Why the F do girls have this much effect on people???

[ChrisCJ99]

Damn dude, is that the chick that you came over here with? She seemed really sweet, but as you said... she had that "almost too nice" girl quality. She did seem like a great girl, and she's cute.... I hope things work out.

I don't know what the situation is behind it all, but the most importantly do what you think is right. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you DO love her and want things to work, just keep trying to make it work. If she's inflexible and rock solid about it, there is nothing you can do but move on.

Best of luck bro.

Hey man! Yeah, that's the girl you met...... It's all wack man. There's always been that little sense that things weren't exactly RIGHT. Of course things were great and there was DEF good there. But just something missing always..... I know that should be my sign, but we all know that when you've only known ONE thing for YEARS that it's the hardest thing to let go of...

Shoot, I felt the same way with my FIRST gf. She was too possessive and I KNEW that I had to get away from her. But it was STILL devastating?!?!?!

 

[ChrisCJ99]

What's annoying is that all her family keeps telling me, she just wants to be alone..... She wants her space and time to figure things out. And if she wants you back, she'll have to reach out to you.

MY problem is that I'm just SOOO impatient! I just want to know NOW what the outcome is going to be....

 

[Voorhees27]

I find truth in that. I haven't experienced that "certainty" quite yet with anyone. But the thing is, my good buddy met some girl and preached "She's the one. When you know you just know....." Well, one year after their wedding they were signing divorce papers... See, so I'm just skeptical

Til death do us part, right? Its just so much easier to give up ................ I knew I found the right one 5 years ago but we also argue too .......... so a divorce doesn't always mean they weren't the "one"

 

[Skiman]

What's annoying is that all her family keeps telling me, she just wants to be alone..... She wants her space and time to figure things out. And if she wants you back, she'll have to reach out to you.

MY problem is that I'm just SOOO impatient! I just want to know NOW what the outcome is going to be....

Man.... u got it bad my son. Dude do NOT talk to her family and let there be space. The worst thing you can do is keep pouncing on the idea of gimme me an answer. Go some place this weekend and have fun, do some extra curricular activities just get out there to clear the head of this drama for now.

Let her do whatever she needs to do and if she comes back it's meant to be. Heck u never know what this road brings to both of u. Maybe she'll meet some guys and realize that there's no one out there better for her and at the same time you might meet the woman of ur dreams.

Go in peace my brother

edit: BOOMSHAKLAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

[Vader AL]

same thing happened to me(got the "Dear John letter" in basic training...1st letter I received) after my sophmore year in college but I was going to break-up with her after Basic and had a lady in the pipeline. We were long distance too and we started dating at the end of high school. It was the long-distance and she tired of that(me too) and she wanted to date other people and we were both young and in college so I understood. after a year she wanted to get back together but I didn't so we never did. I think not seeing you and meeting other people made her want to date other people(if she hasn't already, I'm sure she's hung out with other guys in a group setting) and see what else is out there. Just give her space and do your own thing, you two might get back together down the road, you might not. sounds like she has her mind set on breaking up so let her go or she might hold it against you subconsciously.

don't force it but let her know you care and want to work through it but respect her decision and will see other people if that's what she wants.

that's only my opinion though.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Man.... u got it bad my son. Dude do NOT talk to her family and let there be space. The worst thing you can do is keep pouncing on the idea of gimme me an answer. Go some place this weekend and have fun, do some extra curricular activities just get out there to clear the head of this drama for now.

Let her do whatever she needs to do and if she comes back it's meant to be. Heck u never know what this road brings to both of u. Maybe she'll meet some guys and realize that there's no one out there better for her and at the same time you might meet the woman of ur dreams.

Go peace my brother

edit: BOOMSHAKLAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Thanks man

Yeah, I'm kinda doing it to myself by keeping in touch with her family. That basically is indirectly staying in contact with her.... I even st back and realized that myself, that I can't continue to converse with her family because it will just keep it all fresh in my brain. So I'll have to cut tht off too.... It just that they really like me and they're worried about me since I'm alone out here in Cali and so far away from family.

But yeah, I've been trying to do whatever I can to stay busy and occupied. I've exhausted every avenue, except the strip clubs....

 

[Beerbelly Bob]

Release a beautiful bird out from it's cage and let it have it's freedom and let it explore......and if that beautiful bird truly LOVES you then it will always come back to you.....whether it's sooner or later...they will come back.

Be PATIENT my young padawan

 

[Wanderer]

What's annoying is that all her family keeps telling me, she just wants to be alone..... She wants her space and time to figure things out. And if she wants you back, she'll have to reach out to you.

MY problem is that I'm just SOOO impatient! I just want to know NOW what the outcome is going to be....

Chris, from the heart, i feel your pain bro. Been with my girl around the same time. We split a month ago over the stupidest ^^^^. Of course i ran my mouth off and made things worse. I tried to convince myself it was right we ended it but you have that emptiness inside eating away. It didn't help that we work together too, so there is no escape. Anyways, i kept at it trying to understand her reasoning and pushing things coz like you i'm impatient but it just made things worse. I did eventually change tack and gave her space to think. Only this last week she's started to thaw and god willing we'll give it another go.
I guess what i'm saying is give her space. Make her miss you. Its hard but go out with your buddies and enjoy yourself. If there is true love there then you two may come back stronger, if not then it wasn't meant to be.
When you're feeling down and maybe you feel your sadness may never lift, remember how you recovered from your first break up and you'll be fine! Good luck pal

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Release a beautiful bird out from it's cage and let it have it's freedom and let it explore......and if that beautiful bird truly LOVES you then it will always come back to you.....whether it's sooner or later...they will come back.

Be PATIENT my young padawan

I know. That's what everyone's been telling me..... I'm just afraid that she'll just come back and only want to be friends

That's what she's preaching right now. She's giving me the whole " I want you in my life. I don't want you out of my life COMPLETELY. But as of right now I don't want to have the responsibility of being your girlfriend".....

Gee thanks!!!!!

 

[Khev]

All joking aside, when you've found the right person it won't be "hard", there won't be mindgames, you won't have to agonize over what's going on in her head or if any of its right. Day to day life in a committed relationship will certainly have its ups and downs, but there really shouldn't be any question as to whether you *should* be with that person in the first place. Especially after 3+ years. In my opinion of course.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

Chris, from the heart, i feel your pain bro. Been with my girl around the same time. We split a month ago over the stupidest ^^^^. Of course i ran my mouth off and made things worse. I tried to convince myself it was right we ended it but you have that emptiness inside eating away. It didn't help that we work together too, so there is no escape. Anyways, i kept at it trying to understand her reasoning and pushing things coz like you i'm impatient but it just made things worse. I did eventually change tack and gave her space to think. Only this last week she's started to thaw and god willing we'll give it another go.
I guess what i'm saying is give her space. Make her miss you. Its hard but go out with your buddies and enjoy yourself. If there is true love there then you two may come back stronger, if not then it wasn't meant to be.
When you're feeling down and maybe you feel your sadness may never lift, remember how you recovered from your first break up and you'll be fine! Good luck pal

Thanks man! Yeah, but at least you can still physically SEE your woman. I'm across the whole country. So I don't have that option..... I do hear you on pushing it though. And that it only pushes the other person farther away... That's what she says, that my persistence is actually pushing her away. I have no other choice but to let it go.....

My only concern is that I'm flying back home in about 3 weeks, and I don't know if I will see her then.... I'm thinking that STILL won't be enough time away from me and I'll have to avoid seeing her while I'm there Which is going to be tough, since I'm not going to have much to do but think about it.... Since the opportunity to physically see her will be within reach

 

[Jen]

I like lurking in these threads....can be quite informative for a female.

Sorry to hear of the break up.....girl doesn't know what she wants...best to give her her space...maybe she'll come back (and maybe by then you'll have moved on) and maybe she won't. Either way, you've got to let go.

 

[ChrisCJ99]

All joking aside, when you've found the right person it won't be "hard", there won't be mindgames, you won't have to agonize over what's going on in her head or if any of its right. Day to day life in a committed relationship will certainly have its ups and downs, but there really shouldn't be any question as to whether you *should* be with that person in the first place. Especially after 3+ years. In my opinion of course.

Very true....... That's what I'm preaching. I've overcome that "uncertainty" after time. But now she's the one like "I don't know. I don't know".... Blah blah

 

[Batty]

I like lurking in these threads....can be quite informative from a female perspective.

Sorry to hear of the break up.....girl doesn't know what she wants...best to give her her space...maybe she'll come back (and maybe by then you'll have moved on) and maybe she won't. Either way, you've got to let go.

I think these threads are interesting because guys think they know what they're talking about when it comes to women. I've been with my wife for almost 17 years... I still can't figure her out.

 

[Jen]

I think these threads are interesting because guys think they know what they're talking about when it comes to women. I've been with my wife for almost 17 years... I still can't figure her out.

No one can figure us out...we are a mystery. And always changing. We like to keep men on their toes.


Hey ChrisCJ99 when you go home to visit - DON'T call her. She'll wonder what's up....let her come to you (if that's meant to happen). If she's used to getting everything she wants....well be the one thing she can no longer get. Drives women crazy.....stupid, I know...but it works....most of the time.

 

[Voorhees27]

I think these threads are interesting because guys think they know what they're talking about when it comes to women. I've been with my wife for almost 17 years... I still can't figure her out.

Thats your problem then. I feel for you

 

[DarkArtist81]

Man.... u got it bad my son. Dude do NOT talk to her family and let there be space. The worst thing you can do is keep pouncing on the idea of gimme me an answer. Go some place this weekend and have fun, do some extra curricular activities just get out there to clear the head of this drama for now.

Let her do whatever she needs to do and if she comes back it's meant to be. Heck u never know what this road brings to both of u. Maybe she'll meet some guys and realize that there's no one out there better for her and at the same time you might meet the woman of ur dreams.

Go in peace my brother

edit: BOOMSHAKLAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Yep.... as he said... just let her know that you are willing to work it out if you want, and that she can have all the space she wants.

Then you just DON'T contact her. You go and have fun, get your mind off of her and let it simmer. If she really gives a crap about you, after a month or so she will be contacting you with a vengeance. Let her miss you first.

 

[Morbach]

in these situations the best thing to do is sit on it for a while. at first you're gonna get upset and think irrationally and jump to conclusions out of paranoia. once you settle down a bit the truth will come to you and you'll know how it is. Sorry to hear about this,man.

 

[gbtv01]

Don't lie Eli you were on that as soon as he let her go!

On the guy?!?!

jk Eli

 

[Beerbelly Bob]

No one can figure us out...we are a mystery. And always changing. We like to keep men on their toes.


Hey ChrisCJ99 when you go home to visit - DON'T call her. She'll wonder what's up....let her come to you (if that's meant to happen). If she's used to getting everything she wants....well be the one thing she can no longer get. Drives women crazy.....stupid, I know...but it works....most of the time.

That is excellent advice Jen. But you have to remember most guys are stupid suckers and wont follow it.

Play it cool brother..listen to the good advice. Remember coooooll.