51, Sat, Dec 16, 2017


Daily Express Arts Editor reviews Star Wars: The Last Jedi



JJ Abrams’ The Force Awakens may have been accused of following too closely to the plot of A New Hope, but there wasn’t anything particularly weird about that movie.

The Last Jedi however was a very bold follow-up with all kinds of bizarre moments.

So here’s a list of the 13 most out-there scenes, that left some fans wondering what on earth was going on.

WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

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UCASFILM​

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Poe’s prank phone call

The opening scene saw Poe Dameron prank calling General Hux from his X-Wing, in a comedy tone more suited to Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy.

And if you thought Hux had reached the zenith of his over-the-top camp villainy that wouldn’t look out of place in Adam West Batman, then think again.

Luke’s lightsaber throw

Fans have been waiting two years to see what happened next after the final scene of The Force Awakens on Ahch-To, with Rey reaching out to Luke with lightsaber.

How would the Jedi Master react to seeing his blue lightsaber, lost with his hand thanks to Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back? Surely with some suitable dramatic and emotional gesture? Nope.
In the most trolling way possible it seems. There might as well have been a record scratch noise to halt John Williams’ glorious theme as Luke casually throws his father’s blue laser sword over his shoulder and just walks off camera. Seriously? We waited for that?
LUCASFILM
They might as well have cut John Williams' score with a record scratch during this scene

The milking scene

As Rey follows Luke on his daily routine in exile, the last jedi decided to milk a large fat sea cow and slurp its milk right in front of her. Just a tad weird.

Floating Leia

Attacked by the First Order, General Leia is sucked into the vacuum of space and slowly starts to freeze over.
But just when you think it’s all over, she suddenly wakes up and decides to float toward the surviving airlock. Presumably she was using the Force? Even so, odd.

The leaf tickle

Having given in to training Rey, Luke gets her to sit on his meditation rock.
Closing her eyes the serious tone suddenly turns goofy as he tickles her hand with a leaf pretending its the Force.
LUCASFILM
All of Canto Bight

Finn and Rose are sent to the galaxy’s casino hotspot to find the Master Codebreaker, only to never reach him and come back with some bloke called DJ.

Essentially the whole trip was a pointless venture in a dragging middle, just to show a new area of the Star Wars universe and introduce some cute animals for merchandising purposes.

Topless Kylo Ren

During the “Force texting” scenes between Rey and Kylo Ren, one of their encounters features a topless Adam Driver. Just because? Rey even tells him to cover up.

Multi-Rey’s clicking

Investigating the Dark Side inner depths of Ahch-To’s island, there’s suddenly multiple Rey’s clicking. Okay.
But then do we find out who her parents really are? No, no we don’t.
LUCASFILM/VF
Canto Bight was full of weird and wacky creatures that were rushed through in this pointless segment

The ironing scene

Having infiltrated Snoke’s Supremacy, Finn, Rose and DJ leave the ship’s ironing room.
Of course there would need to be these areas on such a ship, but it felt in the realms of self-parody, in the vein of Eddie Izzard’s Death Star canteen.

Snoke’s death

The sequel trilogy’s main villain was barely introduced in The Force Awakens and as soon as we meet him properly he’s killed off.
We don’t know who Snoke is, how he gained power and he’s already dead half way through a trilogy. What on earth? Maybe, just maybe, he'll be back in Episode IX.
LUCASFILM
Snoke's sudden death came without character development or knowing is backstory. What a waste

Rey’s parents are nobodies

This was one of the biggest questions left by The Force Awakens and was presumed to be a shocking revelation in The Last Jedi.
But no, Kylo Ren revealed her parents were just nobodies. That’s it? We’re hopeful he’s lying though and she’ll be revealed as a Skywalker in Episode IX.

Why else would she have the Luke/Leia twin-like connection with Kylo Ren and to the Skywalker lightsaber?

Luke’s dusting off hand

After Kylo Ren orders Luke to be shot in a fury of lasers, the last jedi emerges from the red smoke on Crait, only to dust himself off with one hand. Cringe.

UCASFILM
Kylo Ren told Rey her parents were nobodies. The Last Jedi's biggest troll?

Luke never left Ahch-To

Another big one that angered the hardcore fans. Every Skywalker saga Star Wars film has a major lightsaber battle.
While this looked set to be fulfilled with Kylo Ren against Luke, it was only very brief.

However, the “big twist” was that Luke was never really there at all. He just projected himself on Crait with the Force, by meditating on a rock. What an anti-climax.

 

[jye4ever]

That's a pretty exhaustive list, ha ha. Okay thanks that gives me a clearer context to all of your other comments now.

I figured he was going to have a love/hate relationship with TLJ as he does with RO but nope he went full DiFabio.

 

[Wor-Gar]

That's a pretty exhaustive list, ha ha. Okay thanks that gives me a clearer context to all of your other comments now.

I loved the opening, loved the hyperdrive-crash. Liked Snoke dying -- since I never cared for him -- but it really put the breaks on the story that continued for another 45 minutes without the FO taking mind that their Imperious Leader was murdered. I liked Poe, even though they had him running all around confused. I hated Space Leia. Thought it was a great death scene that they totally undermined. I also didn't like her shooting Poe -- why would she do that? In fact, why wouldn't they tell him what the hell was going on anyway? Why the secrecy?

Don't forget Broom Boy aka ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?

Oh **** -- how did I forget this!!! Yes, I hated the tag ending. The worst SW ending bar none. Hated the message. Hated the Disney-fied message especially.

 

[jye4ever]

Don't forget Broom Boy aka ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?

 

[Wor-Gar]

I figured he was going to have a love/hate relationship with TLJ as he does with RO but nope he went full DiFabio.

What, no, I love RO. No hate there. Good movie. Very re-watchable. RO is like my #3 Star Wars movie ranked.

TFA is the love/hate. It bores me now so I can't watch it. But it is a well-done movie for what it is. I liked it a lot when I first saw it.

 

[Wor-Gar]

Broom Boy has a special place in my hate file.

 

[TaliBane]

More mainstream media putting the boot in.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertain...e-milking-Canto-Bight-Snoke-death-Rey-parents

I totally forgot about the multiple-Reys-clicks-their-fingers scene.

I thought she was going to let out a MJ shrill cry and begin doing a few hip thrusts. It really felt like something out of a cheesy late 70's music video where they used video "effects" like replicating the singer as if in mirrors.

 

[Khev]

I figured he was going to have a love/hate relationship with TLJ as he does with RO but nope he went full DiFabio.

Indeed.

All I know was that I felt like a kid watching a continuation of the OT and can only think of minor nitpicks overall.

My criticisms are pretty much confined to:

1. Broom Boy (only because he got the last shot of the movie, otherwise I probably wouldn't have cared).

2. The contrived nature of Finn and Rose conveniently bumping into someone ELSE who can break into Snoke's ship.

3. Casino planet/stampede probably did go on too long.

4. Ummmm, yeah that's all that's really coming to mind.

I had no problems whatsoever with flying Leia, Porgs, milk, Astral badassery, Rose, chick heroes, etc.

 

[TaliBane]

Broom Boy has a special place in my hate file.

It was like an opening to a musical - you expected it was going to cut to the kid all-grown-up as Hugh Jackman with the "Stomp" broom guys dancing as back-up, but with no hands on the moving brooms.